thankful

I have many things to be thankful for.  Wonderful children, a great family, awesome friends.  Our house is in the midst of renovations that are mostly *free* (once we live here 10 years).  We have a brand new automatic garage door, a new pantry and cupboards and drawers and more to come.

But, I'm dedicating this Thanksgiving post to my husband.  For whom I am extraordinarily grateful.

Bean is an amazing husband.  He contributes so much to the family.  He makes dinner about half of the week.  And he always does the dishes because that's what he loves.  He does all the yardwork and landscaping.  He does a lot of household and children's laundry (I fold and put away).

I almost never have to get gas in the van.  Bean willingly does almost all of our store runs.  Even when it's 3 times in one day.  Because he'll go for one thing.  And then we'll realize we need something else.  And then I forget to have him get milk, so he goes one more time.  Luckily the grocery store is two short blocks away!

He is a great support to my ministry.  It's impossible to be in vocational ministry without the support of your spouse.  He always is on kid duty on Sundays.  Getting three girls to church isn't always the easiest thing.  Bean is a fantastic father.  The girls love him so much.  When we are driving home after work they always want to know if he's home already and when they see his car, it's like we arrived at Disneyland.

As a working mom, in a not always traditional job, I need the help and support of my husband so much.  I rely on his involvement.  It's one of the reasons I haven't had a nervous breakdown.  Bean talks me down when I'm on the edge.  He listens.  He prays.

I am so thankful for the husband God blessed me with.  He is everything I wanted, and so much more.  Sure we banter and bicker.  We get annoyed with each other.  But in the end, there is no one else we'd rather share this life with--the ups and the downs.

These are the words to the first song we ever danced to.  Bean catches me, every time.

can you sleep as the sound hits your ears, one at a time?
an unspoken balance here,
unabridged for so many years
that i should stare at receivers to receive her isn't fair
don't worry i'll catch you
don't ever worry
your arms in mine, anytime
i wouldn't trade anything
you're still my everything
to my surprise, before my eyes, you arrive
don't worry I'll catch you
don't ever worry
i'm still breaking old habits, habits when you pulled the wool over me
i can see everything, everything remembering "jinx removing"
don't worry i'll catch you

don't ever worry
no need for reminding... you're still all that matters to me

25:: 9 years ago yesterday

9 years ago yesterday, a boy invited me on a breakfast picnic. 

He insisted upon wearing bringing his backpack, for which I teased him.
He disappeared to the bathroom for ten minutes, wearing his backback, for which I teased him even more.

We ate muffins and donuts.  I drank coffee, he drank juice.

Then he opened his backpack and pulled out a photo album that chronicled the 7 months of our dating relationship.

I was so touched.  I asked "when did you take that photo with my parents?"  I honestly, was clueless.

And then, I turned the page, and saw this picture.

I looked to my love, mouth wide open.  Saying, "what is this?"  My heart saying, "oh yes, please let it be."

And since we were sitting, he got up, to get down on his knee, and asked me to marry him.  I wish I remembered every word he said.  All I remember is the pure joy, that this man, the man after my own heart, the man who had stolen my heart, who was the answer to all of my prayers, was pulling a ring from his pocket.  A beautiful ring.  A ring I would have chosen for myself, yet he chose it all on his own.

Our joy was so complete. 

And in the distance, the noise of a camera got louder and louder.  And I thought to myself, what tourist is taking so many photos and why are they so close to us?

I finally looked, and it was Bean's best friend.  The reason for the ten-minute visit to the bathroom.   A photo documentary of this most special day.

So young, and fresh-faced.  (Clearly I had not yet learned the importance of filling in my eyebrows.)

What a beautiful life sat ahead of us then.  A life together.  And what a beautiful life we lead, and that lays before us yet.

7 Reasons for 7 Years

Our Engagement
Today is our 7 year anniversary! I loved everything about our wedding day. There is very little I would change--except for that the tragedy of 9-11 had just occurred and there were special people who weren't able to travel to be at our wedding.

So, here are 7 reasons why I love my husband, in honor of our 7 year anniversary.

1. His sacrificial love for his family. The guy could be dead tired and if I need something or ask him to do a task or run an errand, he does it with no complaining. There is no doubt that he always puts me and his children first.

2. He loves me for me. Sure, it sounds a bit cliche, but it's the truth. I realize that I am a quirky individual. I can be quite a conundrum. I am independent, but I have a great need for quality time. I usually prefer to do things on my own, but I still like the offer for help. These sorts of things can be frusterating, but Bean just laughs at me and loves me in spite of myself.

3. He has fully embraced my family. We are incredibly close to both sides of our family. Over the 7 years of our marriage, Bean has been called upon to make sacrifices, and join me in being there for my family. We shared a house with my parents (including disabled father) for about 3 years. It was a blessing to us--but of course there were challenges-- (for my parents too!!). My sister lived with us for almost a year and Bean just called her his oldest daughter. My family can invade our home at anytime (and I love it when they do) and he just kicks back and laughs at our antics.

4. He is a great father. I know that Bean had some trepidation about fatherhood as he didn't have the best example set for him. But he is the best dad. He plays with the kids, he is always willing to help and hold, he makes up special traditions and games with them. Both of the girls love him. In fact, Gracie is especially infatuated with Daddy lately and asks me about 20 times a day where he is.

5. He is my best friend. Neither of us are huge "pour out my heart" kind of people...but when we need that, we are there for each other. There is no one I enjoy hanging out with more or doing stuff with. He makes me laugh like no one else.

6. We have a great love life. Enough said :)

7. He's Mexican...but not really. For some reason I've always had a thing for Latino men. Most of the guys I've liked have been Latino--from high school through college. Other than Bean, my one serious long-term relationship was with a Latino. Not that I wouldn't have married him if he wasn't Latino, but it was icing on the cake, and definately made the attraction almost instant. What's funny is that since he wasn't raised with that part of his family (he's half caucasian) there isn't much culterally Mexican about him. In fact, he's never even been across the border. With all my missions trips to Mexico and even speaking Spanish pretty well, I'm a much better Latina than him!

I'm looking forward to many more years of happy marriage with this love of my life!

Our Wedding Day!

Why My Husband is so Great

Bean has been bugging me for this blog for a few months now. It's coming babe...I promise. Just not tonight.

The Magic Number

My friends have ranging numbers of children. Some have decided their families are complete, others aren't sure or know they still want to add to their family. I know families of all girls and all boys and mixtures of genders.

With the availability of many different types of birth control, many families "choose" the size of their family. There are always those who get a little "surprise." A few friends have recieved this precious surprise due to hubby's lack speed in getting a particular procedure done, once the family size was decided on. Around me, it seems that many have settled on 2. A few ended up with 3 due to hubby's tardiness in getting a particular procedure done.

I strongly believe that God is in control of reproductive organs! If He so desires, God has a way of getting around all of our prevention. Conversely, I think there are times conception is delayed as a part of God's plan. And then there are those who struggle so greatly against fertility issues---none of which I believe are God's direct doing.

But--here's my question for today. How do you determine that "magic number?" And what if the magic number is different for husband than for wife?

I have this strong desire for another child. Growing up in a family of 4 kids, I always imagined myself with 4 or more kids. I loved having a lot of siblings and even as an adult, I still do. When we've faced various family difficulties, tragedies and challenges--the more shoulders to bear the burden, the better.

Bean would have been happy with just one child. A famous story in our life is that the night before my scheduled c-section with Miss Rose (#1) he mentioned that he had never seen himself as a father or having children. Not a good thing to tell your 39-week, hugely pregnant and highly hormonal wife! We decided to add to our family because we saw value in Miss Rose having a sibling. (I was willing to say anything to get that second baby!!)

I have many friends with two children who have decided their family is complete. There are a lot of pro's to two children. When the whole family is together, there's always a 1:1 ratio. He gets one, I get the other. We fit in basic cars/small SUV's. With two children of the same gender, we could even get by with a two-bedroom house. The list could go on.

But there is this desire deep down inside me for another child. I just can't imagine not having another one. It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl--at this point, I'd expect a third girl. I just want another baby, someday.

Bean and I have had many discussions about this. He looks at it from the practical, financial standpoint. The addition of another child would divide our ability to help with vehicles, college, weddings, by 3 instead of 2. However, I figured out my own way through 4 years of private college--and although I have student loans, it was well worth it. Bean and I pretty much paid for our own wedding. Neither were the end of the world and it all worked out. I DO want to provide my kid with the best I can, but I have to acknowledge that it's all in God's hands anyways.

A few months back we reached a compromise. My AMAZING hubby recognized the fact that while he will love a third child just as much as the first two, I would always feel an emptiness not having a third child. We both were willing to give up our sides, but I really appreciate his insight, because I think he is right. So, Lord willing, we will have a third child.

There are days though, I try to convince myself that my two are enough, that we are complete. I'm a bit envious of those who have reached this conclusion, because there are a lot of positives about stopping at two. I try to imagine our family, years down the road, with Miss Rose and Gracie. While I know life would be full and lovely, I still have the longing for more.

I guess I just have to trust God and the desire he's placed in my heart. There must be a child that he has predestined to be in this world, with us as his/her parents. My long-time favorite scripture verse is "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." I've always held to the fact that when you are delighting in him, the desires in your heart are his desires for you. So I suppose if I make sure I'm delighting in him, and the desire for another child remains--it's up to him to make it happen.

(and secretly, I'd LOVE for a third pregnancy to result in twins...then I'd get my 4 children and Bean would have to accept it as God's will!)

Tag, You're It

Some weekends are like a game of tag in our house. This seems to be one of them. I'm sure we're not the only ones.

8:30am--hubby and I go to church breakfast together
9:30am-tag hubby to take the girls home and give the baby a nap
10:20-i get home
10:30-tag corrina to go the grocery store
11:30-tag hubby to go car shopping with my sister
3pm-tag corrina to go to costco for all church baby shower supplies
5pm-tag hubby to worship practice

Maybe by 8 pm we'll get to hang out! The kids will be in bed. But we'll be exhausted!!! And Sundays in our house aren't much better.

I keep reminding myself, it's just a period of time in life. It won't always be like this. Roger won't always be working a second job, our children won't always be so small and require so much attention.

However--we have 2 offers from girls who want to come watch the kids while we go out! That's 2 dates :) And one offer even came with movie passes. Now to find a day or night we can do it :)

TAG!