almost wordless wednesday: the fair

{a very loaded down stroller}

{beauty}

Miss Rose was turning their cup SO fast, Gracie looked petrified, although she was having fun.  

We had to yell to Miss Rose to slow it down

{teacups} 

{my girly girl and her necklace and her current favorite outfit, a skirt and matching tank top with Ariel on them}

She really wanted me to go on the ride with her.  Please note my knees out to the side and how squashed she is because these really aren't made for adults.  But she loved having me with her and that's all that mattered.

{go carts}

{how sweet is her smile?}

{we cannot believe how big our skater girl is getting.  she wears that hat almost every day}

And for fun, check out our trip to the Fair in 2008.  I guess I failed to blog the other years.  Interestingly enough, I was very newly pregnant with Lily in these photos--a fact I was completely unaware of and wouldn't learn for another month or so!

micro-blogging

I seem to lack the time and the dedication to keep up with life happenings on this blog.  So here are five micro-blogs.

We went to the fair on Friday and had lots of fun. I love annual events like this. I remember going with my mom when Miss Rose was 3 and Gracie was just an infant. And then they were 4 and 1, and we went as a family for the first time. And I was unknowingly pregnant with Lily at the time. And we've been there every year since.

Sunday was Father's Day. And my 34th birthday. I spoiled Bean and it felt good. I should spoil him more often. But I guess if we both were prone to spoiling the other, we'd be super broke! Maybe we both need to find balance.

Even though Sunday was my birthday, I wanted it to be a special day for Bean, and I spent the morning at church of course. So I took today off for "self-appreciation." I got a mani/pedi, did some shopping, went for a run. A couple bumps in the road made it slightly less than perfect, but it was nice to choose what I wanted to do all day.

I have 34 reasons that show I'm getting older. Feeling older. Acting older. Looking older. I'm working on embracing it, but it's not always my favorite.

Girls are just as crazy as boys. You may think that because we have three girls, that our lives are not as full of chaos, energy and craziness as a family of three boys. I beg to differ with that opinion. Come over some day, when my beautiful daughters are running around our small home playing tag, sliding in their socks on the wood floor, wrestling, yelling, hitting and kicking one another for fun, dancing, stripping down to their panties to do these activities, and the list goes on. My girls are rough and tumble. That's for sure.

I may or may not get to elaborate on these topics.  May not is more likely.

one crazy hour (every night)

This blog serves partially as a record of our family life, an electronic journal if you will.  Because I type way faster than I can write with pen and paper.  I like that people enjoy reading it, and if more people want to start reading, that's super cool.

You will laugh, and you may cry at the antics I am about to recount.  I know I did a little of both.  I publish this, because many years from now, I may not remember these details and if someone else were to tell them to me, I may not believe it.  But here, published in my own words, I have to believe it.

The hour from 6:30pm to 7:30pm is the craziest, hairiest hour each day in our household.  I'm sure it's similar in many homes with young children.  Infants and young babies are often extra fussy in the evening and it's called the "witching hour."  I would propose that the "witching hour" continues to exist as children get older, just in different form.

We typically eat dinner around 5:30pm.  By 6:30 it is time to start getting kids ready for bed.  Bean typically cleans up after dinner while I start bathing children.  We like this set-up.  I would rather be with the kids and he loves cleaning the kitchen.

Sometimes I shower all three kids.  We have a removable shower head that I use for the little girls.  This is the most expedient method, but the little girls usually protest and fuss and sometimes I am just not up for that.

Before baths and showers tonight I trimmed everyone's finger and toenails.

Tonight, a joint bath sounded much easier.  I run the bath and undress Lily.  Gracie comes in and poops on the toilet, stinking up the small bathroom.  Gracie loves to lay down in the bath, putting her lady parts right in Lily's reach.  Which is starting to interest Lily.  I can't tell you how many times I tell Gracie to sit up.  And then she lays down again.  Gracie spent the first 10 minutes of tonight's bath with her ears underwater, singing her rendition of the chorus of "Firework" over and over again, quite loudly.

Miss Rose always protests getting in the shower.  It takes her way longer than necessary to undress.  Usually because she is cavorting around half dressed or naked--often in full view of our picture window in the living room.  This is rather awkward because she is a 7-year old trapped in a 10-year olds body.  Hear head almost reaches the top of my shoulder.  The kid is tall and very solid.  She's like this pre-teen running around, yet with a child's spirit.  Awkward is just the best way to describe it.

After demanding and sometimes yelling, she's finally in the shower.  Then I have to fetch the brush for her, because no matter what I do, Miss Rose's hair is terribly tangled by the end of the day and the best solution is to saturate it with conditioner and brush it while soaking in the shower.  And we still have to brush more tangles after she's out.

Miss Rose spends the last half of her shower singing made-up songs into the shower head.  She is never happy when I say it's time to get out.  I have to dry her hair enough that it's not dripping.  She tries to talk me into drying her whole body, but I usually make her do it on her own.

Back to the other bathroom where Gracie and Lily are playing and Gracie is saying "Lily's gonna bite my bottom"  Then for goodness sake SIT UP!  A quick scrub down and conditioning of hair.  (curly hair girls, we don't use shampoo usually)

Miss Rose is taking forever to dry off, and is singing again in our bathroom.  So I have to continually call to her to go get her jammies on.

Get the little girls dried off and they insist on being wrapped in their towels.  They love running to find Bean and talk about being naked and there is often mention of nipples.  Bean is usually done with the kitchen at this point and helps with the rest of the extravaganza.

Lily always runs away when it's time to get jammies on.  And lately she's been insisting on choosing her own.  She wants "pink" although I don't think she always knows what is actually pink.

Then it's time to brush out tangles.  Miss Rose thinks I'm torturing her on purpose.  I think she will get a significant haircut in May.  Her hair is long, so there is some to spare.  Gracie's hair doesn't tangle as much, but she still hates getting it brushed.

Miss Rose goes into the bathroom to brush her teeth and do her fluoride mouthwash.  When I check on her, she's making silly faces in the mirror.  She somehow gets toothpaste everywhere while brushing.  Lily tries to get in the bathroom, but this only distracts Miss Rose. I have to drag Lily out, while she tucks her legs up, and close the door.  Lily plants herself right in front of the door and screams at me.

Finally it's time for the little girls.  Gracie stands on the stool, Lily climbs on the toilet.  Both girls start out themselves, then I finish up.  Lily plays with the soap and mouthwash bottle on the counter, knocking them over.  I usually have to sing to get the girls to focus on the task at hand.  I go back and forth, telling them not to touch something, to focus, to not fall etc.  I floss Gracie's teeth, because they are close together and that's

I've been wanting to read more from our children's Bibles and so tonight I put my foot down that Mama was reading and everyone else was listening.  Miss Rose wanted to read "but Mom, you always say that it's important for me to read, so I don't know why you won't let me."  Gracie wanted to look at her own book.  And Lily had to be on my lap, and kept grabbing the Bible.

It was a comedic 8 minutes.  Gracie was sent to her room for moaning and whining and writhing on the couch.  Lily started being goofy and saying "poop" and "pee".  Miss Rose was laughing the entire time.  And then Bean started laughing.  Lily kept going to check on Gracie.  Finally Gracie returned.    I could only get five words out at a time before having to direct a child in something.  Bean thought it was all hilarious.  I told him I had no use for him.

Gracie flips through the children's Bible and comes upon an illustration of Naaman washing in the Jordan River.  She thinks he is naked and it's funny.  I tell her he has shorts on, they are just underwater. Then she starts talking about seeing his nipples.  Seriously.

Finally, bedtime.  We pray, we sing.  During which Gracie is singing her own song.  Miss Rose is trying to hold hands with all family members from the top bunk. She gets mad when Lily doesn't want to hold her hand, which is almost every night.  Lily insists on being held.  She's getting heavy these days.  I rest my foot on the bunkbed ladder so Lily is sitting on my leg instead of my hip.  Which Bean thinks is a great opportunity to tickle my leg, so I'm laughing while we are singing, and from the top bunk Miss Rose thinks she's missing something.  Sigh.

During this crazy hour, I hardly ever stop talking.  I'm always telling a child to do something, or stop doing something.

The kids finally in bed, we collapse on the couch.

And I wonder, 10 years from now, when they can do all of this on their own, what are we going to do with that hour?

It's crazy.  But I'm sure I'll miss it.

What are your nights like?

some words

Here's some words, to match the photos here, telling you what's been going on around here.

It's just everyday life, but everyday has so much in it!

Lily is flexing her personality more and more these days.  She loves trying to copy her sisters and also pestering them a bit.  They do their fair share of provoking her too.

Bean surprised me with a Lisa Leonard necklace on Valentine's Day.  We hadn't really talked about exchanging gifts, and we're trying to be really good about our budget, but Bean always blows the budget on me.  I'm blessed!!  The crazy thing is that for a year or maybe more, whenever I enter giveaways for LL designs, I always note the Heartstrings necklace as my favorite.  Bean didn't know that.  He spent 30 minutes deciding which necklace to order, and that's what he chose.  How well does he know me??

Around the necklace is our wedding date, and each girls' name.  I've worn it a lot already.  Gracie thinks its neat that her name is on it and always asks which one is her name.  Both the little girls love handling the necklace when it's on me.  Something that makes it even more special to me.  And perfect that its sturdy and I don't have worry about it breaking.  I'm a happy camper with two Lisa Leonard necklaces in my possession now.  And I predict someday, there will be more.  Cause I just love so many of them!

Miss Rose started softball.  She's so cute in her uniform!  She has an awesome coach who has done tons of little things to make it extra fun for the girls.  Last year she played Little League, with boys and girls--so this is something new to be playing with all girls.  We roasted during her first game...and then last week her game was rained out and it looks like this week will be the same.  Booo!!!

Lily was sick, again, over the weekend.  4 days of fever and awful diapers.  I was concerned her double ear infections flared up again--she was actually complaining about her ear--so I spent 3 hours in urgent care late one night, to find out her ears were fine.  Maybe she had a headache.  Anyhow, she's better now and eating again.

Gracie got a robe from her cousin.  Which she loves wearing!  She wears it to bed a lot of nights.  So cute.  And sometimes she wears it when we take Ella to school.  And sometimes she's grumpy because she doesn't want to leave the house.  I don't blame her.

I dyed my hair.  Not permanent, but it will last a while.  A dark brown/red/auburn color.  It's something different and I like it!

It's taking me a while to get through the last part of this book.  It's not something to be read lightly.  I love absorbing it.  Digesting it.  Something that's hard to do when you're super tired.  I'm still working on my list, although writing them down has been slow going.  It's still having a tremendous impact on my life.

Bean and I are taking part in a marriage discipleship group meeting four times this year.  Our first meeting was last week and it was a wonderful experience.  It's different from anything we've done before--and not something we'd normally participate it--but we are so glad we decided to do it.  I have a few things I hope to share soon from it.

That's some very random things from our neck of the woods!

*ten*

There are still hours left in this day, but I'm pretty confident I'll be able to label it a Perfect 10.  It's been a wonderful day, in many ways!

The kids slept until 7am today.  That's pretty unheard of for a weekend.  We (usually Bean) wakes Miss Rose up at 6:30am for school, and since Gracie shares a room with her--she gets up too.  Lily usually sleeps (or at least stays in bed until 7am).  Even on weekends the kids are often up by 6:30.  Last week, or was it a few weeks ago they were up at 6am on a Saturday because Miss Rose's allergies were bothering her.  That was brutal!

A good 10-mile training run today!  Spent an hour or so with the family and got some food and water in me--then headed out.  Even though I've run 9 miles, 10 miles is still intimidating.  My course out is challenging--I have to run up some decent inclines for the first 3 miles or so.  I've learned I never feel that great for the first few miles.  Once I get past 2 or 2.5 miles I'm more in my stride.  I brought a few pieces of Power Bar with me today to eat at the halfway point and that really helped.  I was classy and put them in a plastic bag, which I tucked in my shorts. I don't want to buy a running belt--and I don't really like wearing one either (I've borrowed one before).  My method worked and I was pretty proud of myself.

I'm feeling more confident about the half marathon next month.  It's weird, but 10:30 is a pace I have a really hard time running.  I just can't find a groove there.  I usually end up with my long runs being around a 10:00min pace.  Today I think I was just under 10:00.  If I can do that pace on an "easy" run that involves hills--certainly I can stick with around a 9:30 (or less??) pace on race day--which is flat and easy.

I ran by a yard sale with a lot of kid stuff during my first mile and was excited on my way back 90 minutes later, that the stuff that caught my eye was still there.  After I got home the two older girls and I drove over to check it out.  We came home with a princess castle and figurines, a princess costume (for Gracie for Halloween), an Aquadoodle mat, and bath flutes (don't ask... I didn't realize what I was buying) for $10.  All this after yesterday I tweeted about too many toys.  Oh well.  We have too many toys the kids don't play with (and I made a no stuffed animal rule for the yard sale) and these are things they will get use of.

My sister showed up unexpectedly and it was nice to visit with her for a bit.  Her job brings her into the area for the week so hopefully I will see her a few more times and I'm trying to talk her into a long (slow) run with me next week.  She's running the same half marathon, but has been super busy at work and hasn't been able to train much.

It was a drizzly morning and its a gray day.  Perfect for staying indoors and put-zing around.  Bean cleaned out the van, because he loves that stuff.  Well, he doesn't love cleaning but he loves a clean van.  We're going to a Pop Warner football game this evening to cheer on the cheerleaders (obvs one is a frield!)

Yup, I'd give this day a perfect 10.  It was just what we needed.  I'll take another please!

And just because...

Me and my babies a few weeks ago.  We are so blessed to live in such a beautiful city!

And not to leave her out, here is Miss Rose, refusing to join us in the picture. 

Have a great rest of your weekend!  Hope you have a perfect 10 day too.

the hook up

We are blessed to get a lot of "hook-ups" in life.

I believe this is one way God provides for our needs and blesses us with "wants" because we are faithful and obedient in our giving to him.

This was a couple weekends ago when went to the mountains with good friends we don't get to see nearly often enough. We rented this HUGE house for peanuts! HUGE= to die for top of the line kitchen, 4 bedrooms with full bathrooms complete with jacuzzi tubs and showers.

The kids favorite part is this huge coffee table they play on, sit on, walk on.

Me and the Bean. These are the friends who gave Bean his nickname long ago. Mateo (aka Matato) only calls him "Beaner" which bothered Gracie a little--"his name is Daddy!"

Who knew, when these guys started calling their buddy "Beaner" that he would one day fall in love with a girl nicknamed Beana and they would have a little Bean Family.

What a great table for Legos! We love having Uncle K there too. He loves playing with the kids.

I want to go back already. Even though I had to care for a very sick Lily much of the time, doing it in a nice big luxurious house made it not so bad!

It's a girl! And other tidbits

{otherwise known as a long, somewhat rambling blog post because I miss blogging}

No, I haven't been keeping a pregnancy a secret.  And we aren't adopting--a child or a pet.  Although Gracie's fish Minnie died last night. 

However, we had an odd experience the other night.  Bean and I were out to dinner (yay date night) and our server introduced herself.  Her name was Hope.  Later on, Bean told me when she told us her name that he thought to himself that he really liked it.  And if we ever had a 4th daughter, that would be a good name for her.  What's odd (besides the fact that he actually had those thoughts) is I had exactly the same thought.  I have this compulsion with syllables because Miss Rose's name has 4 syllables, Gracie's has 3 and obviously Lily has 2.  So if we ever had a 4th child, it would need a name of 2 or preferrabley just 1 syllable.  My mind is an odd thing.

But, I digress.  {and I will continue to}

Miss Rose has decided to embrace her girly-ness.  Alert the presses.  She's a girl and she wants to show it (in her own way).

When Miss Rose was around 4, she decided she didn't like girl things at all.  She insisted on boy things.  When it was pajama day in her pre-K class, we HAD to buy pajamas in the boy section.  If she deemed something "girl" she didn't want anything to do with it.

Bean and I weren't too concerned about it.  We knew she would grow out of it in her own way and own time.  There were times I insisted on appropriate clothing for certain events, but mostly I let her march to the beat of her own drum.

By the time she started Kindergarten, we had moved on from decidedly "boy" things to more gender neutral, but she was mostly still anti-girl.   One morning walking her into school I actually heard some little girls talking behind us about how Miss Rose doesn't like girly things.  It made me giggle.

And now, we are a big first grader.  Miss Rose has spent a lot of time with our next door neighbor-girl who is about a year older and definately girly.  She has also spent a lot of time this summer with her cousin and of course watching Gracie become uber-girly.

Last year Miss Rose didn't have much of an opinion about her school clothes or materials.  I mistakenly assumed it would be the same this year.  Due to a variety of circumstances, I ended up shopping this weekend without Miss Rose.

I bought some cuffed jean capris.  But she doesn't like cuffs.

I bought a backpack.  But she wanted a messenger bag.

Bean went and found a messenger bag.  But it was blue and green, and she wanted girly colors.

I bought a new re-usable lunch sack.  But it was blue and didn't have a zipper.

Hello opinions.  Opinions I didn't expect.

Bean gets the award for Dad of the Year.  He was so concerned last night about Miss Rose having a good first day of school he scoured the county for a messenger bag for her.  Apparently they are popular, because there were literally none to be found.  Finally at Kohl's he came up with a Hannah Montana and an iCarly bag.  He bought one of each to let her choose.  She chose Hannah of course (we don't watch iCarly).

Me.  I guess I'm the hardnose.  I figured--she'll get over it.  We'll find a bag in a few weeks or order on online.  That's an interesting difference between Bean and I.  We both had childhoods were money was scarce and we didn't have a lot of the perks or even "normals" of childhood.  I honestly did not eat ANY Chinese food until I was 17.  True story.

Anyhow.  My mentality is--I survived, it really wasn't that bad and it made me stronger and it's good to understand life isn't about stuff.  Bean's mentality is--if at all possible I don't want my kids to miss out on things I did and I want to give them everything I can.  Our kids are not spoiled at all---and we say no to plenty of stuff.  Bu the difference in our approaches is quite interesting to me.

Enough with the psychology class.

Miss Rose still is, and probably will always be her own brand of girl.  I am too actually.  I like that about us.  But it's sweet to see her develop this side of her personality and tastes.  If this is how Miss Rose is, I'm petrified of when we reach this stage with Gracie.  She already is so opinionated.  And loves all things frilly, shiny and sparkley.  Watch out world.

And oh my--the competition to talk between these two, especially in the car.  Gracie has actually started saying "Miss Rose be quiet" or "let me talk" because Miss Rose continually interrupts and always adds on to whatever she was saying or asking before.  In another year or two when Lily is carrying on conversations---there is never going to be any silence!

The hardest adjustment for me with the back to school routine is getting up at 5:30am to run in the morning!  I really enjoyed getting up between 6 and 6:15 and ending my run when Bean was leaving.  But now with needing to leave the house at 7:30---with three kids ready for the day---running must happen earlier.  It's just a few days a week though, so I can't complain too much!

Have I mentioned that Miss Rose still is my amazon child?  67lbs and 50.5 inches at 6 1/2 yrs old.  That is above the 90% for both categories.  Doctors always ask where she gets it.  And I have no idea.  Because Bean and I aren't tall.  Well, I do know because we both have tall grandfathers and my dad is 6 feet.  But I just never thought I my daughter would get those genes.  I think Gracie is pretty tall too.  Could it be that all my daughters will be taller than me?  Is it bad that I was kinda glad to see two of the other "larger" kindergarteners from last year are in her class this year so she doesn't feel so big?

I really hope getting back to the school routine will get me back to blogging more.  I miss this space.

Miss Rose wasn't super keen on me taking lots of photos, so I didn't ask her to pose here-I just snapped the shot, and she happened to have an intense look on her face. 

Dad of the year and his girls.  Lily has some crazy morning hair.  She wasn't thrilled about a fast moving morning.  I guess she enjoyed our slower summer mornings too.  I LOVE that Gracie carries dolls around.  This one happens to be from my childhood and it was probably made in the early 70's.  Her name is Lizzie if you are wondering.

I sure love these four.

fun in the sun

We had a little family getaway this weekend.

Weekends always end early for us, because Sunday is a workday for me.

But our getaway started Wednesday night, so it felt like a whole weekend.

A good friend invited us to join her at a timeshare in the desert.

The execution of the trip was great.

We had a few speed bumps that threatened to derail us, but we prevailed.

(more on that another time, cause it's too good not to share.)

Then, it turned out, our friend wasn't even able to come due to unexpected issues with the purchase of home.

(She got everything worked out, so it was a good think she didn't come.)

So, we went on our friend's vacation without her. Kinda funny. But a blessing for us, since we have no means of our own to getway.

A few days in the heat of desert is fun, especially when you have air conditioning to come back into.

The girls loved the pools and the lazy river.

Even Lily got in on the action--she liked the 1-foot kiddie pool--a true answer to prayer since she has detested every body of water besides the bath I've had her in.

In her defense, the kiddie pool pretty much felt like a bath, so why not enjoy it.

We ended our trip with another trip to lunch with good friends and a stop off to visit my sister on our way home.

Here's a few of their offspring. Guess who that sweet baby on my lap is?

Bean has a few more days off to hang out with the kids while his mom is out of town.

I work this week, and then I have an entire week off with the kids.

I'm dubbing it Kidsweek 2010. All about mama and the kiddos having fun, enjoying summer and soaking each other up.

As crazy as they drive me somtimes, I can never get enough of them.

Sometimes

Sometimes, you eat dinner at Chick-Fil-A with friends.

Sometimes, the kids are very excited for the enclosed play structure. They run around before the food gets there, then the scarf down their food so to return quickly.

Sometimes, when you have a weak-stomached child, the constant playing upsets their full tummy and they upchuck a little at the top of the play structure.

Sometimes, Mama has to climb up to the top (which isn't all that easy when the platforms alternate sides and are close together) to clean up said child and stomach contents.

Sometimes, being Mom-of-the-Year, means your friends who are there also, and your loving spouse, can't control their laughter or their cell phone cameras while you do your Mom-of-the-Year work.

Sometimes, the best exit from the top of the play structure is the slide.

Sometimes, your so-called friends and so-called spouse continue to snap photos as you finally make your exit.

Sometimes, just as you finish sanitizing your hands, you realize a less than pleasant odor is coming from your baby.

Sometimes, you are impressed that there is actually a Diaper Champ in the bathroom with the changing table.

Sometimes, you want to toss your dinner, when you flip the top, only to find the nastiest dirty diaper on the other side.

Sometimes, you make your exit as quickly as possible.

Sometimes you laugh. And are thankful for friends who say "I remember when our kids were young, I was just always tired."

Sometimes, you see the other side.

But you realize, that you are enjoying the ride.

love.love.love.

This sweet, sweet girl is just three hours old.

 

Besides my own children, I don't know that I've held such a fresh baby. I'm still reliving the moment, a week later.

She had been swaddled up, but was getting ready for time with Mamacita when they wanted to snap our photo together. I had no complaints about her sweet, unbathed skin on mine. Even Mamacita was surprised to hear from the nurse that baby T hadn't been bathed yet. She smelled so good and was so soft. The nurse's response? "That's just Mother Nature."

Mother Nature. She's so good. She's got it all right you know.

Baby T was born just 15 minutes after they arrived at the hospital! Mamacita didn't know she was that far along, as her plans included an epidural. But Mamacita was quite the rock star, laboring at home for several hours, and then giving birth so quickly. Her comments "I can't believe women do this on PURPOSE without drugs." But she did it.

Birth. So amazing. This would have been my "dream birth." But I birthed three children, in equally amazing ways that were a dream, because afterward I held a fresh baby in my arms.

Go on. Scroll back up. You know you want to take in that scrumptiousness one more time and remember the last time you held such a fresh baby.

She

She
Is the fairest one of the bunch
Was my first child, in many ways.  Poor girl.
Has followed in some of my footsteps, but blazed her own trail though them
Making some much wiser decisions than I did
Knows herself better at 23, than I feel like I know myself at 32

I
held her as a newborn
each night as my mom prepared dinner
gladly changed her old-school cloth diapers with big pins and plastic pants
was her second mother, much to her chagrin as she got older
am proud of who she is and who she is becoming

She blogs
I read
And am inspired, challenged and amused.
I think she needs to keep it up.
My favorite recent post.

Give her some comment love!  (and maybe a suggestion for a new title)

Motherhood

I love this photo.

Surrounded by my girls.  A mother to three children. 
The "minimum" number of children I wanted.  I finally had them. 

A sweet, sleeping newborn on my chest.
A five-year-old; my first baby.
An almost two-year-old; still very much a baby.

So far, motherhood to me has meant babies. 

Making babies, growing babies, birthing babies, raising babies. 

Dreaming of motherhood always meant dreaming of babies.

Although it was often pure chaos, I loved having two babies for the past year.

I loved being that mom with two kids born in two years. 

That mom people looked at in the store like I was crazy. 

It was something I always kind of wanted, but was too afraid to plan.

But Gracie-girl isn't so much a baby anymore. 

And every day Lily is growing and changing. Too fast for my taste.

Too soon, I won't have a baby. It's bittersweet.

I need to start re-defining my motherhood soon. I'm not ready yet though.

I'm still drinking in the baby-ness of my now 15-month-old.

I hold her chubby cheek to my face. I cherish her grip on the back of my arm. I memorize the heaviness of her head on my shoulder before I lay her in the crib.

Motherhood.

It's everything I hoped it would be, and more.

**This post is part of a giveaway on We Are THAT Family.**

15:: *60*

Today, my mom is 60.  My mom looks GREAT for being 60.

This is from Mother's Day, 2009.  I went through my photos and I guess I haven't taken as many of my mom recently.  Now that she lives next to us, I guess I don't think about photos as often.  Gotta rectify that!

My sisters and I really hope that we have our mom's genes and look 10-15 years younger as well, after we hit 40.

She has been dubbed "Nannie" by Miss Rose, a name picked up on by the younger grandkids of course.  We decided my mom wasn't a "Grandma" and I liked the names "Nana & Papa" for my parents.  When Miss Rose was learning to talk, we shared a house with them.  When Miss Rose began calling us "Mommy & Daddy" I guess she thought the same rules applied for grandparents and they became "Nannie & Poppy."  We think it's quite cute and endearing.  I wonder if the kids will go back to "Nana & Papa" when they get older, but maybe the names will stick.

My mom hasn't had the easiest time of it the last decade or so.  Along with her own health struggles with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, her wedding vows were really put to the test when my dad had a debilitating stroke in 2000.  It changed their lives drastically.  But my mom has stayed so true to her wedding vows, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse.

Still, she looks so good for 60.

Much of who I want to be as a mom, and how I want my children to turn out, is due to the example of my mom and my parents.  Also, some of the things I hope to avoid as a parent and individual are due to my mom too.  She's been quite transparent with her weaknesses and regrets.  Just today she commented to me on how my "generation" in our family has learned so much from the past and are making choices to set us up for success in life and in raising our children.  Like many, we come from various issues of dysfunction.

Happy Birthday Mom!!

Mom with her grandkids 1 year ago on her 59th birthday.  Baby Hawk was still in utero.  Miss Rose is clearly so thrilled to be in this photo.  I believe I recall some threats of punishment if she didn't cooperate and her trying to exit through a emergency exit.  And in the midst of this, my mom shines on!  Can you tell she raised four children?

2:: Holding them close

Warning: it's a heavy topic tonight.

Last week a 17-yr old girl disappeared after going for a run at a well-known and travelled spot.  Thousands of volunteers have been searching for clues and a few days ago an arrest was made.  The city has been holding out hope that she would be found alive and safe.  Unfortunately this afternoon a body was discovered and although it has not been officially identified the Sheriff has said there is a strong liklihood that it's her body.

One year ago, a 14-yr old girl disappeared while walking to school and there are now suspicions that the same suspect could be involved.  Her body has not been found.

Several years ago a young girl disappeared from her home and was found to have been kidnapped and murdered by her neighbor.

When I was in high school, a girl from my youth group was murdered in her home by a neighbor.

I can't bear to follow closely, but every day or two, when I see mention of Layla Grace on Twitter, I check in. 

So much grief and sadness.

It's heavy, I know.  A topic perhaps we'd like to avoid and push to the back of our mind.

But tonight, it's close to my heart.  Because close to my heart I hold three daughters.  Three beautiful, precious girls.  Who are often the target of such heinous crimes.  Three girls who could easily get sick like Layla Grace and so many other little ones, like Allie, a sweet baby just 1 month older than Miss Rose, a story I followed closely.  (Allie's mom is awesome, BTW)

I never want to let my precious girls out of my sight right now.  Miss Rose has had the privilege of riding her bike around our short block on our own.  I can't handle that idea right now.  The crimes I listed above, they occurred in "good" neighborhoods, ones even a bit more upscale than my own. 

I rushed home from work tonight to get Miss Rose to T-ball practice.  On any other day I may have been a bit impatient to get home and get dinner started and our evening routines going.  I would have a mental list going of what needed to get done and what I wished I was doing.  Tonight, I gladly watched Miss Rose practice with Lily safely in the sling and Gracie next to me.  We walked over to the playground and the little girls got to swing.

I cherished every moment.  I chose to take advantage of the opportunity I had to play with my little girls and watch my big girl learn T-ball (she's already one of the better hitters and throwers!) 

Why wish I was dealing with the responsibilities of the home--when I could just play and drink in their sweetness.

I know I can't protect them from everything.  I know above all, I have to trust God for their well-being.  But for as long as I can, I'm going to hold them close and cherish the opportunities to play, because sometimes, it doesn't last forever.

24

I am fairly certain that the last 24 hours of my life could easily have been made into a season long series chronicling one hour each episode.

Oh wait, there's already a show like that.

Well, I think mine would have a great "mom" audience.

Hmmm...that would make a great TLC type of show, don't ya think?

I am so tired tonight it's amazing.  I should be in bed.  I would be, except it's Bean's birthday today and he's at worship practice.  I'm trying to stay up until he gets home.  Or until I can't keep my eyes open any longer.  Nights like this I wish we had a TV in our room, so I could be cozy in bed.  But then the chances of my falling asleep would be even greater.

Back to 24.

Seriously, the last 24 hours = insanity!  The regular ins and outs of life, as well as me always trying to do too much.

You want to know what I have been so busy with?  Oh, sure.  I'd love to share.  I might just go back a few more than 24hrs.

Wednesday
 4pm: Leave work after a very full day catching up from having Monday off.  Pick up kids from mother-in-law

4:30pm: Arrive home with little girls, begin to prepare dinner

5:00pm: Bean arrives home with Miss Rose from her first T-ball practice.  Miss Rose gets in the shower while I finish up dinner.

5:30pm: Family sits down to eat.  Gracie only eats 1 baby carrot and 2 forced bites of pizza muffin.

5:45pm: Scramble to get out of the door to church

6:00-6:30pm: Leave for church, arrive at church, check kids in, take 5-month old niece for sister-in-law who is speaking to the youth group

6:30-8:00pm: Lead small group; niece is antsy so being the great uncle he is, Bean takes her out and walks around for the majority of the time

8:00pm: Bean and I are in possession of 6 children.  I'm carrying two babies, two 6-yr olds & a 3 yr old are running around like crazy, 2yr old is crying because we aren't his mom.  Bring 3 kids to their mom, take our 3 kids home.

8:30-9:00pm: Get home, finally get our kids in bed.  Now I have to go to the store because I'm starting cinnamon rolls tonight for a playgroup baby shower tomorrow.

9:30pm-11:15pm: I go through the first few steps and waiting periods of making cinnamon rolls while watching TV with Bean.  Finally go to sleep.

Thursday
5:45am: Wake up to make a small pan of cinnamon rolls for Bean before he leaves for work.  He always spoils me rotten and deserves some of the same for his birthday

6:30am: Cinnamon rolls are cooking, girls wake up, begin morning routines, Bean and the girls enjoy cinnamon rolls together before he leaves.  Worth the price of admission.  Or the price of waking up so early

7:30am: Take Miss Rose to school, stop by the store to pick up a few things I need to finish cinnamon rolls (having enough cinnamon is crucial)

8:15am-9:30am: Feed little girls more breakfast, get cinnamon rolls in the pans and rising, bathe little girls, shower myself, get everything in the car, drive to playgroup and get rolls in the oven.

11:45am: Arrive home from playgroup (always a fun, chaotic time) where friend was showered with diapers and we all ate the yet unborn baby's weight in cinnamon rolls.

Feed little girls lunch, do first set of dishes (we have no dishwasher), clean the hardened melted butter, cinnamon, sugar & flour (I really just spelled it "flower" and had to go back and correct; TIRED) off the dining table

1pm: Finally get little girls down for naps; my mom comes over so I can go get birthday gifts for Bean

3pm: After successful shopping, pick Miss Rose up from her after school aerobics class

Deal with a tired 6yr old, little girls finally wake up from nap, clean up the house a bit, do a few more dishes, start getting dinner ready, put laundry in (I'm SO behind right now)

Work with Miss Rose on her sight words for a test tomorrow, and monitor her homework. 

4:15pm: Bean the Birthday Boy arrives home; gotta keep dinner going, potatoes not baking fast enough in the oven, baby is fussy and hungry, crackers not cutting it

5:15pm: With Bean's help, dinner is finally ready and we sit down to eat

5:30pm: Dinner's done, time to load up to head to Frozen Yogurt as our birthday treat

6:00pm: We've driven separately to Fro Yo.  Bean now heads to church, I head home with the girls

So thankful that the girls are clean enough to skip bathing tonight.  Not happening! 

It's a calm evening for the most part. 

7:15pm: Girls are in bed, nurse baby and put her down. 

More laundry.

Toys are strewn about the living room.  Dinner stuff is still on the table.  I never did get the cinnamon roll dishes finished, and now dinner prep dishes are there also. 

I am, stuck on the couch.  I simply have nothing left.  It can wait.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Thankfully, it's a day with no plans, no major to-do list, no appointments.  It's also the neighbor's day to drive to school.  Which means I just have to get Miss Rose out of the house, not all 4 of us.  And I'll be in my jammies for a long time.

I loved treating Bean this morning to a special birthday breakfast on a workday.  I loved making cinnamon rolls for our playgroup.  I loved eating them. 

I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining.  Because I'm not.  Just telling it like it is!  And sometimes, it's tiring, while also being rewarding.

I AM going to have to put away some clean laundry before I can go to bed.  It's folded on my bed currently.  See, a mom's work is never done.  Even when she tries to be done.

what matters

The end of this year has just pretty much sucked. I try not to use that kind of language, especially around my kids. But it's sucked. Death, sickness, hospitalizations for family & friends. There have been some good times intermixed in the week (hanging out with good friends, and friends I haven't seen in a long time), but the death of our dear friend and brother Eddie, has just left a cloud of sadness over everything. Even last night, when we were at a Bowl game, and the atmosphere was fun, everything made me think of Eddie, and his family. Just sadness.

(you can read more here, here & here)

But these events have given Bean and I perspective, once again. Family and togetherness is what matters. It doesn't matter what else may be going on, or have happened, being together makes it all okay.

It didn't matter that in the course of a few hours the afternoon of New Years Eve, we had an extra toddler in our home while the neighbors made a quick trip the ER (torn ligament for the Mister). It didn't matter that my mom came home from the hospital after a hip replacement surgery. It didn't matter that Bean and Miss Rose left to get my mom's prescriptions, but the wait was long, so he left, got garlic bread at the store, dropped Miss Rose and the bread home, then returned to the pharmacy.

It was chaotic. Tiring. Not New Year's Eve-ish at all.

But we put it all aside, for our

Second Annual New Year's Eve Family Ice Cream Night.

Together.

We ate ice cream. Good, gooey ice cream. Even the baby. Who kept screaming for more. (I ate ice cream too, there were just no photos of it.)

I was dressed in fine satin, Sakura Bloom style! With my sweet, silly, girls. (Don't you love how you can see their individuality in this photo? I do.)

Bean and his girls. They love him, and he loves them. I see his love for them grow daily, and it melts my heart. (Can you tell the sugar is kicking in for Gracie?)

Then the sugar hit full force. Yes, Gracie is wearing one of her infamous sock-gloves. After she was buckled in, she told us she was doing her exercises, as she raised her arms up and down. Completely random; and hilarious. As you can see, Miss Rose was cracking up!

We were together.  And that's what matters.  I don't take it for granted.  My heart and prayers are with Eddie's family, who won't be together with him again this side of heaven.  And for other dear friends who have loved and lost this year.

 

Family. Together. What matters.

He's her daddy

Yesterday Miss Rose and I went out to do some errands, including Father's Day Prep. While at Nordstrom Rack I asked her to stand in one spot while I checked out some flip flops (one thing for him, one for me, right?!) She picked up some Converse ankle socks that happened to be to her left and asked if she could get them for Daddy. Not a bad choice since he never buys socks for himself, and he loves his Chucks.

I agreed--yes, great idea for Daddy. Miss Rose proceeded to pick up a box that was to her right and say "or we could get him these." Um no dear, Daddy does not need boxer briefs. And please quickly put the box back and let's go before we have to discuss male anatomy while in Nordstrom Rack. You know what the photos on those boxes look like... Thankfully we made a clean getaway!

If she had it her way, Miss Rose would have given Daddy his gifts right when we got home, but I talked her into waiting. But first thing this morning she wanted to give him the socks--so of course I let her.

After church this afternoon she was ready to give him the tongs we bought (ours recently broke and we do a lot of grilling, so they are necessity) and then she spotted the card she picked out for him and insisted on giving it to him without signing it. And she was thrilled to present him with the "World's Greatest Dad" paper medallion she made in Sunday school.

Who needs wrapping paper, big presentations or even to sign the card? He's her daddy. And it's Father's Day. And she can honor him however she wants. It's special not because of the packaging, but because it truly came from her heart.

I just wish this weekend came from her bank account too, not ours. It's been very fun and very special...but a birthday and father's day made for an expensive weekend. As Bean always says, "it's just money, and we can always make more." We may be eating beans and rice and peanut butter and jelly a lot the rest of the month! But it was worth every penny.

The best years of my life

I turned 32 yesterday. I don't feel like that much of my life has passed. Yet I look around me, and it certainly has. Babies who were born to friends of mine around my high school graduation are entering high school this year. It doesn't seem right!

I couldn't have asked for much more on my birthday! It started the night before when I decided to make a "birthday eve" cake, because I needed some chocolate. My favorite homemade cake came out wonderful and after sharing it with family, friends and construction workers--it was gone in less than 24hrs!

My "middle sister" came to town the night before and stayed with us. She is my favorite running partner. We managed to get Miss Rose to ride 4 miles while we ran (and I pushed the little ones) at the Lake. Miss Rose was quite done by the end, but she was a real trooper. And instead of the June gloom that persists today, yesterday was sunny!

Aiden Hawk (to compliment his brother Talon Steele), my newest nephew was born on my birthday. My sister in law's doctor scheduled the c-section for that day, and so they went with it. I got the pleasure of going with him for his first bath at the hospital. So sweet.

Bean had something in the works for quite a while. My "little sister" came also to see the new baby and celebrate with me. The sisters, Bean, Lily and I piled in the car and headed downtown. We ended up at Old Spaghetti Factory (another favorite ) for dinner...and slowly my closest, longtime friends (well a few were missing!) showed up for dinner and then we all went to a baseball game. It was such a special time and meant a lot as most of them had to travel 90miles to celebrate with me.

My husband, my family, my nearest and dearest, I am blessed.

There is a local radio show I have been listening to since elementary school. They sign off their time slot saying "this has been the best day of our lives."

I wholeheartedly echo that about each day and year of my life. Sure there are difficult times and moments. But I love my life. I love every minute I spend with my children. I love the husband God blessed me with who spoils me rotten--even though I never want him to. I love every time I get to pray with someone in my job and see their life changed. I love my friends, new and old.

Every year has been, and will be, the best year of my life. Because God has blessed me richly in so many ways.

Oh yeah. Bean let me order something I've been drooling over for my birthday. I'll share it with you when it arrives! The man truly does spoil me :)

Weekly Blog...

That seems to be what this has turned into. I do enjoy blogging, so I will take what I can get.

Life is going on...the girls are growing...every day is organized chaos. Chaos that I love and thrive on!

Miss Rose is finishing up her EAK class. Last week her class read Teddy Bear Picnic and we were invited to join them on Friday for a picnic. I brought a picnic lunch for all of us and we enjoyed a good time. My sister happened to be visiting, so it was nice to not have to wrangle all three plus lunch by myself!

Gracie is a character as usual. Last Thursday she was especially making me laugh. She was still in her jammies (a nightgown with non-matching pants underneath). I went to the car to get something and next thing I know, she's walking out to me with a bright green mesh laundry basket in one hand and an oven mitt on the other. Why? Why not of course!! She also tried to stuff the same basket in the bottom part of our armoire. I'm not sure what her plan was there.

The same day Gracie came to me in the kitchen and said "I need scissors." Really? You are barely two. It scares me that you know enough about scissors to ask for them. Of course I did not comply. I did some interrogation and she had a plastic toy that she thought looked like a sandwich and needed to be cut. Oh yeah, and I also found her pushing Lily in the swing saying "swing up higher." This one, she keeps me on my toes!

Lily has mellowed some, but she still makes her opinion known. We still swaddle for naps and nighttime, which I hope she won't need much longer. She wakes one time at night to nurse and I'm still waiting for that one night she just sleeps through.

Here are some recent photos from a family baby shower and Lily's dedication.

Warning: Photo Overload Ahead



Have you seen a cuter little girl??


Sister love



This photo is blurry...but it's a great representation of our family. Notice Miss Rose hiding her face in me because she was embarrasssed to be on the platform. Gracie is being energetic. Do notice though that Miss Rose is wearing a SKIRT!


I love this photo! I love my baby girl.



A pretty decent family photo if you ask me.



These are my two sisters. Notice how DIFFERENT we all look. I think my girls are going to be like this too. Some familial resemblances but individual looks.


Can't you just get lost in those blue eyes? I'm still hoping her eyes remain blue!

And....party of FIVE

Have you been wondering what happened to me???

This little one just doesn't keep to our family plans!

Baby's conception was a surprise!

At the first ultrasound we discovered the pregnancy was about 4 weeks further advanced than we had calculated.

C-section was scheduled 10 days before the due date.

But baby just couldn't wait!

Lily Cate arrived on January 28 at 3:15pm, born crying! She's healthy and perfect. 6lbs, 5oz and 19in long. My smallest baby by far!

Life has been quite a whirwind (especially for Bean) as SO much wasn't ready for this baby's arrival.

Lily and I arrived home tonight. Miss Rose and Gracie were really missing having Mommy at home, so I was thankful the doctor released me. Since it was my third c-section, I know the routine pretty well and can actually get more rest at home.

Sometime next week I will try to share the rest of the story. In the meantime I'll be resting and cuddling my baby girl and enjoying our family.