on my mind

I am so thrilled to NOT have to take Miss Rose to school in the morning.  Yay for Friday holidays.  I'm looking forward to a great long weekend full of friends and family time.

Am I the only woman who experiences "phantom pregnancies" on a regular basis?  There are absolutely no biological signs to indicate I am pregnant.  In fact, much the opposite.  But, after getting pregnant unexpectedly AND having one cycle at the beginning of said pregnancy (before I knew I was pregnant), my brain is always on overdrive.   Nausea, fatigue, bloating, frequent urination.  All freak me out.  I really hope the further away I get from having been pregnant, these phantom pregnancies will go away.   Because like clockwork, I have proof I'm not.  But there was that one time I was like clockwork...and I was pregnant...  That is what messes me up.

I'm thinking about declaring March a no-sugar month.  That may be the next step in my journey.  To avoid processed sugar.  There are no major holidays in March, and only one family birthday.  I think I might be able to handle it.  After trying some clothes on in Target tonight, I'm more motivated to get rid of this "baby belly" I have.

I want to find a half marathon to register for in May or June.  I need that challenge and motivation to keep running regularly.

Why have I not been successful in teaching my almost 3yr old to go to the bathroom on her own and wipe herself.  Every time I have to take her. Often she refuses to pull her own underpants down.  Since she wears a dress every day I have to tuck in her collar so it doesn't go into the toilet.  I don't remember a big ordeal teaching Miss Rose to use the bathroom independantly.  She's almost three, isn't it time?

After looking at some images online, I'm pretty sure Lily has a slight case of oral thrush.  My babies have never had that before.  Now I'm going to have to look up what to do about it.  I wonder what caused it.

When I am going to stop wanting another baby?  Is that just part of being a woman?  Within a few months, our baby-making days will be over, unless God drastically intervenes.  Which he can do.  Which is why I'm okay with this decision.  I know three children is good for us, our home, our life.  It makes sense to stop now.  I also know, that if for some reason God does desire us to have another child, he'll bring it about one way or another.  Many are the plans in a man's heart, but the Lord's purposes prevail.  I just want that desire to go away!  I'm happy and content and fulfilled with my family.  Yet I get newborn envy, and belly envy.

I still haven't started recording anything in Lily's baby book.  I really need to get on that.

It's past 11pm.  Why am I not tired?  Maybe it's the 3+ cups of coffee I had today.  Although the last one was 10 hours ago.

I need to try to go to sleep.

**an update**
I'm still not sleeping.  And forgot one other thing on my mind.

I really hope Lily decides to crawl or at least scoot in the next 2 weeks.  Her "1 yr" appointment is March 1.  But she'll really be 13 months.  As of now, she still doesn't crawl.  I honestly don't observe any reason for concern.  Her movement development is on track, just several months behind.  She scoots around a bit on her rear end now.  She tries to get moving with one leg behind her and almost rocking up onto the front leg.  Part of the problem is she still hates her belly.  I try to put her on it, but she just screams, until I pick her up or her highness decides to roll over.  The only cause for concern is that she isn't crawling.  Everything else about her seems normal.  I hope my gut instinct is correct.