What do you do?

What do you do, when your almost 2-year old decides yelling all the time is meaingful communication?  And by yelling, I mostly mean yelling the world "no" over and over.  And by yelling, I mean REALLY LOUD.  What do you do, when she thinks it's funny to not come when you call?  And she just looks at you with a smirk and says no.  And when she does this all day long?

What do you do when your 3-and-a-half year-old is obsessed with potty talk and actions?  As in, pulling down her tights and panties to moon her dad, completely out of the blue.  (and to our knowledge and her confirmation, she hasn't ever seen this, she just felt like it).  What do you do when she instead of giving you a goodnight kiss, she sticks her booty in your face and says "kiss my butt" even when you don't use the word "butt" in your house.

What do you do, when your first grader only has negative remarks and responses to just about everything in life?  Even though her life really is quite good, she can only see the negative, which usually is what she perceives as negative.  Or sometimes it seems like she fabricates negativity, just for the sake of being negative. 

What do you do?

Oh, did you think I was going to answer the question?

I wish I could.  I wish I could answer these questions.  Because they plague me.  I do my best to deal with each situation.  But it's exhausting.  And my punishments, the consequences, at the moment, don't seem to make a difference.  My days and nights are filled with yelling, booties and negativity.

Welcome to my world.

Even so, I like my little world and the little people that live in it.  But oh they are challenging.

she just wanted me

I read this post of MckMama's tonight.  I remember reading it the first time she posted it.  Such truth to those words.

In fact, I had my own similar experience tonight which I had thought about blogging.  Reading her post has prompted me to do so.

Gracie-girl, my sweet Gracie, is becoming quite the handful.  Part of it is the influence of her older sister.  Part of it is her age.  Part of it is perhaps feeling like she misses out on attention she wants because she has an 18-month old baby sister.

When she doesn't get her way, she often says "I never get to _____."  When asked to do something, often her initial response is no.  How she talks to us and responds is often disrespectful.  This weekend in the car she requested a particular CD.  Miss Rose was already in tears over something else, so I felt that we needed some worship music.  Gracie did not like that I was changing it from the kids music and she chucked a toy towards me and the front of the van in disgust.  I hadn't pulled away from the house yet.  I quickly got out of the car, pulled her out the carseat and spanked her.  I had two crying children in my car.  It was such a treat.

Gracie has also learned how to turn on the tears.  She doesn't do it too frequently, but it's happened enough for me to observe that she can control her tears.  After all the usual stalls and requests and bedtime routines, Bean told me Gracie was crying in her bed and wanted me to come lay with her.

This was at least 15 minutes after we had left the room.  Maybe more.  I thought--no, I'm not going to lay with her.  She's just trying to postpone bedtime and manipulate me.  Sure enough when I entered the room she was sitting up, expectant.  When I asked her what she needed, the tears began, with her request that I lay with her.

I figured, I'll compromise.  If I refuse, it will prolong her bedtime.  But, since I realize she's dragging bedtime out, I will put a limit on it.  So I told Gracie I would lay with her for two minutes.

I laid down and she curled up into me, like she did as an infant when we co-slept.  She nestled her head in the crook of my neck and shoulder, just like she did for so many nights as an infant and toddler when I sang to her before a nap or bedtime.

My girl just wanted me.  Sure she was postponing bedtime and using her tears to do it.  But she really did want me and need me. 

And she deserved those few minutes I spent with her.   Because often her requests are put to the side as I deal with a demanding 18 month old.  Spending those few minutes with her, meant a lot more to her, than using them for something else would have meant to me.

This is why I am a mom.  And why I love it so much.

10:: v-day (1)

I've been mulling ove this topic for weeks, maybe even months now.  Thinking about what I would share.  Working through it all in my head.

Whew. I think I'm ready.

So, v-day is almost upon us.  Our official baby-making days will soon be over.

If you've been following my blog for a while, you may have picked up that this is a bit difficult for me.  I love babies.  I love feeling a baby move inside my belly.  I am a rare person who loves those first few months of the tiny, squalling, even colicky baby.  Don't get me wrong.  I get tired and frustrated like everyone else, but yet I love every moment.  I had a hard time saying Lily was my last baby.  I still do at times.

I always imagined myself with four children.  Maybe its because I'm one of four children and I really enjoyed our family size.  Maybe its because being a mom is my favorite thing in the world (besides marrying Bean of course).  Maybe I want four children because I'm crazy.

Bean was open to stopping at just one child after we had Miss Rose.  But he agreed that giving Miss Rose a sibling was important.  We had some long talks about having a third child.  It was extremely hard for me to reconcile with having two children.  Bean, being the wonderful man that he is, concluded that I would always regret not having a third child (which was correct), while he would love that child from the moment it was conceived. 

Not long after this conversation, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant with our third child!  Even though we were planning on a third child, the timing wasn't what we would have planned with our second just being one year old and some job insecurity at the time along with buying our first house.  We had a few tense conversations coming to terms with our new reality.

Lily is such a wonderful addition to our family.  Miss Rose and Gracie love her.  The covet her attention and her smiles.  She gets so excited to see them and interact with them.  She's my sweet baby.  A mama's girl.  She loves to be worn and wants to be held all the time.  I can't imagine life without her.  And in many ways, she does complete our family.

Yet I still have this crazy desire for a fourth child.  It's lunacy, I know.  I already have a hard time working and mothering three children.  My house is rarely organized or picked up.  There is always something that needs to be done.  I'm on the verge of a mental or emotional breakdown a few times a month.  Evenings are crazy in our house.  Miss Rose turns goofy, Gracie is hyper and Lily wants to be held.

And still I would add another child to that mix.  (Yes Bean, really I would.  I know he's reading this right now thinking--you can't be serious.  But I am.

But Bean, he's done.  There is no way he can fathom another child.  And I understand that.  In my head, it makes sense.  We live in a sub-1100 square foot home.  Two working parents and four small children sounds rather unmanagable.  We aren't those working parents who have lots of money for nannies and housecleaners.  We rely on family for childcare (and they are wonderful) and clean our own home.

It makes sense.  It's the right choice.  We have a wonderful family and three beautiful daughters.  Me, the mom who loves children, I'm at minivan status.  I have more children than "average".  It's responsible.

This, this is my head speaking.

Tomorrow, I'll share more from my heart.

How to know when to take your child to the doctor

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional.  Beyond some biology classes and an Emergency Medical Technition course, I have NO medical training.  I'm just a medical sponge and have a great pediatrician.

Growing up and even into college, I wanted to be a doctor or a nurse.  I've always been fascinated by medicine and I love researching and learning medical things.  As a mom, I've found it beneficial to learn and understand more about viruses, infections and antibiotics.

I don't like wasting money, and I really don't have any to waste.  Paying $15 per doctor appointment (and $50 for Urgent Care), I don't like to take my children in for every sniffle, cough or even vomiting episode.  At the same time, I don't want to be a negligent parent and allow an infection to worsen because I was hesitant to pay a co-pay.  I also don't like to over-medicate my children, and while antibiotics are necessary at times, there are negative attributes as well.

I have a great pediatrician who loves to explain things and even test me in my knowledge and understanding of my kids illnesses.  I'm not sure if he's like that with everyone, or if he senses that I'm a medical sponge.

Last month I was 2 for 2 in one week, taking my children in and leaving with a prescription for antibiotics, I've been patting myself on the back for making good use of my doctor and co-pay.  While mommy instinct does play a part, I think it's more due to the mental checklist I've created over the past few years.

Here's Beana's guide to diagnosing your children...It's pretty basic.

Fevers
Fevers are good and normal; they fight infection.  They are common at the beginning of a virus, and usually don't require medical intervention.  Liquids, cool baths, wet cloths all help with fever.  For high fevers, I usually give Tylenol or Ibprofren.  As amazing as it sounds, fevers as high as 104 are within the "normal" range for kids.  If my kids have a low fever (below 101) I usually let it ride and do it's job without medicating.

Usually fevers lasting more than 3 days can indicate some sort of infection that may need treatment.  A lot of it depends on the other symptoms.  Recently, with the swine flu and other flues that went around, fevers lasting a week were part of the usual run of the illness.  Two of my kids went through this.

From my experience, a fever is a real issue is when a child has been sick with a cold or respiratory flu for a few days or a week, and gets a fever all of the sudden.  According to my pediatrician, this almost always indicates a secondary infection.  Which is exactly what happened recently with Lily.  She had a cold for a week or more--runny nose, coughing.  But no fever.  When she suddenly became feverish, and it climbed to 102, I knew there was something more going on.  And sure enough--ear infection.

I've also learned, a fever combined with a sore throat and no other symptoms can be strep throat.  This is what recently occurred with Miss Rose.  She actually didn't complain as much as I would have expected for how bad her throat looked.

Runny Noses
The bane of all mother's existance.  We should seriously buy stock in Kleenex.  Runny noses run so rampant in the winter.  And they can last a few weeks.  We've found (and this is my ped's rule of thumb) when a runny nose lasts more than two weeks, it's often turned into an infection.  This is especially true when the mucous is thick and it's acompanied by a cough caused by post-nasal drip.  My pediatrician doesn't go as much by color of mucous as he does duration.

I've heard it estimated that in their first few winters, children pick up a few viruses a month.  This is how the body builds immunity.  Runny noses, which come with colds, can be the cause of infections that do need treatment.  But on it's own, a runny nose is just a runny nose.

Ear Infections
These aren't too hard to pinpoint.  In my children, the primary indicator is usually when they've had a cold and suddenly get a fever.  We seem to catch them before they get too painful.  So far, it's usually the fever that tips me off, not the child complaining of pain.  My chiropractor told me once that he never used antibiotics when his children had ear infections.  He liked letting the infection run it's course and only once did it result in a ruptured ear drum.  I did let an ear infection run it's course in Lily when she was a newborn.  I just wasn't ready to put antibiotics in her system.  And she recovered just fine.

Vomiting
For the first two years of her life, every time Gracie got a fever, regardless the cause, she would vomit.  Usually multiple times.  Her little system was just very sensitive and that was it's response.  Quite the opposite of Miss Rose who has vomited less than a handful of times in her six years.

Dehydration is the biggest concern with vomiting.  After many conversations with triage nurses late at night, I've learned some tricks.  For small toddlers and children, they usually recommend trying 1 teaspoon of Gatorade every 20-30 minutes if there is concern for dehydration.  Have you ever actually tasted pedialyte?  It's awful.  Definitely go with Gatorade!  I think the last time Gracie went through a vomiting stint, they wanted her to urinate at least once in several hours.  She got very close to going beyond the threshold, but finally urinated.

Another trick I learned (from a friend, and also recommended by the on-call nurse) is making rice water to soothe a tummy.  You boil rice in water--just like you were making some to eat--but before all the water cooks in, pour the water off the rice.  It should look slightly milky and be a little thickened.  It's full of soothing starch.  You can feed it directly to the child or mix it with another liquid or food.  This helps tremendously with settling their tummy and even stopping up loose stool.

Bland foods are obviously the foods of choice when recovering from a sick tummy. 

So...bottom line...my rules for doctor visits:

--fever+pain (sore throat, ears etc)
--fever that comes several days after the initial illness set in
--runny, thick congested nose lasting more than two weeks
--fever lasting more than three days

There are plenty of times I take my children in to the doctor and they don't need antibiotics or other treatment.  Sometimes as a mom, you just need that peace of mind.  And as Bean always says "that's why we have insurance."

What do you look for before you take your child to the doctor?   What was your "shining mom moment" when you hit the nail on the head with your child's sickness?  (just like I did last month--2x in one week!)

This has been a very sickly season for us and many of our friends and family.  I'm looking forward to warmer weather and less germs!
 

2 for 2

It's become almost comedic.  Luckily I have a good sense of humor and am not easily overwhelmed.

I was tweeting, but didn't blog about the fact that I took Lily to the doctor in the pouring rain on Monday. Picture it, sheets of rain pouring from the sky, a sick feverish baby, a toddler with a nap cut short, and a mom trying to carry them BOTH into the dr. office, with a kindergartener trailing behind.  A glamorous life!  The verdict was ear infection, which I suspected.

And now...

Miss Rose has strep throat.  I didn't want it to be true.  I was hoping it was just a virus.  That the redness I saw in her throat yesterday was not as bad as I suspected.

This morning though, there was no denying it.  The redness had spread across the roof of her mouth and was peppered with small red dots.  It looked a lot like the images I googled yesterday of strep throat.  No, I don't believe everything I see or read on the internet.  I spoke with a nurse who agreed she needed to be evaluated.

The doctor went through the usual questions and initial evalution.  After one look in her mouth, he looked at me and said "have you seen this throat?"  I answered "yeah, that's why I'm here!"  He kept talking about how "hot" her throat was, which made me laugh.  A quick strep test and again "that's a hot throat."

Perhaps the harder part comes the next 24hrs--keeping Miss Rose semi-quarrantined.  The dr. says strep is very contagious and the impression I got was with the raging case she has, perhaps even more so.  Miss Rose is an oral child--lots of toys and her fingers are in her hands often.  And what 2yr old isn't oral?  So there is a lot of cross-contamination that goes on in our home, no matter how many reminders I give.  In fact, I'm quite concerned with with the exposure that's already occurred.  Can't change that now.

I must say, I'm rather impressed with my mommy instinct.  I try not to be a hypchondriac mother who takes her children to the doctor at every sniffle or cough.  It helps that I have to pay $15 every time we go in!  I hate to waste that $15.  Although Bean says it's never a waste, because better to know they are okay, instead of worrying.  But, 2 for 2 this week, knowing my children had some sort of infection going on and needed antibiotics.

I may open my own pre-screening clinic.  You can call or email me, tell me what's going on with your child, and I'll tell you (according to my very un-educated opinion) if you should take your child in.  For a small nominal fee.

Really though, I think I am going to work on a blog about what I've learned the past few years and what criteria I use to judge whether my kids need to go in or not.

Fancy Schmancy

I was very excited last week to come home to this big box!



My fabulous "Celebrity Bump Bag" prize from Modern Mom (via Jewels & Pinstripes). You can read about the contest I won here.



If you want links to the specific products, go here.

Here's my bits and pieces impressions of some of the stuff. If I were able to use everything, I'd feel quite fancy schmancy--definately like a celebrity! I'll try not to bore you with lots of details, just the basics!

Fisher Price Bouncer: LOVE IT! Seriously, fabulous. I've been using a Fisher Price bouncer from 2004, which I like, but my kids never were able to reach the toy bar, except with their feet because of it's design. And the toy bar was kind of clunky. This new bouncer has a toy bar that's totally reachable. Lily is already grabbing the toys with her hands and feet. And this bouncer is so light and easy to move around.

Peanut Shell Sling: Another new fave! It's very deep, which I like a lot. Lily feels very secure in it. A sling is not her favorite mode of babywearing, but when she's in the mood, she's happy in the Peanut Shell. I really like the gray/white/yellow color scheme too.

Peanut Shell Hospital Gown: This makes me want to have another baby! I looked into the designer hospital gowns when I had Lily, but they were too expensive. I realize that hospital gowns get messy and so a cute one isn't so practical, but I would seriously feel like a celebrity mom in the hospital wearing this. I just may hang onto it until we get our long term birth control figured out :)

Robeez: Had them before, love them. Super duper cute! The girl ones fit Lily right now and I think she'll be debuting them at church this Sunday. Bright pink Mary Janes with applique flowers. She'll be a fancy schmancy girl! My nephew, the Baby Bird, will get to look snazzy in the boy shoes.

Bamboo Swaddling Blanket: one of the softest things I've touched. Lily is beyond the swaddling stage, but I definately would have used this.

Angel Dear products: A super sweet white 2-piece newborn outfit. It's SO soft and precious. I would have loved to use it with Lily. But she's way past that size now and it's more appropriate for a fall/winter baby. Also a soft frog rattle and some knit booties for a newborn. Lily is learning to play with toys and the soft frog will be one she enjoys.

Born Free Bottles: BPA-free, why not? I'm using them and so far so good. My bottles were from when Miss Rose was a baby (although I've replaced the parts that deteriorate). I feel more green using them.

Baby Kaed diaper bag: Very posh! I love all the goodies that come inside it. Still haven't decided if I'm going to use it or not because it's rather wide--and I'm not one for super oversized bags or purses. It's very soft.

Snuggle Me'z: If I lived in a cold climate, this would be awesome! But it doesn't get cold enough in So Cal to need a bunting. I love the print though and it's very soft.

Moses Basket: Man, I always wanted one of these while preparing for a newborn. It just doesns't seem like there would be anything sweeter than a newborn baby in a Moses basket. Now that there is one in my house, I'm not sure how I would have used it. Maybe if I had a large home. However if I had a newborn in my house, I'm sure I would find a way to use it!

And my favorite item in the basket...



I know. Pretty silly! Such a small item. But I love it. Lily likes to grab blankets and hold onto them. Especially when she's trying to go to sleep. And with my obsession with all things red for her, this fits the bill. It's a great red with satin on one side and a soft velvety cotton on the other, with a cute duck attached. What's not to love?

I've actually been checking ebay and doing various Google searches trying to find a red "lovey" for her that wasn't made of a super heavy material. They are hard to come by. Everyone has pink and blue and various other colors. I really think there is a market out there for more variety in color of ALL baby items. Anyhow, I digress. This little lovey goes everywhere with us and is something Lily can actually hang on to and play with for short amounts of time.

Thanks Modern Mom!

Beginnings and Endings

Have you given much thought to how much of parenting consists of the balance between beginnings and endings? It struck me the other day. I think that perhaps the early years of children have more of these. It seems that nothing stays the same for long.

Right now...

Gracie is ready to begin potty-training and end diaper wearing

I am waiting for Lily to begin sleeping through the night

I hope to end swaddling Lily while she sleeps

Miss Rose is ending her first school experience and will begin actual Kindergarten in the fall.

I suppose it keeps life fresh. It truly is a never-ending cycle of starts and stops.

At times it can feel overwhelming and confusing as you, the parent, figures it all out. Sure, much of it happens naturally over time. But we also play active rolls in each process.

Being a parent is a big deal. It's a lot of work. It takes a lot of thought and effort.

And I love it.

Sunrise, Sunset

Do you remember the movie, Fiddler on the Roof? I'm sure we've all seen it or parts of it. Probably the most well-known song from the movie is "Sunrise, Sunset" where parents sing about their children who are now grown up and it seems like just yesterday they were little. I really only know one line from the song--actually just part of a song, "Is this the little girl I used to..." I don't know the rest.

But I look at Miss Rose and think--is this the little girl I used to dress cute and dream of her playing dolls and house just like I did? Granted yes--she's grown a lot in 5 years--she's Amazon Child, remember? She was only "little" for about 6 months!

What I didn't expect was for her to so whole-heartedly embrace a tomboy status. I'm the first to admit I'm NOT a girly-girl, nor do I treat my daughters that way. Sometimes I think maybe that's why God gave me daughters to raise. He knew I would raise them with balance, to be realistic and not over-emotional or dramatic. Or at least I would attempt to. I do "cute" but not frilly with my girls.

A friend at church yesterday commented that Gracie was so "girly" and Miss Rose was so "not"!

Somehow, Miss Rose has taken this to the extreme. Until she was about 4, I could pick out her clothes each day and her Sunday dresses. She didn't have much of an opinion. This past summer she developed an opinion. Shorts and tank tops are the wardrobe of choice...regardless of the weather. Miss Rose detests jeans. She'd much rather wear "comfy" pants with elastic waistbands.

Sundays are a HUGE fight in our house. I don't want to make her wear "church clothes" every week. I figure that would only make her fight me more and for longer. But I do insist upon nice clothes--not play clothes. Sometimes I commit the crime of insisting on jeans. (She has the CUTEST pair from the GAP outlet. I think it's a crime she won't wear them more often).

Oh, and don't even think about doing anything with her hair. Miss Rose has beautiful (albeit a bit crazy) long, curly hair. She consents to a daily spritzing of water and gel to calm it down. But again, barrettes and rubber bands are fuel for an argument. Although I do insist upon it once or twice a week. I've gotta remind her who is in charge, right?

I was a tomboy, partially because my brother was just 18 months younger and my constant playmate. I loved my baby dolls though! I would make my brother play baby dolls for a while, then I'd go outside and get dirty with him. Although I was a tomboy, I loved dressing up for church on Sundays. I do not remember being adamant about nothing girl like Miss Rose.

We must ask for the Boy Happy Meal at McD's. And any stickers or character band-aids or themed toys must be Spiderman or Batman. Bike helmet--black please. Her favorite pasttime lately--shooting dart shotguns with our 9-yr old neighbor. Thanks to her Uncle for getting her the dart double barrel shotgun for Christmas.

I know that she will grow out of it. Last summer she was wearing just her underware almost every day (that combined with her crazy hair = the "Mowgli" nickname bestoyed by one of her aunts) and now she is VERY private. So things do change. At least I have two other girls to dress cute for church. I have at least a good 3-4 years before ALL of them have their own opinions!

Cick photo to view slideshow!

Miss Rose!

No more guilt for Mama's

Can you tell I'm feeling better? I've been a blogging maniac!

You simply must read the poem on MckMama's site.

You won't feel so guilty about the dishes in your sink, the laundry to be folded or the floors to be cleaned.

I'm not feeling guilty about the hour and a half I've spent web-surfing, because LC was snuggled up against my waist laying on a pillow.

A Mommy Confession

No mommy is perfect. We all do our best and yet there are times we realize we didn't make quite the right decision. And times we don't do the "little things" like warm the baby's bottle or actually get the kids dressed! And times we know we should do something a little differently, but lack the motivation to change.

Today is my mommy confession! I'm sure I have a long list I could come up with but I'm going to keep it to the one thing bugging me right now.

My confession is...I have a slight addiction to "downtime" in the afternoon (on my days off) that involves the computer and the TV. I tend to go, go, go in the morning and when naptime hits...I'm ready for my own break. Being pregnant plays a big role in this too! Several weeks ago I was napping every afternoon I could, but my energy has returned some.

It was perfect when both the girls were taking afternoon naps. I'd get them down, clean up from lunch, maybe do one or two quick chores and then have "me" time. By the they woke up, I was refreshed and ready to turn back on.

But...Miss Rose doesn't take afternoon naps anymore. And she is one of those "screen kids." If the TV is on, she's paying attention to it, whether the show is of interest to her or not. Gracie on the other hand, doesn't care so much for TV and she would rather play with toys.

I've shared before how Miss Rose doesn't entertain herself so well. I confess I have NO idea how to keep her occupied in the afternoon and I feel guilty that she ends up watching A Baby Story or What Not To Wear with me. Sending her to her room to play by herself seems unfair just so I can have some downtime.

I feel guilty...but I can't wait until she's in school because she will be occupied for a good portion of the day and it will be easier to occupy her the rest of the day. Even if I wasn't wanting to sit and veg for an hour in the afternoon, I'd still have trouble occupying her while the baby sleeps.

Another aspect of the challenge is that she honestly is school-age already, just born a few months too late. If she was just two months younger she'd be in Kindergarten this year--and because she is a pretty intelligent kid--she does belong in Kindergarten already. Miss Rose has some learning activity books that she enjoys--but it's also shown me that a) It's a good thing I didn't go into teaching and b) It's a good thing I don't intend to homeschool. She gets easily frusterated with me when I try to explain how to do something correctly.

Two months and hopefully she'll be in a public school program every morning. If we don't get into that program...I think it will be time to find her a preschool program at least a few days a week.

But in the meantime...I confess...my 4.5yr old watches TV with me a few afternoons a week. I should get my lazy pregnant butt off the couch and be productive...but it just doesn't happen. And you know what, I've just come to accept it.

(p.s. as I write this, I'm watching What Not To Wear, and miracle of all miracles Miss Rose got bored, made a tent fort and is looking at her alphabet flashcards. She just read "bus". Maybe there is hope after all)

I wrestled a bear today

(this scene took place on Monday)

I wrestled a bear today....in the form of my 46-inch, 52-lb 4.5 year old. Yes, she's the average size of a 6-7 year old. How, I don't know. She has grandfathers and great grandfathers on both sides of the family that are 6 feet tall. Genetics are an amazing thing. Miss Rose seems to have some of the least likely genes exhibiting themselves in her. She is only 25% Hispanic, but her skin tone is pretty much the same as her dad, who is 50%. We are both vertically challenged as Bean likes to call it, yet she is tall.


Back to the bear wrestling. Miss Rose had her Kindergarten dr. appointment today in order to be able to enroll in a pre-K program through the school district in January. This involved a full physical and some shots.


Miss Rose has known for months that this day was coming before she started school. She has terrible anticipation anxiety. I know the anticipation is worse than what she experiences and hopefully as she gets old, she'll learn how to handle it better. I had anxiety too...as I knew this wouldn't be easy.


It wasn't a good sign when I was awoken this morning by wailing from Miss Rose's room, crying for Daddy and saying she didn't want to go to the doctor. Typically she wakes up cheerful and comes in my room. It took me a bit to calm her down and it was only 7:15am. I was thankful the appointment was 8:30 so we could just get it over with.


The appointment started okay. She completed the eye exam and the hearing test (which she remembered from her 3-yr appointment). Then the nurse requested a urine sample. My kid doesn't like to pee...ever. She protests each time we ask her to try before we leave the house or she goes to bed. She can hold it forever. Being that she had peed when she woke up, I knew it wasn't going to be easy for her to pee again.


In the past few months Miss Rose has developed a new sense of privacy. Earlier this summer, she spent many hot days just in her underware. But there has been a shift and she wants to be clothed and not risk others seeing her undressed. The idea of a urine sample, even though it was just me collecting it, was an invasion of her privacy.


Attempt #1 was a failure. Tears, protests and anger were involved. So I started pumping her with water while we waited for the dr. She handled the dr's portion of the exam quite well, until it came time for him to check her private parts. It was just a cursory glance basically, but I see why it's important. We explained it was okay because I was there, he was a doctor etc. It didn't fly. It took me a few minutes to get her to lay down on the table so I could be the one to pull her pants down and then I stood next to her for the 5 seconds it took the dr. to check. Again--many tears. I definately understood why that was so difficult for her.


Then came the waiting for the shots. Four of them to be exact, in addition to a TB test and a finger prick for anemia. It took a while for the nurse to come back and of course the anticipation anxiety just grew. Finally she came in and all hell broke loose. This was an angry amazon baby bear who wanted no part of what was about to happen.


It was evident right away that sitting on the table for the shots was not going to happen. Maybe if she was the size of a 4yr old it would have been easier to restrain her up there, but not this amazon child. Let me add, the crying has already begun and never let up. And of course, with a 4 year old, the crying is accompanied by many words of protest.


Picture me, sitting on a chair, pregnant belly and all, trying to hold and restrain my huge child through a procedure she wanted no part of. The finger prick was first and wasn't too bad. Then came the TB test and there was definate restrait of the arms necessary.


For the actual shots in her upper arms, the nurse asked me to lock Miss Rose's legs with mine and continue to hold her arms. She was FREAKING out. I was seriously wrestling a bear. In addition to keep her legs still, I had to hold both her arms and cover her eyes with one hand so she couldn't pull away when the needle came towards her. This kid has strength to go with her size. There was a few times I had to quit trying to control her arms and laugh saying "are you serious right now?" I was close to asking for another nurse to help me.

Finally we got through all the shots. There were a few times that Miss Rose saw the needle and said "oh no, we aren't doing that." As if she had a choice. At least some of her comments gave me reason to laugh through the wrestling match.

I might add, the nurse had to set the tray of shots on a stool next to her. Gracie was of course there and toddling around and quite interested in all of it. There were a few times I swore she was about to pick up one of the syringes. The needles weren't exposed, but still. I'm wrestling a bear, telling the other cub to not touch and go play. One cute moment was while Miss Rose was crying on the exam table about the personal exam, Gracie was trying to give Miss Rose her shoe. I guess Gracie was convinced her big sister was upset because her shoes were off.

After many threats and bribes, I finally got a urine sample right before we left. I told Miss Rose we only needed a little bit--not the whole cup. She eeked out like 3 drops and said "okay, I'm done. That's enough. You said just a little bit." Nice try kid. If you can get a few drops out--you can get a few teaspoons out, which she eventually did. We went to a store after the appointment and all of the sudden Miss Rose was about to pee her pants. I KNEW she had pee in there.

So I wrestled a bear today, and I won. Overall the appointment took 90 minutes. It looks like she won't need shots again until she's 7 and hopefully by then she'll be able to control herself. I will definately make sure Bean comes to Gracie's Kindergarten appointment and future vaccinations for older children. These bears of ours need a team to wrestle them.

Snippets...take 2

I tried publishing this on Friday...but thought it was lost in cyberspace. But when I checked today, the draft was there. So here goes.

The end of another week! I am always happy when Fridays come because it means a few full days with my kiddos. Maybe I'm nostalgic these days because our family will be changing, that is expanding, soon, and I just want to soak up all the time I have with my girls. Especially Miss Gracie since she will all of the sudden become a big girl once the baby arrives.


Gracie had her 18-month appointment this week. She's about 24lbs and 32.25 inches...pretty average, but a bit of a string bean, which explains why 12-18 month clothes are fitting perfect. Miss Rose was in at least 24 month clothes by this point, probably moving towards 2T. Poor baby needed 4 shots since I skipped the 15-month appointment. She got a bit of a fever that night, but wasn't nearly as sick as she has been after other vaccinations.


I realized this weekend it's time to switch Gracie's carseat. The infant seat she's been in only goes to 32 inches. Unfortunately, the convertible seat we have probably is too big to be rear facing in the CRV. I was hoping to keep her rear facing until the new baby comes, but I guess 18 months isn't bad. Maybe I'll get lucky and figure out how to keep her rear facing this weekend.

Miss Rose has a new line, "you ruined my life." Where did she come up with this one?? Is she 4 or 14? I immediately told her that was unacceptable to say and she could say she was "disappointed" or "upset." Maybe it's from the new shows on Disney she loves--Zack and Cody or Hannah Montana. Maybe I shouldn't be letting her watch these shows; but I am always watching them with her and while some of the content is over her head, it's not inappropriate.

Speaking of inappropriate, while I was gone last weekend Bean took Miss Rose to get a movie and Gracie was melting down so he pretty much grabbed the first thing he came upon. They came home with a Sponge Bob DVD, whom I really don't care for and find a bit crass and not age-appropriate. Here was my conversation with Bean...

"You really let her watch this?"

"Um, yeah."

"Well, did you watch it with her?"

"Of course."

"Was it appropriate for her?"

"Um, I thought it was funny."

"Really, a 32 year old man thought it was funny? That tells me it probably wasn't appropriate for a 4yr old."



Point proven!!

This job really should pay more

I actually had a good night's sleep last night. I was asleep by 10:30, didn't even get up to pee and woke around 7am on my own. Yes, it's been a long week as every week is these days--but it was Friday!! My day home with my kids.

It's the end of the day and I can't believe how exhausted I am. I mean, I guess I can--but it just doesn't feel like I should be. It was a rather routine day. Went for a run this morning, came home, did some cleaning and kid entertaining. Went to the grocery store. Baby took a nap, big sister watched a show and played some computer games while I relaxed a bit. I decided not to nap in hopes of sleeping well again tonight. Routine evening...play, dinner, dishes, play, nighttime stuff.

I think every CELL in my body is tired and every BONE in me aches. Granted I'm pregnant...and it was a long week...but come on now. Can you tell I don't have a lot of patience with myself? I've been plagued by another headache all day, which zaps my energy too--but I have to keep on keeping on.

What it boils down to is, being a mom is a tiring job. After the week of work, the girls are usually clamoring for my attention all day on Fridays. Miss Rose just wants to be near me, chatting, touching me. Gracie is often the same. I love my kids--but they have this amazing knack for sucking the life out of me. I mean that in the most loving, motherly way of course.

It is a good tired. I'd rather be tired from a day with my kids than from a day doing anything else. And I'm even a little more tired thinking about doing all this again tomorrow...including a soccer game, being the snack mom and a hubby who has to work all day.

Although this job definately should pay more, I would give anything to do it all day, everyday. Maybe someday.

Lost Keys

I committed the ultimate parent no-no this weekend. I let my children play with a set of keys. Not just any set of keys, but Bean's keys. Gracie loves keys lately and was pointing to our key rack saying "keys, keys" so I grabbed a set, handed them to her and she toddled off to the front door to try and get a key in the lock.



That was the last I thought of it. We were in the middle of getting ready to go out for dinner so that soon took precedence. Until this morning...when I got the dreaded text from Bean (who texts as rarely as he can, so I knew it was a big deal) that said "do you know where my work keys are."



Oops. Gracie often plays with our keys for a bit, but she either gives them back when she's done or we find them by the door. Not this time I guess. I began to panic a bit inside. Bean, um, doesn't handle these little hiccups of life so well. He likes things ordered and predictable. He is the more responsible parent who would never let his child play with keys, while I am more free-flowing--let kids be kids, if something is lost, it will be found.



I ran home and did a quick search when I could get away from church for a moment (we live in a house next to church property); Bean had taken Miss Rose for her soccer pictures. No keys.



When we got home from church I could tell things weren't good. I'm sure Bean had spent at least 30min searching for his keys--missing part of his precious "Opening Day" football.



Thank God for Miss Rose's great memory. I asked her about the keys and she said "yes, I put them in the white box I always play with. I was the bad guy stealing things." (yes, my 4yr old is obsessed with bad guys) We couldn't figure out what box she was talking about and looked all over again to no avail.



I had to leave again to head to an after-church lunch meeting. I was wracking my brain trying to think of where a 4yr old bad guy would stash her booty. On my way out the door, I opened our armoire on impulse. Voila! The white box (a storage container), with toys and keys inside. Praise be to Jesus!!!



I've learned my lesson. Bean wanted to lecture me, but I knew. A mistake I won't make again. Common sense says I shouldn't have done it in the firsts place, but I'm the free-flowing one when it comes to stuff like that. Next time I'll have to hand over MY keys!

The end of education TV??

Don't worry...I'm not announcing the end of it all together. I know many moms rely on educational TV to stimulate their little one's brain, while providing a bit of respite for mom.

Bean does little for himself--but one of his few indulgences is digital cable (he's a sports fanatic ) and this benefits the family because we have Sprout, which is PBS for preschoolers and Noggin, Nickelodeon for preschoolers.

I grew up watching very little TV. We didn't even own one until I was 9 and until my teen years, viewing was very limited. I don't even think I watched the Muppets or Sesame Street. (My youngest sister who is 10 years behind me, did watch all that stuff though) Before I had children, I intended to keep TV viewing at a minimum. I wanted my children to have an imagination and make up games and stories.

Fast forward to real life and a firstborn who requires much entertainment! I watched my niece full-time during Miss Rose's 1st year, so she had an almost constant playmate in her cousin and in me. Baby Einstein was often the only way I could take a shower without worrying about Miss Rose while she was an infant.

By the time she was 1, Disney shows for young ones were a regular in our home. We have never left children's programming on all day long--but I will say Miss Rose watched more of it than I ever expected or intended. But I loved the lessons taught on the Berenstein Bears and the instruments she learned about on Little Einsteins. I didn't feel too much guilt!

So now Miss Rose is quickly approaching 5 years old and I often think her intelligence (although not her maturity) is a few years beyond that. Lately she's been refusing the "preschool programming" in favor of Jon and Kate plus 8 (her new fave show) or other "older" kid shows.

I'm not ready though to venture into the grown up kid world. There are topcis and vocabulary on most of those shows I'm not interested in her viewing. I still want to protect her from what I deem as unacceptable for our home.

I know it's inevitable though. The transition has begun. I can't protect her too much and I need to take advantage of the teaching opportunties we may find. Come January she will hopefully be in a pre-K program in a public school and next September it's kindergarten. She has to be ready. Most kids her age are watching far more mature programming.

I will not be throwing caution to the wind. I'll still be offering the educational TV and learning what more mature shows are appropriate for her. And I suspect that as her schooling begins, TV time will be even more limited--which will work in my favor too!

They just grow up too fast.

Kidless Weekend

We had, what I am pretty sure was, our first kidless weekend since being parents of 2. We've both been away at various times, but one was always home with the kids. For the past 16 months, even when I left overnight, I brought the baby with me.

It was SO nice to be able to sit around and just do whatever we wanted! Bean and I took a group of college/young adult students to Big Bear this weekend. We rented this fabulous huge log house and just hung out all weekend. There were lots of stairs and balconies, so we'd have been chasing Gracie all around without a doubt. They played the wii a lot, which Miss Rose would have wanted in on, and whined until she got a turn.

The girls had a blast with their grandmas. They went to the Wild Animal Park with my mom and Chuck E Cheese with Bean's mom. I was expecting Gracie to be pretty clingy after we picked them up, but she wasn't bad at all. It's nice that they are close to the grandmas, so they feel very secure being with them.

Now we have begun our "staycation." No work! Just hanging out at home and around San Diego. I have lots of plans for organization and purging as well. We've lived in our house almost a year, and Gracie has outgrown a lot of "baby" stuff, so it's time to pack it away for a bit. Lots of other stuff has accumulated as well. My sister just left for her new home in Long Beach a few minutes ago, so we'll also be moving Miss Rose to her own room.

Here's to family time!!

Morning People

I am not one of them. But I am beginning to see the draw.

I've always enjoyed my sleep. I wasn't really a teenager or college that slept until noon, but if I had the chance--I'd sleep until 10am. Probably the thing that makes me most NOT a morning person is that I need time to wake up.

The second the alarm goes off, no matter what time it is, Bean pops up, is wide awake and ready to face the day. Miss Rose is like this too, for the most part. Me...I am a snoozer. I used to set my alarm early just to be able to snooze it a few times. I need my wake up time.

When Bean and I were first married we had a halogen lamp in our room, which was next to my side of the bed. He needed a little light to get ready with--but I made him turn it on the lowest setting possible, otherwise I got really grumpy! I made it clear that least amount of noise and light possible was a must.

Once I get a shower, or 20 minutes of gazing off into la-la land, I'm good to go. It's not so much about the amount of sleep I get or the time I have to wake up, it's about actually getting my brain and body to be awake. Even when the kids are up and bouncing around, I'm still moving around like a zombie. Miss Rose sometimes get frustrated with me because I don't remember what she asked for or am moving so slowly.

My sister has recently been insiring me to get up early. She's been on this fitness and health quest and has been waking up at 5am a few mornings a week to do an exercise DVD. Some days, she even goes running after work too. So, I've given it a try. It is difficult, especially on the days I work, to get to the lake with the kids to run in the evening.

I must admit...I saw the light on the dark side for a moment. It does feel really good to get a strong start to the day. To get a whole workout in before starting the day. It was nice to sit at my desk knowing I could lesiurely pick the kids up and head home for the night.

Growing up I remember my mom often being up before the rest of us (4 kids) to have quiet time with God or get started on household stuff. I couldn't imagine getting up so early, but now I see why she did it. It's one of the only times the house is quiet and I can work uninterrupted.

There is a chance that I will try to get up early a few days a week to get things done or to work out. But, I don't think I'll ever be able to consider myself a morning person. I still need my wake-up time. I can't wait until the kids learn to sleep in on a Saturday.

The Magic Number

My friends have ranging numbers of children. Some have decided their families are complete, others aren't sure or know they still want to add to their family. I know families of all girls and all boys and mixtures of genders.

With the availability of many different types of birth control, many families "choose" the size of their family. There are always those who get a little "surprise." A few friends have recieved this precious surprise due to hubby's lack speed in getting a particular procedure done, once the family size was decided on. Around me, it seems that many have settled on 2. A few ended up with 3 due to hubby's tardiness in getting a particular procedure done.

I strongly believe that God is in control of reproductive organs! If He so desires, God has a way of getting around all of our prevention. Conversely, I think there are times conception is delayed as a part of God's plan. And then there are those who struggle so greatly against fertility issues---none of which I believe are God's direct doing.

But--here's my question for today. How do you determine that "magic number?" And what if the magic number is different for husband than for wife?

I have this strong desire for another child. Growing up in a family of 4 kids, I always imagined myself with 4 or more kids. I loved having a lot of siblings and even as an adult, I still do. When we've faced various family difficulties, tragedies and challenges--the more shoulders to bear the burden, the better.

Bean would have been happy with just one child. A famous story in our life is that the night before my scheduled c-section with Miss Rose (#1) he mentioned that he had never seen himself as a father or having children. Not a good thing to tell your 39-week, hugely pregnant and highly hormonal wife! We decided to add to our family because we saw value in Miss Rose having a sibling. (I was willing to say anything to get that second baby!!)

I have many friends with two children who have decided their family is complete. There are a lot of pro's to two children. When the whole family is together, there's always a 1:1 ratio. He gets one, I get the other. We fit in basic cars/small SUV's. With two children of the same gender, we could even get by with a two-bedroom house. The list could go on.

But there is this desire deep down inside me for another child. I just can't imagine not having another one. It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl--at this point, I'd expect a third girl. I just want another baby, someday.

Bean and I have had many discussions about this. He looks at it from the practical, financial standpoint. The addition of another child would divide our ability to help with vehicles, college, weddings, by 3 instead of 2. However, I figured out my own way through 4 years of private college--and although I have student loans, it was well worth it. Bean and I pretty much paid for our own wedding. Neither were the end of the world and it all worked out. I DO want to provide my kid with the best I can, but I have to acknowledge that it's all in God's hands anyways.

A few months back we reached a compromise. My AMAZING hubby recognized the fact that while he will love a third child just as much as the first two, I would always feel an emptiness not having a third child. We both were willing to give up our sides, but I really appreciate his insight, because I think he is right. So, Lord willing, we will have a third child.

There are days though, I try to convince myself that my two are enough, that we are complete. I'm a bit envious of those who have reached this conclusion, because there are a lot of positives about stopping at two. I try to imagine our family, years down the road, with Miss Rose and Gracie. While I know life would be full and lovely, I still have the longing for more.

I guess I just have to trust God and the desire he's placed in my heart. There must be a child that he has predestined to be in this world, with us as his/her parents. My long-time favorite scripture verse is "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." I've always held to the fact that when you are delighting in him, the desires in your heart are his desires for you. So I suppose if I make sure I'm delighting in him, and the desire for another child remains--it's up to him to make it happen.

(and secretly, I'd LOVE for a third pregnancy to result in twins...then I'd get my 4 children and Bean would have to accept it as God's will!)

Poor Girl

Kids are so good at exaggerating and coming up with excuses. Earlier this year Miss Rose had her first episode of faking sickness in order to not go to preschool. I was having trouble distinguishing if she was being truthful or not, so I let her stay home with a babysitter. She was SO faking...confirmed by the sitter. She tried to pull the same thing several times not long after, but I didn't give in.

When kids complain of aches and pains, it can be really hard to distinguish fact from fiction. Miss Rose is notorious for certain ailments that only show themselves at bedtime. Such as the itchy place on her back that needs attention...only at 8:15pm for the last three nights. But oh, it itches so bad and needs cream or a wet cloth or Mama's scratching.

There has been no doubt in my mind these last several months that Miss Rose had a chronic nose issue. The girls passed a lot of sickness back and forth this winter, so it was easy to associate it as lingering effects. I had them both in to the doctor several times, usually diagnosed with viruses.

Gracie has miraculously been healthy for a few months now. But Miss Rose's nose continued to pour. I mean, the hugest snot rockets ever! All day long. A month or so ago, the doc thought she had a sinus infection--so she had a round of antibiotics. It did clear up some, but not completely.

Finally after rescheduling the appointment a few weeks ago on my supermom breakdown day (see earlier post!) we went in today. After waiting for over an hour in the room, a nurse poked her head in and said--have you been seen? Um, no! Have you been waiting long? Um, yeah. A medical assistant forgot to tell the dr. we were waiting and he had been in his office for 45min doing other work. He felt really bad, so I spared them my mom wrath.

Long story short...my suspicion was correct and the poor girl has allergies. He pointed out the dark circles under eyes and the dark line across her nose from it being blown so much and her pushing it up as she wiped it. He even had me look in her nose with the light/magnifier to see how swollen the little things are inside (yeah, can't remember the name now).

So--it's another round of antibiotics to clear up the congestion again, nasal spray, kids Claratin and some bloodwork to find out the culprits and make sure food isn't one.

My low moment was when he asked if she complained of headaches. Which she has been lately and I've been completely discounting them. I did give her tylenol once. Does that make me a little bit of a better mommy?

Bean has allergies and had them pretty bad as a kid, so I'm not too surprised. Eczema is part of the allergy family and Gracie has had that pretty badly, but I'm really hoping she doesn't end up with allergies too.

Of course my little sponge soaked in every word the Dr. said and every explaination I offered her in the car later. She then gave an almost verbatim description of the entire episode to her Grammie and then her dad. She's too smart for her own good.

When I grow up

Do we ever "grow up?" I kind of don't think so. We are continually on a journey, moving from phase to phase of life. Each phase requires development, but then we move on to the next phase. I see this as a positive thing. Being grown up in all areas of my life would be boring. It's good to always have something to be working towards.

Here's a mental list I've been keeping lately.

When I grow up...

1. I will have complete lighting in my home. Not rooms that require lamps, which are insufficient and don't work right (see #2).

2. I will have lamps that function. Lamps that have switches that work so that every night I don't have to lean over and wrench my back to plug in or unplug the stupid lamps, risking being electrocuted because they are perpetually on.

3. I will have matching bedroom furniture...that isn't from Ikea. (although I do love my Bombay Company Outlet bed) I won't have a 3-drawer Rubbermaid storage unit for a nightstand.

4. I will have a bedskirt. I don't need a fluffy frilly one. Just something that covers the box spring. In almost 7 years of marriage, our box spring has always shown.

5. I will have curtains or blinds on every window. I won't try to make my own curtains to save money and have a too-short, crooked hem curtain in the bathroom. (Bean tried to install some blinds in the kitchen...but about 2 buckets of sweat, a few curse words and a lot of plaster dust later...they were un-installable. Therefore, still naked window, through which the HOT bakes the kitchen.)

6. I will have high quality carpets. Not a cheaply made (didn't know this when we bought it) area rug which sheds individual carpet fibers no matter how many times it's vacuumed, that my 1 yr old insists on chewing like gum. She has at least 10 of these in her mouth daily. She never swallows them though. Maybe her body is lacking some nutrient or mineral found in the fiber. (note to self...multivitamin for Miss Gracie)

7. I will quit buying cheaply made things to save a buck. Yes, the Dollar Tree has some things that are a good deal. Apparently a sponge mop is not one. I should just give in and spend the $10 at Target for a normal one, which will probably last a year or more. The Dollar Tree ones last about 2 uses. I finally threw it away today (after 10 uses), to force myseslf to buy a new one.

8. I will CHOOSE to clean/organize my home above doing something for myself (like exercise or blogging or taking a nap).

9. I will quit being sarcastic with my 4 yr old. But, the things she says are so great I just can't help myself. (she's been acting as if I'm going to strike her when she spills or breaks something, which I have NEVER done. Spankings are very routine and regimented in our house. Finally the other day after she did it again I said--"what do you think I'm going to hit you or something? Have I ever hit you like that?" Mature. I know.)

10. Someday, when I grow up....I am sure I will still have more growing up to do.