It's April 1st in New York

I ate a big bowl of ice cream at 9:15pm tonight.

Because in New York, it was past midnight, and thus April 1st.

Which means my own version of March Madness is over.

Is that cheating?  I think it's just smart!  And man was that ice cream good!!  Let me tell you, this has been one LONG month.  Have I been perfect in my quest to not eat sugar?  Not quite as perfect as I could have been.  But for the most part, I did it.  I learned some good things, which I plan to share in a blog soon.  Not enough energy to put my thoughts together tonight.

I blogged almost every day for a month.  Which was more of a feat than I expected, keeping up with my family and my job and finding time and wit to blog. 

With Gracie's 3rd birthday, Easter and a business trip coming up, it's a good thing I don't need to try to blog daily any longer.  Life is coming at me fast these days, but so far I'm keeping up. 

Tomorrow we're having a jammie morning.  No school, no work, no morning drop off's.  Just mama and her girls.  This is what I live for, what I look forward to.  I love being a mom.

7:: weekly wrap up

Today marks my seventh day not eating sugary treats.  That phrase sounds somewhat juvenile to me for some reason.  But it is what it is.

I'm proud of myself for the accomplishments this week.  It's a pretty big deal for me to have not grabbed a piece of candy from the office, a baked goodie from the store, or shared some ice cream with Bean at night.  I don't know if I've actually gone this long without such treats.  Certainly I've counted calories and points--but I typically save points for my favorite goodies in small portions.

This month is going to be good for me.  I need it.  However, it's going to be a long month.  It's become much easier to resist the sugar I eat without thinking during the course of the day.  It's harder though when it's dessert after dinner.  Or, "everyone else is having some."

In fact, I may have fallen off the wagon for a short time yesterday.  It was the end of a long (albeit good) day, we ate pizza with friends and there were divine cake leftovers from an event.  I had previously resisted temptation at the event, but I guess it caught up with me.  At least I only ate one piece I guess.  I've dusted myself off, and hopped back on the wagon.

Bean.  Well, he's another story.  Yes dear, I'm calling you out.  At the start of the week I asked for his support and accountability and even invited him to join me in trying to eat better.  The stinker has tried to get me to "cheat" every day!  Sometimes more than once.  He's had a sweet tooth and wants an accomplice.  He was holding a hand up to the wagon inviting me to jump off last night.  (still love you babe!)

Three more Sundays until I can have my Sunday morning donut.  Or maybe, I'll become more empowered and not choose a donut as part of my Sunday morning breakfast routine. 

Week 2, coming up.  My main goal this week was obviously--no sugary treats.  This next week I think I'm going to work on counting calories or points and eating more vegetables.  I love Weight Watchers while breastfeeding and losing weight, but for some reason once my babies are one, I don't enjoy it as much.  So I'm not sure what I'll do to track my food.  I always struggle figuring out how many calories to eat also---seems like every site says something different.  And I am still nursing 2-3x a day, so I still need some extra calories for that.

It's been interesting making a point to blog every day, or at least schedule a post.  Thankfully, there's always photos when in need!

5:: not gonna lie

Today has probably been the most difficult so far, this not eating sugary treats thing.  I could definitely use one or five right now.

The baby is teething, so she's ben clingy and fussy much of today.  She needs pain reliever, mama wants chocolate.

I powered through four errands today in about 90 minutes today, with the1yr old and 3yr old in tow.  It actually went pretty smoothly.  Especially after I found blessed Tylenol in the diaper bag for the teething baby.  No matter how well errands and children go, one is still tired.  And could use say a candy bar or even some dry fruit loops in celebration.

Getting dinner ready with cranky kids and a teething baby?  Sure helps to snack on some sweet treats while doing preparations.

But oh no, not for me, not this month.

Sigh. 

I keep telling myself just one after dinner treat won't hurt.  And realistically, it wouldn't.  On a day that I've eaten well (like today) and gotten in a little exercise even, a reasonable dessert is acceptable.  But the problem is, my typical pattern would have been to already have eaten several sugary treats (see scenarios above) and would still have one while relaxing before bed.  That's the cycle I'm trying to break. 

Maybe I should have made it "one dessert a day" month.  But no, I had to go the hard route, and say no desserts.  I know that's the better way though, to really rid myself of this bad habit.  For the most part, I'm doing it. 

Bean is a terrible accountability partner and in my early morning delirium yesterday got me to agree to a Starbucks drink he wanted to go get me before work.  The heavy dose of caffeine was what I wanted most, but the amount of sugar probably defined it as a treat.  But come on, how do you turn down the handsome face who wants to go get you a coffee at 6:30am in the morning?  You can't hurt the guy's feelings by turning down such a sweet gesture.

I just drank my second cup of Market Spice Tea and had some popcorn.  Hopefully I can get through the rest of the night without being too miserable.  I can always microwave an apple with some cinnamon.  Or I'll just go to bed early.

Not gonna lie, the next 26 days feel like they are going to be really long.

3:: Secret Weapon

One of my favorite movies is The Princess Bride.  Who doesn't have that on their top list?  So many great lines in that movie.

One of mine is "re-wease the secwet weapon."  Remember that one?  Really it's "release the secret weapon."  But it's so much more fun to think it in the original voice and pronunciation.

I have a secret diet weapon.  A secret weapon that helps so much when avoiding sugar and calories.

The best part?

It's natural.

It's sweet.

It's spicy.

It's calorie-free.

Intrigued?

Here it is.

Market Spice Tea.

Honestly, it's amazing.

It's a product from my childhood.
We lived in Washington state until age 9.  From the time I can remember, my mom always drank this sweet and spicy tea that we got to have occasionally.

When we moved to California, several times friends came to visit from Washington and brought some or mailed it to us.  One of my best friends in college was from Washington and she became my supplier! 
Even now, when her mom visits I often have her bring me a few boxes.
Then I discovered you can order it online.

When you have a cup of this tea, you will not believe that it's unsweetened.  It absolutely tastes like it contains sugar.  It tastes like the best sweet tea you've ever had--with a bit of spice.  I have made it into iced tea before, but usually I drink it hot.

I buy it in a bag of 50 teabags.  And I buy 100 teabags at a time.  With shipping it's about 60cents per cup.  A lot less than your favorite Starbucks drink, even if it's more than a cup of tea from your local grocery store.

Acouple things you need to know about this tea.

1.  Make sure you purchase the cinnamon-orange flavor.  The company actually sells many different varieties of tea.

2.  Store it in the original bag, in an airtight glass jar.  The tea contains a lot of natural oils that are required for flavor and will leech into any sort of plastic.

3.  You can buy a decaf variety.  I've found that sometimes the decaf doesn't have the same strength of flavor.  But if you use a bit less water, this can be remedied.  Once, I sent a box of decaf back without problem, because the flavor was so weak and they replaced it.

4.  You have to decide how strong you like the tea and figure out the right amount of water.  I find early on in my bag of tea, I can use pretty large mugs of water and have strong flavor.  After it's been open for a while, sometimes I have to use smaller mugs. 

5.  Use piping hot water!  And for the best results, put your tea in a travel mug with a lid or cover your mug with a small ceramic plate and let it steep for 5-7min.  This gives the strongest flavor.

I'm bummed I finished off my mug of tea while writing this.  I want more!!

I'm drinking two mugs a day right now!  It hits the spot.  Plus, very soon, we'll be into warmer weather that will last many months and for me hot weather and hot tea don't mix. 

Go right now and order some!

I was not compensated or sponsored for this post.  But if anyone wants to me review their item, contact me and I'd be happy to!

1:: Weighing In

Yes, I am posting on this first day of my self-imposed March Madness.  I'm in Pacific Standard Time, so it's just 9:30pm here.

I am fairly certain that this March is going to make me mad, that is crazy, because there is so much going on.  Miss Rose is in T-ball.  There are two practices this week and then games start next week.  I think the standard will be one practice per week and games on Mondays and Saturdays.  Add that with me having rehearsals for our church Easter production on Mondays and Wednesdays, and then a few Saturdays at the end of the month.  Oh, and I have three kids, a husband and a job. 

What was I thinking?  Apparently, I wasn't.  Well, we'll get through it.  All of the obligations are good ones, it just means we have to have all of our ducks in a row each day.  Perhaps it's a good thing that we've downgraded our cable to save a little money.  We no longer can record shows and only have a few high-def channels.  It's been a week now, and honestly, I don't miss it much.  I'm behind on "my shows" and haven't seen the latest reality shows, but in the end, they really have no bearing on my life.  They are just entertainment. 

Oh, and my last "99 Things" post, apparently some of the changes I made didn't save.  I think I've corrected it now.  No, I do not have a child named Sam nor have I been to Paris.  I HAVE babysat for Jerry Lewis though, and I'll share about that later this week.

I've debated whether or not I wanted to track my weight this month, with giving up sugary treats and generally trying to eat healthier.  While weight is a good gauge and checkpoint, it can also be a roadblock.  Sometimes the scale doesn't move when you expect it too.  It's too easy for a "bad" number on the scale to set the tone for your day. 

I happen to be a little too in tune with my body.  I know when I gain and lose weight pretty easily.  I can tell by how I feel, the size of the rolls on my stomach, the tone of my legs, the fit of my clothes.  I kind of wish I wasn't so aware of those things.  Is it a female thing?  Are all women so aware of their bodies?

So I will not be weighing in.  This isn't about a number on the scale.  It's about my health and sugar not controlling me.  I may weigh myself in a few weeks, I may not.  We'll see.

How was my first day?  Not so bad.

I drank tea this morning instead of my coffee and creamer.  There may be some mornings I choose to use artificial sweetener and drink coffee, but I don't want to make it a standard.  In fact, my tea is my secret weapon.  More on that tomorrow.

Wouldn't you know there was a box of donuts at work this morning!  I don't remember the last time someone brought donuts in.  But I was strong and resisted.  Thanks in part to Twitter.  It's amazing what instant accountabilty it is.  You tweet about avoiding the donuts, a few encouraging tweets come back, and it helps keep you from backtracking to the breakroom for a sugary treat.

I definitely felt the lack of sugar in the early afternoon.  I could have laid on my office floor and fell asleep.  I'm a sucker for an after lunch treat.  In fact, I got a sandwich today for lunch, and a cookie came in the box--and I threw it away without a second glance.

It helped that tonight was a busy and I had to leave for rehearsal shortly after practice.  No huge temptations while cuddling on the couch with the hubs.  Another secret weapon--which I shall share tonight--is Medjool dates.  I happen to really like them--and naturally they are very sweet.  I have a large tub of them in the fridge and they do hit the spot when you need something sweet.  I had a few tonight after dinner.

With work and rehearsal, no exercise happened today.  I may try to Shred tomorrow after the kids are in bed. 

So, that's the first of my March Madness.

on food, food and more food

So, I have issues with food.  Huge issues, perhaps not.  But issues nonetheless.  I love food.  I don't usually binge eat.  I just eat too many small amounts of food.  Yes, I'm one who goes back to the cupboard for another cookie, then another and a while later, another.  After I already ate two servings in the first place.

Food issues certainly seem to run in families.  At least they do in mine.  My mom struggled with her weight a lot of her life.  However, the older she got, the slimmer she got.  Now at almost 60, she's pretty slim.  We've thought that maybe hormones play a part in it.  My dad also struggled with weight from his 30's.  In fact, his struggle was a huge contributer to having a stroke at 47 and now being a hemi-plegic. 

Emotional eating is huge in my family.  So is late night eating.  I think late night was when my dad consumed most of his calories.  Eating for comfort, oh yes.  A rough day?  Kids misbehaving?  I just want sugar.  And carbs.  And Diet Coke.  No calories there, but not good for me nonetheless.

From puberty on, I wasn't fat, but I wasn't slim either.  I changed schools a lot, so I never got involved in sports.  I was plump I suppose.  I wasn't too self-conscious about it.  A few times I remember "dieting" and losing a few pounds, but nothing significant.  When I look back at photos of my high school and college years, I don't remember feeling as chubby as I looked. 

Over the past 10 years or so, I've learned a lot about my body and about eating.  It actually took having my first baby to lose a significant amount of weight (much of which I gained while pregnant!) and go below (*gasp, I'm going to say it) 150 and stay there.  Love Weight Watchers, the way.  I was not the norm, and I was at a personal low at the start of my next two pregnancies, gained less and less with each and lost it all plus a few. 

I'm very happy with what I've learned.  I'm proud of myself, because it's a lot of work.  I appreciate the encouragement when people comment that I don't look like I've had three children (um, if they saw my stomach--they'd know!).  I am confident I have the right tools to continue on this path and lead a healthy life.

But...I still have food issues.  I eat for comfort.  I like eating in the evening after dinner.  I go back again and again.  I am addicted to sugar.  And because of my family history, because I am raising three daughters, I need to continue my journey.  I am not pleased that I constantly go up and down 5 pounds.  And it's completely tied to my eating.  Because it usually happens within a few weeks, when I've been eating poorly and too much.

I've been at my pre-pregnancy weight with Lily, but I keep going back up a few.  And in fact, my goal has been to hit a bit lower than that weight.  Because I got pregnant when Gracie was just a year old, losing the additional weight was postponed.  I certainly don't want to be a twig, but I do want to be slim and toned.

I'm tired of fighting with food.  I'm tired of fighting with myself.  I want to win this battle once and for all.  I want to enjoy food for the nourishment it brings, and yes for the flavors and even the sugar rush.  But in a balanced manner.  It's so crucial to me to set a good example for my daughters.  Miss Rose loves sugar just like I do, and although proportional, she's always been big for her age.  I want to set her up well to have a healthy relationship with food.

When it comes to our outward appearance, one of the few things we have control of is our body.  (I do realize there are medical issues that sometimes take away this control.)  Every girl wants good self-esteem.  Yes, the inward is much more important than the outward.  But often the two are related.  That is a whole other subject though. 

I want to like myself.  To feel confident.  There are some things I can't control, like the size of my nose, the texture of my hair, the ways motherhood has affected those pregnancy and mothering parts of my body.  But I can control the shape of my muscles, my weight, and the tone of my body.  No, it's not about a number or a size.  But those are helpful measurements.

Do you get the feeling I'm working up to something?  You're right, I am.  I'm going to challenge myself to make some changes.  Do you need to do the same thing?  Perhaps we can do it together.  Or, I'm perfectly happy with you reading along as I journey. 

Tomorrow, my relationship with physical activity. 

It's a sign

I just broke one of my favorite dishes.

When I opened the gift at my bridal shower I thought, hmmm...not something I registered for, but cute.  It was four small rice bowls.  They turned out to be one of my favorite things.   Great for portion control with desserts.  Perfect for mixing babyfood and cereal.  And about a million other things.

I started out with four and now eight years later, I had two left.

Until tonight.  All because I was reaching for another Oreo.  Seriously.

I had the bowl overturned on my cup of tea (they also make great makeshift lids to keep steeping tea hot).  Instead of using caution to balance it, I reached across all the crud that is on my kitchen floor and has no permanant place, and as I struggled to get the Oreo package open--CRASH--only one bowl left.

I need to step away from the Oreos.  Normally we don't have Oreos in the house.  Just five minutes prior, this was the conversation.

Me: Next time you want to buy a treat for the kids, buy a single serving of Oreos, not the huge package.

Him: They were on sale.  The big package was like fifty cents cheaper than the small one.

Me: Yeah, but then we don't end up eating so many

Him: Well, I've only had six.

Me: Um, I've had a lot more than that.

Seriously, put down the Oreos and step away from the kitchen.

I weighed myself a few days ago.  I wasn't happy with the results.  I had lost a pound or two.

You're thinking, huh?  Isn't losing weight good?

Well, yeah,  it is.  But I've been pretty lax in my eating and exercise is slim to none.  I wanted to see an increase on the scale to motivate me to make some changes and lose this baby-belly-muffin-top.

I think breaking my dish because I was reaching for an Oreo might have done the trick.

Plus I read this blog tonight and identified with so many parts of it.  Except I have one more child, and my husband doesn't work quite such long hours.  BUT, I was inspired by her wake-up time and morning routine.  I think it's time.

Favorite Things: Brownies

It's been a LONG time since I blogged about one of my favorite things.

I LOVE brownies. Especially the ooey-gooey ones. Bean is a fabulous brownie-baker. He always knows the right moment to pull them out of the oven. They are slightly underdone, but continue cooking with the heat of the pan as they sit out. Duncan Hines and Ghiradelli are my favorite brands.

But right now, eating brownies is counteractive to my quest to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. Bean and I can seriously finish 1/3 of a pan of brownies in one sitting.

That's why I am SO thankful for NO PUDGE BROWNIES. When I am in need of something sweet, I can make a single serving for just 110 calories. If I have enough Weight Watchers points left, I might make 1.5 or 2 servings. And sometimes I throw a small handful of chocolate chips in to make it a bit more gooey. Even with these changes, the amount of calories I'm consuming is considerably less than eating brownies with Bean.

I purchase mine at Henry's usually. Although I'm pretty sure some grocery stores and maybe Trader Joe's carry them as well. Just make sure you pick up some fat free vanilla yogurt too as that's what the recipe calls for. Sounds weird I know, but it works.

Happy brownie eating!

What's Your Vice?

We all have vices. Some are harmless, some not so much.

I've blogged before about my diet coke addiction! I definately cut back during my pregnancy, but I didn't cut it out completely. The same holds true right now while I'm breastfeeding. I haven't noticed much of an effect on LC when I drink a soda, so I've been indulging a bit.

However I was recently challenged by my friend Jewels to give it up, once again. Well, she blogged about the potential ill effects of diet soda, and called me out anonymously as a fellow addict--so I offered to give it up if she would. And she's taken me up on the offer! I always do better with this kind of thing with accountability, so I trust we'll be successful.

One of the things she commented on was that there is some research indicating that artificial sweeteners (which diet soda is loaded with) actually make you crave sugar. I must say, I do think its true. I'm hoping that if I give up Diet Coke, I'll crave less sweets! I am pretty sure this is in the You On a Diet book (which my friend here is reading, and I need to read again!)

On the occasions that I have wanted and tried to quit drinking Diet Coke, one of the difficulties was that Bean is an avid drinker as well! When we got married he was a Dr. Pepper addict, but he switched to Diet Coke in an effort to cut back on calories. BUT....a few days ago he decided to quit drinking it for a while too. We think he may have some reflux or digestive stuff going on, and soda definately aggrevates it.

So, what's your vice? Want to give it up with Jewels and I? We're starting Monday. Even if you read this after Monday, you can still pick a start date and join the fun!

And I'll tell you what's not fun...LC has been super colicky the last few nights. It took us almost 2 hours to settle her last night. Just when she would start to fall asleep, her little body would stiffen and she'd cry out in pain. Eventually we'd get her to burp or spit up and she'd be better. So I'm thinking it might be an issue with my diet. Miss Rose was sensitive to dairy, so maybe LC is too. I just bought a yummy pint of Ben and Jerry's last night and haven't tasted it yet. Looks like it's going to have to wait a few days while I cut dairy out of my diet and see if that helps LC. Life is just better with ice cream though!

So far so good

So, January is close to being over. Let's see how I'm doing on those resolutions.

-I am eating pretty healthy and exercising. Haven't gotten to the toning part yet though.

-we are breaking the TV addiction and Miss Rose is doing pretty well with it. Her new thing is pbskids.org so I have to be sure to monitor total "screen time."

-I'm doing 50% with planning meals

-doing better with cleaning, organizing etc. I could always do better though.

I've been focusing on speaking more seriously with Miss Rose and not raising my voice. I think I'm seeing some results with it. She is understanding that I mean business and she is expected to obey. Hopefully over time it will result in better behavior and following through the first time!

Here's the rest of 08.

The New Year

It's a new year. It's been a while since I made new year's resolutions. It just seems so trite and trivial most of the time. Everyone makes them, but who really keeps them? But, for some reason, I'm motivated in my life right now to make some positive changes, so I've made some resolutions this year.

My resolutions...

1. Keep getting fit (exercise, healthy eating). I need to tone up majorly!

2. Less TV for my 4 year old. She kind of has a TV addiction at certain times of the day. She freaks if we are out at night and her "shows" are over when we get home and she goes straight to bed. I'm okay with her watching some TV when the time is right...but not okay with a temper tantrum when I say no.

3. More planned meals for the family. With hubby working a 2nd job and me with the kids 4 nights a week alone...planned meals aren't happening too often. But it's important to me that we eat balanced meals and my girls learn to eat at the table.

4. Stay more organized. Put things away. Less clutter.

5. Don't sit down at night until the house is under control. Too often I sit for a breather once the kids are in bed. But I never get up again! I lose the motivation to do what needs to be done (dishes, clean up, prepare for work next day).

Resolutions I SHOULD make

1. No more Diet Coke. I'm addicted. It's better than it used to be. I drink about 1 can a day. I was drinking 3 a few months ago. All that aspertame cannot be good for me!

2. Make my bed every day. Hubby would LOVE if I did. (I'm last out of bed). But it's just not a priority for me I guess.

3. Less time on the internet. HA HA. I'm here right now!! It's become my nightly unwinding.

4. Read intellectual books. I am addicted to cheesy Christian Romance novels. Especially those set in previous centuries. Give me a romance novel on the prairie, or in Amish country and I'll read all night.

5. Only organic, wholesome food for my family. Honestly--I'd love to do this...if I could afford it and if I had the time. But, I don't on either count. So, I'll do the best I can. I make a lot of my own baby food and I'm buying cage-free organic eggs among other things, but I still buy my daughter Cheez-its because we both love them!!

Hope your new year is all you hope it will be. It probably won't be, but you'll do the best you can with it!

Comfort Food

We all have our comfort foods. To some, food is comfort. I'm sure I could do some research and find some great stat's on America's food addiction. Tonight I'm having a moment where I want to use food as comfort. Not because I'm in pain but it's just been a busy day and there's nothing like a frosty Diet Coke or some great ice cream to make me feel better.

But is that really healthy? Definately not physically, and probably not even emotionally or mentally. I'm attempting to give up soda for 30 days. Today is day 4 I think. I was having a small argument with God about it and saying--it's okay if I have one. It's been a rough day, I just need that hit of caffeine and that bubbly going down my throat. But God said, let me be your peace.

I am weak though. I leaned in to take a swig of my husband's beverage, which just happened to be the aforementioned frosty drink. He chastised me and encouraged me to stay strong. So far, I did. Then I began to think about my favorite ice cream we have in the freezer. That would make me feel good. But--I did just eat 2 pieces of cake and the frosting off a 3rd piece at a reception earlier. And a bean burrito. I have another bean burrito, but it's not really sounding good. I am pretty full. But I'd make room for ice ceam.

That's not right. If I'm not hungry for the burrito, I don't need the ice cream.

Comfort food. I want the food that I like to put me in a better place. Hence my lifelong struggle with weight. Not that I've ever been super overweight, but I just always struggle with 10lbs. More like 20 right now from my optimum weight, since I had a baby almost 5 months ago. I don't need food to bring me out of a bad day or a long day.

So I'm going to say strong. I'm not going to eat the ice cream. I'm going to throw away the bean burrito. I'm going to wake up for day 5 of no soda.

Comfort food. Whatever.