oh so proud

I'm a pastor.

My kids have cut their teeth on the church pews.

Yeah, that last sentance makes me sound VERY old.  But I still like it.

I sang and lead worship while the older two were in utero.  I went on a missions trip pregnant with Miss Rose and she came to Mexico with me three times as a newborn, 1 year old and 2 year old.  I took Gracie on a missions trip when she was 2.5 months.  Gracie came to work with me until she was 6 weeks old.

They have probably been in double the amount of Sunday School classes most kids are--because when they know I'm at church, they want to be there too.  They rarely miss Sunday School.  Unless someone in the family is sick.

So, you'd think they really have the truths of Scripture in them, even at their young ages.

Which is why I was so proud tonight when Miss Rose said:

"Sometimes I like being bad.  I think I'll make Satan my friend."

And not ten minutes later, Gracie said:

"I'm going to kick Jesus out of my heart."

They were in separate rooms, and did not hear what they other said.

Proud doesn't even begin to describe how this pastor-mommy feels.

I'm going to need to have a chat with their Sunday School teachers.

quotable

SETTING
Mama is brushing out Miss Rose's freshly washed hair.

Daddy: Miss Rose, do you know you have beautiful hair?

Miss Rose: yes, I do

Mama: do a lot of people tell you you have beautiful hair?

Miss Rose: No

Mama: well, what makes you think your hair is beautiful?

Miss Rose: Well, I've seen it.

Good to know she is very self-confident!!

{almost} wordless wednesday

Miss Rose had her jogathon last week.  

It was kind of chilly and windy, but she rocked it! 

19 laps.

Lily put in about 3 laps herself.  She loved it.

She'd take off on her own, telling me she as going to find her sister.

Several yards away, she'd look back and tell me to "c'mere"

So off we'd go, again

She's not going as fast as it appears here.  It was windy! 

Gracie wasn't as into it, but in this photo she was into running towards me!

At the very end she decided she wanted to do a lap and we jogged almost the whole thing.

I was wearing flats.  Silly Mama.

Next year, I'm wearing my full-on running gear, and am going for it! 

this is how we celebrate

As promised, photos of our 4,520 birthday celebrations.  Or maybe it was just 5. I don't even think I have photos of all of them.

But here are our oldest and youngest, turning 7 and 2.

Lily, telling you that she's "2"

Crazy kiddos!  (our buddy Bear is in a tux, because he was going to a fancy party after ours)

Favorite activity lately: Plasma Cars.  

This one isn't ours, but I actually bought each girl one for her birthday this year and they will arrive this year.  Gracie will be getting an early birthday present.  The kids fight over these and they go up to 200lbs, so they'll last a long time.

HAPPY TO YOU! 

She absolutely reveled in her birthday song and I was really surprised that she blew out the candles on her own!

Miss Rose's cupcakes 

(I'm also happy to say, I'm getting closer and closer to replicating my favorite icing from a local bakery.  It's one of my most important life goals.  Once I perfect it, I'll share the recipe.)  Notice the creative carrying boxes--a team effort by Bean & I.  A postal shipping box and toy box with the tops cut off.  Pretty good when you don't want to spend the $$ for a cupcake carrier!

Birthday girl hiding behind her cupcakes at school.

Fro Yo on her birthday night!  

We have a fun yogurt shop down the hill from us that has a huge screen playing kids movies.

The highlight of her birthday gifts...Paper Jamz. 

 I must say, I am pretty impressed with this toy.  All the girls love playing with it.  I'm pretty sure this photo was taken prior to 7am the morning after her birthday.

Sweet Lily Cate's birthday cookie!

Me and my last baby. *tear*

Miss Rose & besties

notice the cousins, in their matching purple skinny jeans :)

The golfing gang

Is that enough pictures for you?  Notice, I didn't even take any of the family celebration we had for Miss Rose.  Or maybe I took one and I just haven't downloaded it yet.

Can you tell why I was tired??

Miss Rose and Lily loved it all and felt special and that's what really matters!

best laid plans

I made a small mistake, with the best of intentions.

Instead of 2 birthdays in one week, I ended up celebrating 5 times in one week.

What was I thinking???  Bean and I were supposed to be out of town this past Saturday, so we celebrated Lily's birthday with a handful of people a week early.  Even though it was a small celebration, I still wanted it to be special for her.  She has enough cousins to constitute a decent-sized birthday party, so of course we needed snacks and decorations.  (turned out we weren't out of town, so we could have streamlined more, but the change in plans came too late)

Miss Rose's actual birthday was Wednesday.  She wanted it to be a special day, but she really had no idea what she wanted.  It was a school day, a work day for me and a 12-hour workday for Bean.  Which didn't leave us with a lot of options.  I made cupcakes the night before and we brought them to school that morning.  She chose to have pizza and frozen yogurt that night--it was just me and the little girls and there is a story of how the night was almost a disaster, but I'll save that for another time.  You may need to remind me though, if you are curious.

Then, Lily's actual birthday was Friday.  It was a pretty basic day.  Sometimes on the weekends, when Bean and my brother-in-law are working, my sister-in-law and I get together for dinner.  We spend much of the evening breaking up arguments, telling kids to share, feeding picky kids and cleaning up their messes--we have 7 between us.  But at least we get to have snippets of adult conversation in the middle of the chaos, which is a nice break from being alone in the chaos.

I picked up a cookie cake from the grocery store (if you have Albertson's, they make really good cookie-cakes--large pizza sized cookies that are soft and delicious).  We ate pizza (I know, we are eating a lot of that lately) and sang before we ate the cookie.

Then, on Saturday I took Miss Rose, her cousin and best-neighbor-friend and Gracie to Boomer's--a local place with miniature golf, go-karts, bumper boats and an arcade.  She'd never been before and that's what she wanted for her "party."  It was fun, but exhausting too.  Gracie was moody and spent more time running around the golf course.  Miss Rose got hit in the head with a golf club at one point.  The girls had a great time, although true to form Miss Rose found a few reasons to melt down at the end.

Oh wait, we're not done yet!  Saturday night we had family over for Miss Rose's birthday.  As if the rest of it wasn't enough.  Some of our family was sick, so it was my parents and bro & sis-in-law and their 4 kids.  It was just what Miss Rose needed though, to complete her birthday fun.

It was overload though, of the best intentions.

This celebrating two birthdays that come in two days, is quite a challenge.  I want to make their birthdays  special and unique.  I don't want them to feel like their birthday was lost in the mix.  Oh, and this year it was real fun to help Gracie understand why it wasn't her birthday too.

Maybe I over-did it just a bit.  This is only my second year balancing these two birthdays.  So I learned what not to do.  Last year, Lily didn't understand birthdays yet, so it was a bit easier.

I'm already thinking about what to do next year.  We may just do a huge double birthday at the park.  We'll go Gosselin style and sing twice, once to each girl to make it special.  That way family only has to come to one event and I'm done in one shot.

And have I mentioned that Bean's birthday is in two weeks?  And Valentine's Day.

We don't do things the easy way around here.

Stay tuned later for a photo post of all the fun!

I hope 7 is heaven

Dear Miss Rose,

At 8:25am this morning, you are officially 7 years old.  You have a lot of expectations for this birthday, but you aren't quite sure what they should be.  You just know birthdays are special and you want your day to feel special.  Which is kind of hard when your birthday falls in the middle of the week!  But I'm going to do the best I can.

You continue to grow tall and strong.  Your head almost reaches my armpit and I'm pretty sure you'll be taller than me by the time you are a teenager.  But you still love to cuddle and be hugged.  You want to be carried to bed like your younger sisters, and we indulge sometimes.  Every morning when you wake up, you hug me.  When I get home from work or I pick you up from school, you still greet me with an excited "mommy!" and a big hug.  I love that.

I'm not going to lie, this last year has been challenging with you.  Your attitude has been in full swing.  You are so strong-willed and too intelligent for your own good.  There has been more crying, yelling and discipline then I would like.  But we are responsible to raise you right, and we'll fight for it when necessary.

I'm really hoping that age 7 is much easier for you.  In fact, the past few weeks have been markedly better.  I'd like for age 7 to be like heaven!

You have taken more of an interest in pop music and you learned to look up videos on You-Tube this year (with supervision of course).  You and your cousin love to have dance parties and put on dance shows.  You continue to experiment more with your feminine side.

You love to read and write and play school.  You are an amazing big sister, always willing to help your sisters and they love you in return.  You love outdoor activities.  You are rarely cold and many nights (even though I'm usually freezing) you take off all your pajamas and sleep in your underwear.

Speaking of underwear, you think it's hilarious to run around the house naked before your shower and when I point out the huge windows in the living room, you do a little jig in front of them.  I'm just waiting for the day someone walks up at just that moment!

Miss Rose, we love you so much and we are so proud of you.  Yes, we have our difficult days, but your performance and behavior at school is so exemplary that we know you have incredible potential to be the same way at home.  You are such a unique individual and my prayer is that God guides us in raising you to be who he created you to be.  We don't want to break your spirit or force you into a mold.  We do want you to be submitted to Christ and live in the fulness of his grace.

We love being your parents!

birthday eve

7 years ago, it was my last evening before becoming a mother.

Miss Rose had not cooperated and was comfy with her head up in my ribs, close to my beating heart.  She would make her debut through the surgeon's cut.

Bean and I went out to dinner that night and saw the movie Big Fish.  I made sure everything was ready and packed for my early morning wake up.  I took my trusty Tylenol PM because I knew there was no way I'd fall asleep quickly.

I spent years dreaming about becoming a mother.  Imagining what it would be like to have a baby of my own.  Once that first baby was growing in my belly, I dreamed about her.  Wondered what she would look like.

Would she have darker skin like her dad?  Or the lighter skin that would be in 75% of her genes.  Would her hair be curly like mine?  What color would her eyes be?


I already loved her.  I was already her mom.

She was my dream come true.

I remember that night like it was yesterday.  I remember waking up the next morning, so excited for what the day would hold, even if it wasn't going to be the birth I had hoped for.

Regardless of the means, my baby was going to be born.  I would hold her in my arms and nurse her at my breast.

I waited my whole life for that day.

It's been everything I hoped it would and so much I never knew it would be.

Motherhood is the best and the hardest thing I've done in my life.

On this, my firstborn's birthday eve, I think back to that night.  I think back on the last 7 years.

And I love it.  Being a mom is the greatest gift.

random Christmas moments

I need to blog these before I forget them, because you know this is my cyber baby book.  Maybe I should get out Lily's baby book and actually write something in it before her 2nd birthday in a month.  Quite the overachiever I am.

We've had a great Christmas.  Full of family and love and fun.  The kids actually slept until their normal wake-up time, which was nice since we were up until about midnight the night before, wrapping gifts and hanging with my sisters who are in town.

A sidenote here:  if you have sons, for the love, please teach them to wrap gifts.  As a spent a few hours the past two nights wrapping 100% of our gifts, I wished that my husband was adept at gift wrapping.  He typically bribes one of my sisters to wrap my gifts.  This year, we only got each other one small gift since we need to spend a little money on our house.  I requested a book from him.  {i know, if you clicked on that link, you aren't surprised}  I insisted that HE wrap my one gift.  Which he did. 

And when I opened it this morning, it was still shrink wrapped to the cardboard with the invoice inside.  He claims he wanted to disguise the gift.  The one thing I SPECIFICALLY asked for.

So mother's of sons, please teach your offspring to wrap gifts.  So that they can join in on the hours of wrapping at Christmastime.  It will be a huge blessing to their future wives.  I may actually start a free community class for men, teaching them to wrap gifts.

I won't bore you with the play by play of the day, but these are the moments I want to remember...

Gracie falling in love with two more dogs...which she promptly named after the dog we had for three days, and our friends new puppy whom she loves.

Gracie & Lily getting their groove on to Justin Beiber with their cousins.

My nephew and daughter attacking their grandma in joy because they got gifts they really wanted.

After shooting off a new marshmallow gun, Gracie put one hand on her hip, the other hand in the air and said "I'm awesome."  Yes baby, you are! 

Lily...well, she was a wreck today.  She just didn't know what to do with herself!!  It was a lot of commotion that she didn't necessarily understand, and she was mostly interested in what everyone else was getting.  I purchased just two items for her stocking stuffers.  She doesn't understand it all anyways.  The baby bottle I bought broke and I had to throw it away.  I felt bad that there would just be a ball in her stocking, so I decided to put a toy cell phone in that she's been playing with for a few days.  My sister found that hysterical.  Hey--just being resourceful.

I stopped myself from putting the kids leftover Halloween candy in their stockings when I realized I hadn't bought any for them.  I should have just done it.  Miss Rose expressed extreme disappointment tonight that Santa didn't bring her any candy, but he did bring candy to her friends. 

Mind you, we don't do Santa in our house.  She's only learned about him from friends, TV, movies and the like.  But she has decided he is real, and she gets angry if we insinuate otherwise.  It's like a personal offense to her.

Before bed, as the nightly meltdown was occurring, she said the toe socks she got in her stocking were stupid and Santa shouldn't have bought them for her.  Bean said "hey, don't say that, someone had to spend money on them."  To which she retorted, "nobody bought them.  Santa's elves SEWED them."

Oh my.

These are the moments to remember though.

We were so blessed to be able to give, to our children, our family, our friends.  And so blessed with what we received as well.

hi-ya!

I took Miss Rose to Karate for the first time tonight.  I've been wanting to take her for over a year now, but it just never seemed to work into our schedule...or I didn't make it work into the schedule.  But since she didn't want to play soccer this Fall, I thought it was a good time to try it out. Our church has a completely amazing free karate program.  It's super legit and they have over 100 people coming (many of whom are from the community) coming twice a week.

Miss Rose has a pretty strong Type A personality.  She loves plans and routines and she thrives with them.  Karate seemed like a good fit for those tendancies.  Plus, the control and discipline required in martial are great for kids to learn. And Miss Rose is very athletic and needs an outlet for energy.

It was just our first week, but Miss Rose loved it!  And she seemed to pick up on some skills pretty quickly.  I didn't watch the entire instruction time, but she came home with several moves already that weren't sloppy, but seemed controlled.  We'll wait several weeks before we invest in the Gi to make sure she wants to continue her involvement. 

Miss Rose is often rather ambivalent about various activities and experiences.  It was neat to see her engaged and animated tonight.  I really do hope this sticks.

It's a girl! And other tidbits

{otherwise known as a long, somewhat rambling blog post because I miss blogging}

No, I haven't been keeping a pregnancy a secret.  And we aren't adopting--a child or a pet.  Although Gracie's fish Minnie died last night. 

However, we had an odd experience the other night.  Bean and I were out to dinner (yay date night) and our server introduced herself.  Her name was Hope.  Later on, Bean told me when she told us her name that he thought to himself that he really liked it.  And if we ever had a 4th daughter, that would be a good name for her.  What's odd (besides the fact that he actually had those thoughts) is I had exactly the same thought.  I have this compulsion with syllables because Miss Rose's name has 4 syllables, Gracie's has 3 and obviously Lily has 2.  So if we ever had a 4th child, it would need a name of 2 or preferrabley just 1 syllable.  My mind is an odd thing.

But, I digress.  {and I will continue to}

Miss Rose has decided to embrace her girly-ness.  Alert the presses.  She's a girl and she wants to show it (in her own way).

When Miss Rose was around 4, she decided she didn't like girl things at all.  She insisted on boy things.  When it was pajama day in her pre-K class, we HAD to buy pajamas in the boy section.  If she deemed something "girl" she didn't want anything to do with it.

Bean and I weren't too concerned about it.  We knew she would grow out of it in her own way and own time.  There were times I insisted on appropriate clothing for certain events, but mostly I let her march to the beat of her own drum.

By the time she started Kindergarten, we had moved on from decidedly "boy" things to more gender neutral, but she was mostly still anti-girl.   One morning walking her into school I actually heard some little girls talking behind us about how Miss Rose doesn't like girly things.  It made me giggle.

And now, we are a big first grader.  Miss Rose has spent a lot of time with our next door neighbor-girl who is about a year older and definately girly.  She has also spent a lot of time this summer with her cousin and of course watching Gracie become uber-girly.

Last year Miss Rose didn't have much of an opinion about her school clothes or materials.  I mistakenly assumed it would be the same this year.  Due to a variety of circumstances, I ended up shopping this weekend without Miss Rose.

I bought some cuffed jean capris.  But she doesn't like cuffs.

I bought a backpack.  But she wanted a messenger bag.

Bean went and found a messenger bag.  But it was blue and green, and she wanted girly colors.

I bought a new re-usable lunch sack.  But it was blue and didn't have a zipper.

Hello opinions.  Opinions I didn't expect.

Bean gets the award for Dad of the Year.  He was so concerned last night about Miss Rose having a good first day of school he scoured the county for a messenger bag for her.  Apparently they are popular, because there were literally none to be found.  Finally at Kohl's he came up with a Hannah Montana and an iCarly bag.  He bought one of each to let her choose.  She chose Hannah of course (we don't watch iCarly).

Me.  I guess I'm the hardnose.  I figured--she'll get over it.  We'll find a bag in a few weeks or order on online.  That's an interesting difference between Bean and I.  We both had childhoods were money was scarce and we didn't have a lot of the perks or even "normals" of childhood.  I honestly did not eat ANY Chinese food until I was 17.  True story.

Anyhow.  My mentality is--I survived, it really wasn't that bad and it made me stronger and it's good to understand life isn't about stuff.  Bean's mentality is--if at all possible I don't want my kids to miss out on things I did and I want to give them everything I can.  Our kids are not spoiled at all---and we say no to plenty of stuff.  Bu the difference in our approaches is quite interesting to me.

Enough with the psychology class.

Miss Rose still is, and probably will always be her own brand of girl.  I am too actually.  I like that about us.  But it's sweet to see her develop this side of her personality and tastes.  If this is how Miss Rose is, I'm petrified of when we reach this stage with Gracie.  She already is so opinionated.  And loves all things frilly, shiny and sparkley.  Watch out world.

And oh my--the competition to talk between these two, especially in the car.  Gracie has actually started saying "Miss Rose be quiet" or "let me talk" because Miss Rose continually interrupts and always adds on to whatever she was saying or asking before.  In another year or two when Lily is carrying on conversations---there is never going to be any silence!

The hardest adjustment for me with the back to school routine is getting up at 5:30am to run in the morning!  I really enjoyed getting up between 6 and 6:15 and ending my run when Bean was leaving.  But now with needing to leave the house at 7:30---with three kids ready for the day---running must happen earlier.  It's just a few days a week though, so I can't complain too much!

Have I mentioned that Miss Rose still is my amazon child?  67lbs and 50.5 inches at 6 1/2 yrs old.  That is above the 90% for both categories.  Doctors always ask where she gets it.  And I have no idea.  Because Bean and I aren't tall.  Well, I do know because we both have tall grandfathers and my dad is 6 feet.  But I just never thought I my daughter would get those genes.  I think Gracie is pretty tall too.  Could it be that all my daughters will be taller than me?  Is it bad that I was kinda glad to see two of the other "larger" kindergarteners from last year are in her class this year so she doesn't feel so big?

I really hope getting back to the school routine will get me back to blogging more.  I miss this space.

Miss Rose wasn't super keen on me taking lots of photos, so I didn't ask her to pose here-I just snapped the shot, and she happened to have an intense look on her face. 

Dad of the year and his girls.  Lily has some crazy morning hair.  She wasn't thrilled about a fast moving morning.  I guess she enjoyed our slower summer mornings too.  I LOVE that Gracie carries dolls around.  This one happens to be from my childhood and it was probably made in the early 70's.  Her name is Lizzie if you are wondering.

I sure love these four.

Can Psalm 23 help her find her way home?

Miss Rose needed ANOTHER school physical before first grade.  I guess because her last one was when she was 5, before pre-K she was due, even though her pre-K one counted for last year.  I don't understand.  All I know is they told me I needed to turn another form in and I couldn't talk them out of it.

If you recall, that particular appointment was like wrestling a bear.  One and a half years later, I hoped that Miss Rose was more calm, cool and collected and it wouldn't be the ordeal it was before.  I prepared her to have to pee in a cup, the hearing and eye tests and such.  She was a bit hesitant, because that's her.

Let's just say it could have been a lot worse.  I still ended up with pee all over my hands helping her get pee in the cup.  That was just lovely.  Especially while babywearing Lily in the sling to keep her contained.  I'm sure Miss Rose loved peeing in a cup with the audience of her mom and sisters too.

There was a touch and go moment when the doctor questioned whether or not she had recieved her Hepatitis A booster.  We were being seen at a different office than our usual one so they didn't have Miss Rose's complete chart.  Thankfully, the doctor chose to defer to when he could check out her chart.  That was the point Miss Rose stopped clinging to my leg for dear life.

Perhaps my favorite moment of the exam came when the doctor questioned her on our phone number and address.  We haven't really taught her either yet. I suppose we are slackers. 

In my defense, she can now recite the entire 23rd Psalm.  Which I am pretty impressed by.  So if she is ever lost, she can be comforted by reminding herself "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."  She just won't be able to tell anyone her address or phone number.

Apparently I should have worked on the logical stuff first.  What can I say, I'm a pastor!  She's a pastor's kid.  I'm still pretty proud of her!  After we recite our memory verse tonight, I'll work on our address and phone number with the kids.

unfortunately

We survived another trip to the dentist this morning.

Miss Rose experiences great anxiety when dental work is required. 

Unfortunately, she needed a tooth extracted at the age of 2, which traumatized her.

Unfortunately, she has inherited soft teeth with deep grooves. 

And I learned today, that her teeth may be doomed before food ever gets stuck in their crevices.  She had a 6-yr old molar come in recently, that already had a hole in it.  The dentist gave me a name for it, which I can't remember and am too lazy to google right now. 

These are some unfortunate combinations.

At age 4 she had some dental work done and they chose to sedate her with Versed.   It was quite an experience because the medication made her pretty loopy and she was saying some funny stuff.  I was sad to have to see my girl like that though.  And even with that sedation, I had to restrain her some for the dentist.

Today, we decided to try nitrous oxide first.  I gather that not all 6-yr old need this.  However, my poor girl was in tears as soon as we hit the doorway of the exam room.  Part of me wants to tell her to snap out of it and buck up, but I know that she has legitimate anxiety.

It was borderline at first.  She bawled through the shots, even though the nitrous was on her and the dentist used numbing gel before he gave the shots.  But, she didn't move through it all.  In fact, I think the bawling helped.  I've never seen her mouth so wide open before.  It was hard to see her so affected.

While the novacain took effect, so did the nitrous.  By the time the dentist returned, she was calm enough for him to do all the work needed (2 sealants and 2 cavities).  We see a pediatric dentist, so she was able to watch a movie in the ceiling and listen with headphones which help drown out the dental tools.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid this won't be our last visit for cavities.  It seems that she's doomed.  We do the best we can, but even the dentist says for her, it's just inevitable.

Unfortunately, for Miss Rose, I renewed a passion to limit the candy my kids eat.  I've been lax lately.  Especially with all the holidays and birthdays in the past 5 months.  It's not like they eat inordinate amounts of candy, but they could certainly eat less. 

Some things, you just can't change.  You do the best you can.  But you can't control everything.  It's unfortunate, but it's life.  Life will never be perfect.  There's always going to be a challenge.  There's always going to be something that isn't fair. 

You might bawl a bit like Miss Rose, but there is always something else you can choose to focus on (like Kung Fu Panda playing in the ceiling).  But the pain is for a purpose, a greater good.  And afterwards, you may feel numb for a while.  Slowly, the memories fade, the pain recedes and predictability returns.

Unfortunately, that's just life.

9:: hot rod

I'm hoping that my daughter stays athletic and not too concerned about her looks.
I know I'm biased...but she only gets more gorgeous each year and in a few years, when boys start looking her way, I'll be quite happy if she is oblivious and just keeps on in her independant way.

The Hot Rods first game was rained out.  Hopefully Saturday, we'll get to play her first game!

today

Today...I am tired.  I feel like I could stay in bed and sleep the entire day.  But I was up early and out of the house with the kids at 7:30am because the bigger girls had dentist appointments.  They've been "watching " one of Miss Rose's back molars, and today he said it's crossed over to the dark side and it's time for a filling.  Unfortunately she has soft teeth with deep grooves.  I'm hoping her permanent teeth are stronger.  I'm NOT looking forward to the cavity appointment.  I am quite confident we'll be paying the fee for nitrous oxide.  Remember this experience when she had shots at the doctor's office?  That was over a year ago, she's quite taller and weighs 10 more pounds.  I'm not thinking she'll take well to the shots in her mouth.

Today...I have a sore throat and headache.  Along with being tired.  A few families at church have had strep throat recently, as did Miss Rose a month ago or so.  Not that I think I got it from any of them (if I have it) but apparently, it's going around.  I'm hoping I don't have strep.

Today...I'm going to spend as much time on the couch as possible.  Thankfully, Gracie is in love with Ice Age-the Dinosaurs.  I'm not sure the exact title, but that's what she calls it.  She's perfectly happy to lay on the couch with me watching it.  Miss Rose rarely watches more than abou 45min of TV or a movie before she's bored and wanting to move on to the next thing, so I'm glad she's at school!

Today...I have many things that could or should be done.  That's what happens when you work a few days a week and are home a few days.  Everything piles up.  Errands, chores, cleaning, organizing.  I don't know that any of them will get done today.

Today...I'm just working on making it through today.  I seem to cycle through weeks of positive thinking and outlook on my crazy, busy life.  But then weeks like this one come along, and without any real rhyme or reason I feel overwhelmed and discontent with the balancing act.  I know I'm not the only one.  All working mothers experience it.  No matter how much you love your job or are fulfilled by it, being a mom is stil number one, and it's hard when you aren't living up to your own expectations.  Even when you've lowered those expectations quite significantly.

Today...is the day the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it.  A few mornings ago, this verse came to mind as I was driving Miss Rose to school.  Gracie and Lily were in the car too, and our next stop was Grammie's, where they would be for the day while I went to work.  I was already missing them.  Feeling sad that I had two more days of work before I could be more hands on with them.  And I thought to myself, if THIS is the day the Lord made, then no matter what the day holds, whether I like it's contents or not, I need to rejoice and be glad.  Not an easy pill to swallow when I'd rather just wallow in self-pity.  Because THIS is the day the Lord made.  He made my day.  He knows the contents of my day.  He knows what I have to do and where I have to be.  So I need to trust him, and rejoice and be glad.

The trusting part I'm doing okay with.  Rejoicing and being glad...I'm working on it.  But I am resting in the knowledge that he made today.  THIS day.

clean up, clean up

Do all six-year-olds protest cleaning, or is it just mine?

Because you'd think we were asking her to remodel the house.

She whines and moans and complains.  She "can't" see things that are right in front of her.  She tirades about the unfairness of it all.

Quite frankly, it's exhausting just supervising.  Which is maybe how we go to this point in the first place.  It's much easier to do it ourselves, or just leave it.

This night though, I was going to win the battle.  So I followed her around, instructing her on what needed to be done.  I made her throw away the tiny pieces of paper she had cut, much to her dismay.  She had to pick things up and put them in their rightful place.  I wasn't going to let the 5 markers on the TV cabinet stay there, like I usually do.  We were cleaning up every little thing.

And, she did.  It was a battle though.  Lots of tears and protests.  I had to tell her every little thing to do. 

What kills me, is she is one of the most responsible kids in her classroom.  Always volunteering and helping.  Never giving her teacher trouble.

So I know she has it in her, the potential is there.

Now if I can just muster the energy to go through this tomorrow night. 

Consistency is key, right?

overheard

Overheard in my bed this morning, as all three girls were having some mommy time.

For no known reason, this exchange occurs:

Miss Rose: Gracie, can you say"rectangular prism?"


Gracie: Can you smell my foot? (while sticking said foot in her sister's face)

It still makes me laugh out loud!  I love being a mom and I live for these moments.

Sometimes the funny exchanges have some sort of reasoning behind the content.  Not this one though.  Just pure kid exchange!

A little update on my current journey...

I've been enjoying me some yummy food.  For the most part I haven't over-indulged, but definately not refusing either.  My aim is for balance, not going without or going with too much.  For me, this is about a lifetime, not just a diet that will end.  I'm sure after Valentine's Day passes, I'll get back on track a bit more.  Or maybe not, as Bean's birthday is coming up as well.  Well, I'll have a few days with no excuses!

I have been able to get in some runs and workouts this week.  I could have used one or two more, but the few I got are better than none!  I've been trying to do some ab work and arm work on a daily basis.  I feel a bit sore in those areas, so I guess it's doing something.

I had one of my best runs in a long time today.  I have really been focusing on making myself run faster.  Running with the Nike+, on my known route is a big help.  I know generally where my mile markers are and the Nike+ will tell me at any time what pace I'm running.  For a few months now, I've been running sub-10 minute miles on my shorter runs. 

Today, my goal was a 45min run of all sub-10 minute miles.  It took me almost 2 miles to find my groove, which is longer than normal.  But I finally found it and just kept pushing myself.  The more I push myself, I find that my "set speed" is getting faster.  When I push, I can run at an 8:30min mile pace.

The verdict?  4.8 miles in 45 minutes.  Blew 10 minutes out of the water!!  If I remember correctly, that put my average pace around 9:25 per minute.  I'm really having to push, and a lot of the time I feel like a lumbering elephant, completely ungraceful. 

My new goal?  5 miles in 45 minutes.  That would be a flat 9 minute mile.  I think I can do it.

birthday girls

Where has the year gone?

How has this little newborn...

Grown into this bubbly baby girl?

I mean, she is still quite a baby.  And will be for several more months.  Especially since she still hasn't decided to crawl.  I'm definitely not ready to leave the baby-raising years yet.

But it's still hard to believe that it was just one year ago that she was born.

Our sweet surprise.  A desired child, who came at an unexpected time.

Although I am a planner, the baby-lover in me always thought it would be special to unexpectedly concieve.  And sure enough, I did!  Not only did I unexpectedly concieve, but I also was a full 4 weeks more pregnant than I thought when I had my first ultrasound.

Lily has brought so much joy to our family.  How could a baby not?  I love seeing Miss Rose interact with her in a nurturing manner.  It shows me how "grown-up" Miss Rose is.  Gracie loves her baby sister so much.  The first thing she says to me when I get home from work is "there's your Lily."  I can tell in the next few months as Lily learns to play with others, she and Gracie will become fast best friends.  In another year or so, I fully anticipate these little girls sharing a room and giggling together at night as they go to sleep.

Lily may not crawl yet, but she has acquired other talents.  She plays peek-a-boo both with a blanket and also with her hands.  Much of the time her hands are to the side of her eyes, but she knows what she's doing.  Her first official word is "hi."  Lily loves to greet people with an outstretched hand, a "hi" and a smile.  She also loves to talk on the phone.  Anytime she sees the phone she says "hi" over and over again.  If I touch her nose with one finger, she'll reach out with one finger for my nose. 

We had a small celebration at a park playdate for Lily, cousin G who turns 2 on Monday and another 1-yr old.  Lily was all about the mini-cupcake placed in her hand.  The other little girl was much more dainty about it.

At home tonight, we had another small celebration for our birthday girls.

 

Clearly, Lily enjoyed this cupcake too.  She wasted no time digging in to it.

I can see that this week of the year, is going to be a full one for us from now on.  Between celebrations at school and with family and friends, times two, it's a week full of baking, preparations, sugar, but most importantly--love.

Poor Gracie, doesn't quite understand this year why her two sisters are sharing birthday celebrations, but she isn't included.  We will be sure to make a big deal out of her birthday in April!  I think three is when they finally understand what a birthday is and all that it entails.  Gracie, my little diva, will certainly soak it all in when her day comes around.

Although the parties are fun, with family and friends, what I treasure most are the moments with just the five of us.

And what better end to our day, then a litle reading time with all my babies.

They are all still my babies and always will be.  Miss Rose is like an oversized puppy dog who still wants to crawl into your lap.  Gracie still asks to be held and carried quite often.  And Lily, well obviously, she IS still a baby. 

I love them and I'm in awe of their love for me.

Hired: my most important job

Miss Rose turned 6 today! 

She had a wonderful day!  Lots of love, treats, family and phone calls.  She was quite popular and talked on my iPhone more than I did today.  It was definately her day.  We were outside, getting ready to head to dinner, waiting for the neighbor girl who was coming with us.  Neighbor girl was having a hard time because decided she would rather go to the school talent show...which caused Miss Rose to cry because she wanted to go too.  So after make sure she understood the trade-off, it was decided Bean would take the two girls to the talent show.  Miss Rose was thrilled, Bean and I were bummed.  We were looking forward to a family dinner out.  But it was her day, to choose what she wanted--and hey, we saved some bucks not paying for dinner out!

The overriding thought in my mind today has been that it was 6 years ago that Miss Rose made me a mom.  A job I had long desired and waited for.  Finally, I was hired!!  I felt awful most of the day she was born thanks to reactions to medications and a c-section.  But it paled in comparison to the knowledge that I was finally A MOM.  I was overjoyed to nurse her for the first time, to change her diaper, to lay with a sleeping baby on my chest--a baby that was MINE.  Miss Rose wasn't too interested in sleeping in the isolette at night and was much happier in the crook of my arm.  And quite honestly, I was happier with her there too.

I love this job more than anything.  On the craziest, most overwhelming days, I still wouldn't change it for the world.  I may work outside the house, but I strive hard to still be a full-time mom.  You can work outside the home and still be a full-time mom.  Yes, it takes sacrifices on many fronts, but so worth it.  There are days I want to escape.  To get out on my own.  But not too long into my solo forays, I'm anxious to get home to my family. 

So, thank you Miss Rose, for making me a mom 6 years ago.

I love you more than anything and I cherish every moment of being your mom.  Even when you challenge me, when you annoy me, when you won't listen, I'm so blessed to be your mom and that God chose me to raise you to love and serve him.  You are an amazing big sister, so tender-hearted and loving. 

Your name means "My God has answered" and God truly did answer my prayers and give me the desires of my heart when he gave me you.

Something new...and someone 6

I'm trying out Disqus comments.  I like it on other blogs, so we'll see how it works here.  You don't have to register for an account if you don't want to.  But if you do, then I can comment back to you, and you'll be notified of it.  Just sayin'....

My first baby girl turns 6 tomorrow.  At 8:25am in the morning.  Want to read her birth story?  It's here.
6 is a big deal.  She's really becoming a big girl.

Hopefully I will have the time to share some birthday thoughts tomorrow.  We're taking her out for dinner, always a fun time with the kidlets!  Entertaining.  Hopefully Gracie won't start yelling out about her nipples like she did the last time we went out.  That kid is a crack up!

Tomorrow morning when we arrive at school,  I'll be loading the double jogger with a baby, a box of cupcakes and probably a toddler on the very front.  Because that's what you do when you're a mom.  She's SO worth it.

2 for 2

It's become almost comedic.  Luckily I have a good sense of humor and am not easily overwhelmed.

I was tweeting, but didn't blog about the fact that I took Lily to the doctor in the pouring rain on Monday. Picture it, sheets of rain pouring from the sky, a sick feverish baby, a toddler with a nap cut short, and a mom trying to carry them BOTH into the dr. office, with a kindergartener trailing behind.  A glamorous life!  The verdict was ear infection, which I suspected.

And now...

Miss Rose has strep throat.  I didn't want it to be true.  I was hoping it was just a virus.  That the redness I saw in her throat yesterday was not as bad as I suspected.

This morning though, there was no denying it.  The redness had spread across the roof of her mouth and was peppered with small red dots.  It looked a lot like the images I googled yesterday of strep throat.  No, I don't believe everything I see or read on the internet.  I spoke with a nurse who agreed she needed to be evaluated.

The doctor went through the usual questions and initial evalution.  After one look in her mouth, he looked at me and said "have you seen this throat?"  I answered "yeah, that's why I'm here!"  He kept talking about how "hot" her throat was, which made me laugh.  A quick strep test and again "that's a hot throat."

Perhaps the harder part comes the next 24hrs--keeping Miss Rose semi-quarrantined.  The dr. says strep is very contagious and the impression I got was with the raging case she has, perhaps even more so.  Miss Rose is an oral child--lots of toys and her fingers are in her hands often.  And what 2yr old isn't oral?  So there is a lot of cross-contamination that goes on in our home, no matter how many reminders I give.  In fact, I'm quite concerned with with the exposure that's already occurred.  Can't change that now.

I must say, I'm rather impressed with my mommy instinct.  I try not to be a hypchondriac mother who takes her children to the doctor at every sniffle or cough.  It helps that I have to pay $15 every time we go in!  I hate to waste that $15.  Although Bean says it's never a waste, because better to know they are okay, instead of worrying.  But, 2 for 2 this week, knowing my children had some sort of infection going on and needed antibiotics.

I may open my own pre-screening clinic.  You can call or email me, tell me what's going on with your child, and I'll tell you (according to my very un-educated opinion) if you should take your child in.  For a small nominal fee.

Really though, I think I am going to work on a blog about what I've learned the past few years and what criteria I use to judge whether my kids need to go in or not.