on activity, exercise & fitness, part 1

One of the reasons I wish I lived in the farm days (a la Little House on the Prairie or all the Amish novels I love to read) because their everyday lives required so much activity that they ate great food--lots of baked goods, fried food, multiple course meals.  I'm sure there were still weight issues, but for the most part I'd guess farming all day and keeping up with the house in the way they had to, they burned plenty o calories.

Unfortuately, my job is a desk job.  When I'm at home, the lure of the couch is great with the laptop in hand, TV in front of me.  I have a car to drive places, instead of walking.  I have machines and gadgets to complete household chores and tasks (although we DON'T have a dishwasher, unless you count the cute mexican man often found in my kitchen) that used to be done by hand.

Unless we eat like birds, or have speedy metabolism, getting daily activity is necessary to maintain weight and any level of fitness.  Daily life is not the same as it was on the farm.

As a kid, I was very active.  I spent a lot of time playing outside with my brother who was just 18 months younger than me.  I would make a deal with him that if we played dolls for a little bit, then I'd play outside with him.  Usually, he agreed.  We didn't have a TV until I was about 10.  The outdoors was our favorite place.

When I hit junior high and puberty hit me, things started to change a bit.  I still remember being pretty active, but in 8th grade my school schedule really jacked me up.  My "lunch" was before 11am.  So by the time I got home around 2 or 3, I was pretty famished and often ate a second lunch or large snack.  That is when I remember starting to look "fluffy" instead of slim.  That stuck with me for many years.  As I entered high school, my activity level did decrease.  I was interested in sports, but we didn't have the money for organized sports and I changed schools every few years so it was something I didn't really pursue. 

My junior year of college I took a P.E. course that started to change my body.  We met a few times a week and were required to exercise a few times in addition to our classes.  There was something about the instructor, the fact that it was all girls, and there were just a few of us, that I found myself enjoying exercise and pushing myself more than I had in the past.  That began my ongoing relationship with regular exercise.  I got healthier, and over the course of a few years, I think I dropped a size or two.  I didn't track my weight very regularly but I can look back at photos and see the change.

It also helped during my senior year of college when I lived in an apartment with a kitchen and no longer had to eat in the school cafeteria!  Unlimited ice cream, cereal and bagels are not good for the waistline. 

Exercise became a more regular part of my life.  I wasn't always consistent with it, based on my schedule and motivation level, but I knew the importance of it.  In my opinion, I have a body that responds very well to exercise.  In fact, unless I have large amounts of weight to lose (like after pregnancy) I almost need to exercise in addition to eating right to see change in my body.

Tomorrow...my current relationship with exercise.

on food, food and more food

So, I have issues with food.  Huge issues, perhaps not.  But issues nonetheless.  I love food.  I don't usually binge eat.  I just eat too many small amounts of food.  Yes, I'm one who goes back to the cupboard for another cookie, then another and a while later, another.  After I already ate two servings in the first place.

Food issues certainly seem to run in families.  At least they do in mine.  My mom struggled with her weight a lot of her life.  However, the older she got, the slimmer she got.  Now at almost 60, she's pretty slim.  We've thought that maybe hormones play a part in it.  My dad also struggled with weight from his 30's.  In fact, his struggle was a huge contributer to having a stroke at 47 and now being a hemi-plegic. 

Emotional eating is huge in my family.  So is late night eating.  I think late night was when my dad consumed most of his calories.  Eating for comfort, oh yes.  A rough day?  Kids misbehaving?  I just want sugar.  And carbs.  And Diet Coke.  No calories there, but not good for me nonetheless.

From puberty on, I wasn't fat, but I wasn't slim either.  I changed schools a lot, so I never got involved in sports.  I was plump I suppose.  I wasn't too self-conscious about it.  A few times I remember "dieting" and losing a few pounds, but nothing significant.  When I look back at photos of my high school and college years, I don't remember feeling as chubby as I looked. 

Over the past 10 years or so, I've learned a lot about my body and about eating.  It actually took having my first baby to lose a significant amount of weight (much of which I gained while pregnant!) and go below (*gasp, I'm going to say it) 150 and stay there.  Love Weight Watchers, the way.  I was not the norm, and I was at a personal low at the start of my next two pregnancies, gained less and less with each and lost it all plus a few. 

I'm very happy with what I've learned.  I'm proud of myself, because it's a lot of work.  I appreciate the encouragement when people comment that I don't look like I've had three children (um, if they saw my stomach--they'd know!).  I am confident I have the right tools to continue on this path and lead a healthy life.

But...I still have food issues.  I eat for comfort.  I like eating in the evening after dinner.  I go back again and again.  I am addicted to sugar.  And because of my family history, because I am raising three daughters, I need to continue my journey.  I am not pleased that I constantly go up and down 5 pounds.  And it's completely tied to my eating.  Because it usually happens within a few weeks, when I've been eating poorly and too much.

I've been at my pre-pregnancy weight with Lily, but I keep going back up a few.  And in fact, my goal has been to hit a bit lower than that weight.  Because I got pregnant when Gracie was just a year old, losing the additional weight was postponed.  I certainly don't want to be a twig, but I do want to be slim and toned.

I'm tired of fighting with food.  I'm tired of fighting with myself.  I want to win this battle once and for all.  I want to enjoy food for the nourishment it brings, and yes for the flavors and even the sugar rush.  But in a balanced manner.  It's so crucial to me to set a good example for my daughters.  Miss Rose loves sugar just like I do, and although proportional, she's always been big for her age.  I want to set her up well to have a healthy relationship with food.

When it comes to our outward appearance, one of the few things we have control of is our body.  (I do realize there are medical issues that sometimes take away this control.)  Every girl wants good self-esteem.  Yes, the inward is much more important than the outward.  But often the two are related.  That is a whole other subject though. 

I want to like myself.  To feel confident.  There are some things I can't control, like the size of my nose, the texture of my hair, the ways motherhood has affected those pregnancy and mothering parts of my body.  But I can control the shape of my muscles, my weight, and the tone of my body.  No, it's not about a number or a size.  But those are helpful measurements.

Do you get the feeling I'm working up to something?  You're right, I am.  I'm going to challenge myself to make some changes.  Do you need to do the same thing?  Perhaps we can do it together.  Or, I'm perfectly happy with you reading along as I journey. 

Tomorrow, my relationship with physical activity. 

almost home

I'm sitting in the Phoenix Sky Harbor airport, waiting to come home.  I've been at Tommy Barnett's Pastor's School.  Our group took a coach bus--but Bean agreed to letting me fly home as it will get me home 5-6 hours earlier than if I traveled on the bus. This pastor is committed to her call and her job (thus traveling without my family) but this mom is anxious to get home.  So anxious in fact, I failed to take into consideration the location of our hotel in respect to the airport, and the taxi ride cost just about as much as my ticket.  Live and learn. Hopefully Bean feels the same way after hearing the cost.

Pastor's School was a wonderful experience.  It's inspiring and challenging.  Probably one of the things I enjoyed the most was getting to be in a service, worship whole-heartedly, listen to an entire message, without needing to attend to a matter, check on something or be interrupted by a need.  Pastors rarely get to sit through entire church service!  God used Pastor's School to confirm things he's already been doing in me personally, as well as direction for my duties at church. 

This was a huge step for me.  Leaving my family.  Leaving my husband with three children to care for.  Leaving my BABY.  Figuring out bottles and breastmilk and pumping.  I never left Miss Rose or Gracie overnight until they were 18+ months.  But I did it.  I knew it was the right thing.  I knew we would make it.  And we did!!  My family did well without me, and I had a great experience.

I will say, being a working, traveling, still nursing mother brings new meaning to the word dedication!  It's not for the weak.  We spent 12+ hours at the conference site each day.  That was me, carrying around a purse and an extra bag holding my breastpump.  Since we were at a church, thankfully I found a nursing mothers room late the first day.  Keeping pumped milk cold, making sure I kept my supply up so I won't have trouble returning to nursing.  Although Lily has taken her bottles well, I'm hoping she'll be as happy to return to nursing as I will be.

That's not to mention the preparations before I left. 

While I was gone, Miss Rose participated in her first jogathon!  While running 19 laps, which Bean estimates to be close to 5 miles, she also lost her first tooth.  Lost it not only from her mouth, but in general.  She didn't notice at which point it came out.  How's that for a milestone! 

I'm almost home!

organization woes

We've lived in our home for one year and a few days now.  While it's been quite an adjustment, having a smaller home than before--all the while adding a third child, I've come to love our home.  It's cozy and we are never far from each other.  And it's our own, forever house. 

One problem we've yet to solve is the never-ending stream of mail and paperwork.  Both Bean and I are guilty of saving various things to "deal with later."  So we end up with stacks of stuff on our dining table and on the kitchen counter.  In the near future, we will need to utilize every seat at the table, so it will have to stay clean.  And we already have very limited kitchen counter space, so clutter decreases it even less.

The obvious solution would be--let's be more proactive.  But, as I just told Bean...we've been married for over 8 years, and it's always been this way.  It's just us, and we need to accept it.  And with a child in school and two working parents--there are things that we do need to have easy access to (like Miss Rose's weekly site words & reading lists).

I come to you, oh blogosphere for suggestions and ideas.  There is no space for a desk or additional piece of furniture.  The only potential solution I've found so far is the Daily System by Pottery Barn.  While I wouldn't use ALL the pieces, there are a few that seem promising.  But, they are pricey.  For something that may or may not solve the issue.

I feel like this is an impossible issue!  I have some other organizational issues too, but this is the one that bothers me the most.  Let's not talk about my children's books or other various small household items I'm not sure what to do with.

I realize, that if this is my biggest problem right now, I have much to be thankful for.  I do, and I am.  I could have much worse problems. 

All that said, anyone have any products or recommendations for me?  I've done some google searches and haven't come up with much.  A few possibilities, but nothing that really shouts--I'll organize your life on the wall!!  I've got to maximize every bit of space.

Or maybe I just need to figure out how to accept the piles of paperwork that seem to litter my home.

face time for gracie girl

With birthdays two days apart, my biggest and littlest girls have taken up a lot of space on my blog this week.

The week would not be complete without a little face time for Gracie here. She is one of the craziest little beans in our Three Bean Circus.

As most two-year-old's are, Gracie is a pretty crazy sleeper. She moves around a lot during the course of the night. She sleeps in a twin bed with a guard rail. We had to stuff some large pillows between the wall and the bed because she was getting stuck there, sometimes on purpose, sometimes while she slept.

She's also taken to sleeping under her pillow lately.

When Bean went to check the girls before we went to bed the other night, this is what he found.

That would be the head of the bed her feet are on.

This, was the view under the pillow.

Now tell me, how exactly is that comfortable?  Somehow to her, it was.  She was fast asleep and barely woke when we righted her.

Love that girl!  Can't wait to celebrate her birthday in April.  I know it's going to be here before we know it.
Now excuse my while I go take care of the major load I hear Lily working on right now in her highchair.

birthday girls

Where has the year gone?

How has this little newborn...

Grown into this bubbly baby girl?

I mean, she is still quite a baby.  And will be for several more months.  Especially since she still hasn't decided to crawl.  I'm definitely not ready to leave the baby-raising years yet.

But it's still hard to believe that it was just one year ago that she was born.

Our sweet surprise.  A desired child, who came at an unexpected time.

Although I am a planner, the baby-lover in me always thought it would be special to unexpectedly concieve.  And sure enough, I did!  Not only did I unexpectedly concieve, but I also was a full 4 weeks more pregnant than I thought when I had my first ultrasound.

Lily has brought so much joy to our family.  How could a baby not?  I love seeing Miss Rose interact with her in a nurturing manner.  It shows me how "grown-up" Miss Rose is.  Gracie loves her baby sister so much.  The first thing she says to me when I get home from work is "there's your Lily."  I can tell in the next few months as Lily learns to play with others, she and Gracie will become fast best friends.  In another year or so, I fully anticipate these little girls sharing a room and giggling together at night as they go to sleep.

Lily may not crawl yet, but she has acquired other talents.  She plays peek-a-boo both with a blanket and also with her hands.  Much of the time her hands are to the side of her eyes, but she knows what she's doing.  Her first official word is "hi."  Lily loves to greet people with an outstretched hand, a "hi" and a smile.  She also loves to talk on the phone.  Anytime she sees the phone she says "hi" over and over again.  If I touch her nose with one finger, she'll reach out with one finger for my nose. 

We had a small celebration at a park playdate for Lily, cousin G who turns 2 on Monday and another 1-yr old.  Lily was all about the mini-cupcake placed in her hand.  The other little girl was much more dainty about it.

At home tonight, we had another small celebration for our birthday girls.

 

Clearly, Lily enjoyed this cupcake too.  She wasted no time digging in to it.

I can see that this week of the year, is going to be a full one for us from now on.  Between celebrations at school and with family and friends, times two, it's a week full of baking, preparations, sugar, but most importantly--love.

Poor Gracie, doesn't quite understand this year why her two sisters are sharing birthday celebrations, but she isn't included.  We will be sure to make a big deal out of her birthday in April!  I think three is when they finally understand what a birthday is and all that it entails.  Gracie, my little diva, will certainly soak it all in when her day comes around.

Although the parties are fun, with family and friends, what I treasure most are the moments with just the five of us.

And what better end to our day, then a litle reading time with all my babies.

They are all still my babies and always will be.  Miss Rose is like an oversized puppy dog who still wants to crawl into your lap.  Gracie still asks to be held and carried quite often.  And Lily, well obviously, she IS still a baby. 

I love them and I'm in awe of their love for me.

one year ago

One year ago yesterday, I wrote this post.

One year ago today, we became a party of five.

More later today!