this is not a year in review

It seems like everyone in the blogosphere is doing a "year in review" or "resolutions" post today.  I wasn't planning on posting anything today.  But I'm waiting for a sugar/water mixture to turn amber, to complete Salted Caramel Brownies.  So I guess I might as well share a couple quick things.

I don't really have any strong sentiments about 2010, which I guess is good and bad.  It was a year.  It had it's ups and downs.  A lot of challenges,  through which I tried to learn to rejoice and give thanks and count all things joy.

I quit making resolutions a few years ago.  Because I never fully keep them.  I usually have new goals and intentions.  This year is no different, but I won't bore you with them tonight.

What does matter to me, more than anything is family.  My husband, my girls and our extended family.

This was our 3rd Annual New Year's Eve trip to our favorite ice cream shop.  The first time we went, I was very large with child and we were in the midst of renovating our house so we could actually move in.  I really hope this is a tradition that lives on.  When our girls are teenagers and want to hang out with their friends, I hope they love this enough to come with us and then get on with their plans.

(my niece)

Happy New Year's everyone!

random Christmas moments

I need to blog these before I forget them, because you know this is my cyber baby book.  Maybe I should get out Lily's baby book and actually write something in it before her 2nd birthday in a month.  Quite the overachiever I am.

We've had a great Christmas.  Full of family and love and fun.  The kids actually slept until their normal wake-up time, which was nice since we were up until about midnight the night before, wrapping gifts and hanging with my sisters who are in town.

A sidenote here:  if you have sons, for the love, please teach them to wrap gifts.  As a spent a few hours the past two nights wrapping 100% of our gifts, I wished that my husband was adept at gift wrapping.  He typically bribes one of my sisters to wrap my gifts.  This year, we only got each other one small gift since we need to spend a little money on our house.  I requested a book from him.  {i know, if you clicked on that link, you aren't surprised}  I insisted that HE wrap my one gift.  Which he did. 

And when I opened it this morning, it was still shrink wrapped to the cardboard with the invoice inside.  He claims he wanted to disguise the gift.  The one thing I SPECIFICALLY asked for.

So mother's of sons, please teach your offspring to wrap gifts.  So that they can join in on the hours of wrapping at Christmastime.  It will be a huge blessing to their future wives.  I may actually start a free community class for men, teaching them to wrap gifts.

I won't bore you with the play by play of the day, but these are the moments I want to remember...

Gracie falling in love with two more dogs...which she promptly named after the dog we had for three days, and our friends new puppy whom she loves.

Gracie & Lily getting their groove on to Justin Beiber with their cousins.

My nephew and daughter attacking their grandma in joy because they got gifts they really wanted.

After shooting off a new marshmallow gun, Gracie put one hand on her hip, the other hand in the air and said "I'm awesome."  Yes baby, you are! 

Lily...well, she was a wreck today.  She just didn't know what to do with herself!!  It was a lot of commotion that she didn't necessarily understand, and she was mostly interested in what everyone else was getting.  I purchased just two items for her stocking stuffers.  She doesn't understand it all anyways.  The baby bottle I bought broke and I had to throw it away.  I felt bad that there would just be a ball in her stocking, so I decided to put a toy cell phone in that she's been playing with for a few days.  My sister found that hysterical.  Hey--just being resourceful.

I stopped myself from putting the kids leftover Halloween candy in their stockings when I realized I hadn't bought any for them.  I should have just done it.  Miss Rose expressed extreme disappointment tonight that Santa didn't bring her any candy, but he did bring candy to her friends. 

Mind you, we don't do Santa in our house.  She's only learned about him from friends, TV, movies and the like.  But she has decided he is real, and she gets angry if we insinuate otherwise.  It's like a personal offense to her.

Before bed, as the nightly meltdown was occurring, she said the toe socks she got in her stocking were stupid and Santa shouldn't have bought them for her.  Bean said "hey, don't say that, someone had to spend money on them."  To which she retorted, "nobody bought them.  Santa's elves SEWED them."

Oh my.

These are the moments to remember though.

We were so blessed to be able to give, to our children, our family, our friends.  And so blessed with what we received as well.

the ghost of christmas past

I had this great idea to do a 12 Days of Christmas series, sharing family traditions, Christmas stories, holiday favorites and the like.  But this pesky thing called life got in the way and time ran out before the words flowed from the keyboard.

So I thought I'd do a couple.  I'm thoughtful like that.  Because I know you find these random stories about me interesting.  [I know, I flatter myself.]

This got pretty long.  I don't usually like to read or write long blog posts.  But they happen.  Just warning you.  Maybe it makes up for the lack of posting as of late.  Happy reading!

As a young child, our Christmas celebrations were very small and simple.  We went to a church that was very conservative and discouraged the celebration of holidays.  However, when Christmas was just a few days away, my parents would decide they needed to celebrate in small fashion.  Until I was about 10 years old, that was Christmas.

Sometimes a small tree.  Sometimes no tree.  I have several ornaments bought on Christmas Eve for our tree.  Because money was always tight, often my dad would find an abandoned Christmas tree lot a day or two before Christmas and we'd give a lonely tree a home.  This became a very fun family tradition as I got older, that we even carried on after my dad had his stroke and couldn't go out and get trees with us.

My mom always put an orange, a nut, and a quarter in our stockings.  Tradition from when she was a kid.  I don't remember any gifts.  I'm sure we got them, probably few and small.  But nothing stands out.  I wasn't sad or disappointed.  I knew no different.  The traditions we had, were what made the holidays fun.  One year, we didn't have stockings, so my mom set everything out on plates for us.  Just our regular dinner plates, but we loved it!

My brother's birthday is on New Year's Eve.  One year my dad took us to Toys R Us on his birthday.  I'm not sure if the intention was to buy him a birthday gift, or to buy everyone something.  All I know is it was his birthday, and I walked out with a Cabbage Patch Kid named Lynette Georgette.  Yes, I remember her name.  In fact, I still have her and her clothes although her shoes are long gone.  I also have her birth certificate. 

One time, I was attempting to clean marks off her face with alcohol or nail polish remover and I accidentally wiped off part of one eye.  But my aunt who is an artist repainted the eye for me. 

When I was 9, we returned to Southern California where my parents were from (I was born & lived in Washington until then) and Christmas was celebrated on a bit of a grander scale.  With four kids and a stay at home mom, gifts were not the focus.  We also now had family around us to celebrate with and aunts, uncles and grandparents to bestow gifts.

In fourth grade our family was marked by my school (my brother was in second grade) as one who could use some help for Christmas.  Days before the holiday, a load of gifts was delivered along with stuffed stockings.  They were simple, cheap stockings.  Someone had cut pieces of ribbon into pieces to form our names and ages, then taped across them.  We had those stockings for years.  Actually, decades.  Only recently did we finally get rid of the last ones.

Santa was never a part of Christmas in our house.  We all eventually learned the story, but my parents didn't give us gifts from "Santa."  However, growing up my dad's house didn't have a fireplace so my grandpa made a fake fireplace, that ended up being passed down to us.  Every year we'd haul it out (it moved to probably 4-5 house with us), buy new "brick" paper for it and hang our stockings with care.  It was really hard to part with it when it was time for my parents to downsize, but we have such great memories!

We've had years of plenty.  One year was "Disney Christmas" at our house.  My dad had a paper route (which we often helped on) in a well-to-do area and the homes were very generous with tips.  I happened to have a thing for Mickey Mouse.  One sister loved all things Winnie the Pooh.  There were many Disney Store boxes under our tree that year.

We've had lean years.  Probably more of those.  It's always been the thought that counted in our family. As we've grown into adulthood, that has faded a bit.  I'd like for it to come back though.  It's too easy to get caught up in material things, in having the latest trend, in getting the hot item that year.  One of my good friends was blessed to always get the biggest ticket items for Christmas.  But my family had a lot more fun.

There was great emphasis on choosing gifts for one another.  We had an annual trip for many years to a local mountain town where we shopped for one another.  When we were young, my grandma took us shopping at the drugstore every year for my parents.  We had a $5 limit per parent.  If we wanted to spend more, we had to convince a sibling to go in with us.  Then we'd climb back in my Grandpa's Pinto and at their house we'd wrap gifts and drink eggnog cut with milk.  Oh the memories.  I miss them, especially at Christmas.

I've been more purposeful in my Christmas shopping this year.  Partially in an effort to stay on budget.  But also, to make sure I get gifts that are meaningful and will be used.  An inexpensive or sale item that gets frequent use is of greater value than something that costs more, just because it's trendy.  I wanted to get gifts my children would actually play with.  Too many times I've picked up things I thought were cute or fun, but really didn't fit them.  I hope I've done well.

I want to have holiday traditions with my children that are fun and memorable.  I don't know if we've established those yet.  They are still young though, so there is time.  I want my children to look back at Christmas' past and remember the family togetherness, the laughter, the meaningful gifts.  I don't want it to be only about what was under the tree.

Thanksgiving and Christmas have always been about family for us.  Family and food.  Good, home cooked food.  Except for See's Candy. That's a must also.   Well, the last few years we've been getting tamales for Christmas, from one of the best Mexican places in town, so I think that counts as home cooked.

I hope these are the holiday traditions we are instilling in our children.  Just writing this was a wonderful reminder of why the holidays have been important to me growing up and I need to focus more on these aspects with the girls.

I'd love to hear a special memory or favorite holiday tradition you had growing up!

which way is up?

I am so incredibly disoriented in life, it's quite pitiful.

I love my routines and patterns.  My kids thrive on them as well.  Our life is never wrapped up in a box with a nice bow on it--but 50-75% of the time, things go as planned.  Some semblance of routine is required to keep us on track with the demands of a working mom, a first grader, two little girls and the rest of life.

All that has been thrown out of the window in the last several days.  Some was expected, some was not.

Last week, Bean got the opportunity to work some hours at his former part-time job at the church.  It's short-term, but you can always use extra money, right?  Especially this time of year.  Especially when I unexplicabely broke a tooth last week and now have a temporary crown and will go back next week for the permanent one.  Which will necessitate getting a new custom-molded mouth guard which prevents me from clenching my teeth at night, most likely a stress/tension related habit.  But I have TMJ and am prone to headaches, so this mouth guard is a must for me.  And it's super sexy when I talk with a lisp at night to Bean.  Just ask him.

Anyhow, this means that Bean worked 5-6 hours on Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings.  In the midst of holiday extravaganzas and other such busyness, which I navigated on my own so that he could work.  That was the unexpected, for which we are thankful though.

The expected was moving out of our house last night, for a week.  The fact that it was expected, didn't make it any easier.  So much couldn't be done until the day of or the night of.  It was pointless to do much to prepare, which of course made me freak out in my head the last few weeks.

At 4:30pm last night, it began.  I packed for myself and the kids.  Clothes, toiletries, anything we might need.  We got dinner, and bathed all the kids early.  Headed over to his mom's apartment, where the kids proceeded to bounce off the walls for about thirty minutes, before we put them to bed.  His mom likes to keep her house quite warm.  We were broiling. The kids ended up sleeping in their underwear.  We are having an odd heat wave right now.  But still.  It was hot.  And she was wearing a sweatshirt.

Bean and I then returned to the house to gather the rest of what we needed.  We also had to clear the floor, tub and vanity of the hall bathroom.  We moved furniture away from windows (which are all being replaced). We had to clear off every surface in the kitchen (new granite countertops, whoo-hoo!).  Technically since there is lead abatement involved, we aren't supposed to return to the house until it's cleared.  However Bean was trying to convince me that it would be easier for him to return after work hours each night, to get what we needed for the next day.  He's a raging lunatic sometimes.

Last night, Miss Rose & Gracie slept on a queen Aero Bed, I slept (kind of) on a twin bed and Lily was in a pack-n-play.  Bean slept on the couch.  None of us slept well.  Miss Rose said she woke up every time she moved because the Aero bed was noisy.  Lily woke at one point and was crying, so I brought her into bed with me for a bit.

It's just odd.  Everything is out of sorts right now.  And like the title says today, I have no idea which way is up, what time it is or what day it is today.  The normal organized chaos of my life has become very unorganized chaos. 

We are so thankful to my mother-in-law for opening her home to us, for Bean's grandma moving out for the week to give us a bedroom to spread our stuff out.  The other option was staying in a residence hotel in a less than satisfactory part of town.  This is much, much better.

Hopefully, the novelty has worn off and everyone will be good and tired tonight, and sleep well.  The chaos continues though, because we have a holiday dinner to attend.  Miss Rose will stay with Grammie so she can go to bed on time.  The little girls will go to the home of a co-worker for the evening.  Since Grammie watched the kids all day while I'm working, we didn't want to stick her with them all again tonight.

*Sigh*  If you see me, in person, or in the interwebs, please show me which way is up.

I may not find it again until Sunday or Monday.

{but, I am doing my best to still choose joy because it's all for a reason, for a purpose and we will return to an upgraded house, for which we've barely had pay anything}

thankful

I have many things to be thankful for.  Wonderful children, a great family, awesome friends.  Our house is in the midst of renovations that are mostly *free* (once we live here 10 years).  We have a brand new automatic garage door, a new pantry and cupboards and drawers and more to come.

But, I'm dedicating this Thanksgiving post to my husband.  For whom I am extraordinarily grateful.

Bean is an amazing husband.  He contributes so much to the family.  He makes dinner about half of the week.  And he always does the dishes because that's what he loves.  He does all the yardwork and landscaping.  He does a lot of household and children's laundry (I fold and put away).

I almost never have to get gas in the van.  Bean willingly does almost all of our store runs.  Even when it's 3 times in one day.  Because he'll go for one thing.  And then we'll realize we need something else.  And then I forget to have him get milk, so he goes one more time.  Luckily the grocery store is two short blocks away!

He is a great support to my ministry.  It's impossible to be in vocational ministry without the support of your spouse.  He always is on kid duty on Sundays.  Getting three girls to church isn't always the easiest thing.  Bean is a fantastic father.  The girls love him so much.  When we are driving home after work they always want to know if he's home already and when they see his car, it's like we arrived at Disneyland.

As a working mom, in a not always traditional job, I need the help and support of my husband so much.  I rely on his involvement.  It's one of the reasons I haven't had a nervous breakdown.  Bean talks me down when I'm on the edge.  He listens.  He prays.

I am so thankful for the husband God blessed me with.  He is everything I wanted, and so much more.  Sure we banter and bicker.  We get annoyed with each other.  But in the end, there is no one else we'd rather share this life with--the ups and the downs.

These are the words to the first song we ever danced to.  Bean catches me, every time.

can you sleep as the sound hits your ears, one at a time?
an unspoken balance here,
unabridged for so many years
that i should stare at receivers to receive her isn't fair
don't worry i'll catch you
don't ever worry
your arms in mine, anytime
i wouldn't trade anything
you're still my everything
to my surprise, before my eyes, you arrive
don't worry I'll catch you
don't ever worry
i'm still breaking old habits, habits when you pulled the wool over me
i can see everything, everything remembering "jinx removing"
don't worry i'll catch you

don't ever worry
no need for reminding... you're still all that matters to me

let's get it started!

Tonight is the first night of my holiday!  I decided to take tomorrow off from work.  It would have been a half day, but the energy required for waking, readying and feeding children, dropping them off and getting to work just wasn't worth it!

This way I can have a relaxing morning, get my house in order, shop for baking and cooking and just soak in my kids.  Because that's what I love to do on my days off. 

I started my holiday with a fabulous run.  I got started a little later than intended, so I was under the gun to finish before it was pitch black and before my husband and/or children imploded.  Well, really they do fine without me; they just like when I'm there too.

My legs were feeling spry and springy, so I decided to take off at a faster pace than normal.  Then I decided to just push it the whole run.  If I can run 4-5 miles around 9:00/mile on a treadmill, I should be able to transfer that to the road.  There were a few times I had to slow down because I was getting a side-stitch, but mostly I was booking it. 

As it got darker and darker, that was even more impetus to be speedy.  I usually run on the street because the asphalt is better than concrete sidewalks.  But it got too dark for me to feel safe since I really wasn't dressed for night running.  I had to be careful on the sidewalks because there are uneven breaks and bumps from tree roots.

I was pretty happy when I finished to see that I ran almost 3.75 miles and my pace was 9:30.  I just need to keep pushing myself.  I have been thinking it would be fun to run the same half marathon for the next few years just for the sake of trying better my time each year.

It was a good start to what should be several great days.  No one is sick or injured as of right now.  family is coming in.

There are days that I'm overwhelmed and discouraged.  There are things I wish were different, and maybe one day will be.

But overall, I truly love my life.

running through my head

I see that this is my 500th post.  Had I noticed I was nearing that mark before, maybe I would have planned something special.  Let's be honest though, I would have had great intentions, but it probably still wouldn't have happened. 

So much in my life seems to be low priority right now.  High priority is just living, loving my kids and paying bills.  Well--loving God of course is the highest.  I have projects I'd like to complete, ideas for decorating and organizing, books I want to read.  But most days all that falls to the wayside for sake of survival.  It's a good survival, don't get me wrong.  I just wish I had time to do more than survive.

Last Wednesday night I dragged myself into Bible Study.  I was tired at the end of my work-week as I always am.  I saw an empty seat and dropped into it asking if it was free.  In jest one of the ladies said "yes, but it's going to cost you."  Sometimes I can come up with some witty in a situation like that.  Not that night.  All I could be was brutally honest.  Without even thinking about it I said, "it's the end of my work week and I have nothing to give."  Which was true.  We laughed about it.  But I must say I caught myself off guard with the exchange.

I've been thinking today on my optimistic spirit.  I guess it's good to be an optimist.  But that also means you trust too easily and aren't as cautious as you should be in some situations.  And it's so hard to understand pessimists.  I find myself being too judgemental.  And I repent and ask God to help me with my attitude.  And then I pray for those I have trouble understanding. 

God seems to be sending a lot of pessimists my way.  I don't really appreciate this learning experience.  I struggle with knowing how to relate to others who approach life differently.  Usually I just want to scream.  But I don't.  My other instinct is to climb inside my bubble and close out most of the world.  If I don't hear it or read it than it won't affect me.  But that's not a healthy approach either.  I'm still figuring it out I guess.

I'm really looking forward to the holiday this week.  I decided to take Wednesday off from work.  I have a lot of vacation time built up.  Which means I'm not using it.  I probably should use more of it.  I plan to get organized for cooking and baking and having my sisters in town.  They know my house is usually messy, and I think they have grace for me, but I like to pretend I keep things better organized when the come to town. 

I desperately want to experience the holidays this year.  Two years ago we were closing on the house during the holiday season and work began to ready it for us to move in.  I was also large with child.  It was a stressful time.  Last year we were more settled and we did have some special family moments, but Lily was still under a year old.  I was nursing and pumping which takes time and energy.  I had some intentions that were never realized.

This year, I want to put up Christmas lights outside.  Even if it's just a few strands on our porch.  I want to make Christmas goodies to share with family and friends.  I want to read the Christmas story as a family.  I don't want this year to pass by. 

My babies are growing and that makes me a bit sad.  Next year Lily will be leaving toddlerhood and talking in complete sentences.  There is something so precious to me about celebrating the holdays babies and young children.  It's especially magical for me.  In fact, had God not sent Lily in his timing, my timing would have been a babe born between September and November.  A snuggly newborn to photograph in a stocking for Christmas.

I digress.  I could talk about babies forever.

I am such a work in progress.  My brain is working overtime lately to figure me out.  To figure out what God is doing with this mess.  To him I know that I am a beautiful mess, but most days I can't see the beautiful part.  I see my flesh and how far off the mark I am.  There are so many paths right now I don't have the courage to travel down.  This hanging in the balance though, isn't so great either.

I need about two solid hours of loud, intense worship and a good cry.

Pumpkin SURPRISE

I write a lot about fitness and running. 

But I strongly believe in balance and enjoying life.

Such as holidays.  They should be enjoyed.  With good food.

For the past few years, I have a tradition of burning a lot of calories on Thanksgiving morning.  It started sisters extended, with a homemade Turkey Trot we called the "Pie k".  You ran as many "k" as you could for the sake of eating pie later!  We even had tank tops we wrote our favorite foods on.  The next year it poured rain and our Pie k got moved to the gym.

I haven't quite decided what calorie burn I'll have on Thursday, but one of the reasons is this.

Pumpkin SURPRISE

It's a different take on pumpkin pie and it's so yummy.

1 lb can of pumpkin
1 12-oz can of evaporated milk
cinnamon
clove
ginger
(in whatever amount you like.  you can use the amounts on the can of pumpkin for pie--or use pumpkin pie spice)
1.5 cups sugar
4 eggs

Mix together and smooth into a 9x11 pan

On the top of the pie mix sprinkle 1 yellow cake mix
Melt 2 sticks of butter (1 cup) and pour evenly over the cake mix.
Top with pecans.

You can use whole pecans and lay them across the entire pan or you can chop them up as chunky or as fine as you like.  Or you can do half and half.  Or you can skip the pecans.

Bake at 350 for 1 hour.

Skeptical?  Give it a try early this week.  Bring it to work.  Send it with your husband to work.  Or you may just keep it for yourself.

Happy pre-Thanksgiving weekend!

family photos

I feel a bit schizophrenic when it comes to family photos.  On the one hand, I want the picture perfect shot with everyone looking and smiling, every hair in place, with personalities shining through.  On the other hand, I'm all about reality.  Reality is, Miss Rose doesn't care for taking photos most of the time.  Gracie gets very goofy and we are lucky to get Lily to look at the camera and smile at the same time.

It's been a few years since I sent out Christmas cards.  Life has just been too overwhelming.  But this year, I am determined to do it.  I love receiving photo cards in the mail and I want to be on the giving end as well this year.

We have two shots at getting a good photo this year.  Opportunity #1 actually went really well.  I kinda want to share it today, but I haven't decided if I will.  I might save it for later :)

Shutterfly is giving bloggers the opportunity for 50 free photo cards this year and I'm so excited!  I've used Shutterfly for years for many things!  Photo prints, enlargements, photo books and calendars.  They are fast, easy and great quality!

Some of the top runners for our card this year are:

I love the classic, polished look of it!

This one is great for sharing multiple photos...if I have that many decent ones to share!

Another strong contender!

Check out all the photo card options here! There are also folded cards.

Too busy or overwhelmed this holiday season?  Then check out the Valentine's Day Cards!!  These would be so fun to send out.

Once I choose a photo and create a card, I'll share it here.  So, you'll just have to wait :)

Are you a blogger who'd like to get 50 free cards yourself?  Go here and sign up with Shutterfly  It's that easy.

costumes & photos!

I know that today was Halloween, but really--for us, it's a time the kids dress up in costumes and get candy!  I avoid all the scary, ghoulish stuff as much as possible.  Although, thanks to school influence Miss Rose did request a few "scary" costumes, but I told her those weren't options.

I seem to always put off sharing photos and events--which means it never happens.  So, I'm disciplining myself to share!

If I had Photoshop and the time

I would take Miss Rose from this photo...

And Gracie from this photo...

With Lily from this one...

 

And we'd have a super cute picture of our three little beans.  But I think all the pictures are pretty cute anyways, and capture different elements of our children.

In case you need clarification, Miss Rose is Jessie from Toy Story.  I did not get the memo to purchase costumes prior to October that most other parents got.  So in early October when we went to find a costume--they were completely out.  In stores and online.  So we settled for Woody (and got the last costume in her size in the store) and a pink Cowboy hat.

I was pretty happy this year that I already had Lily's costume and Gracie's was $3 at a yard sale and we already had the shoes (which were hand me downs).  I bought Lily's costume for her last year, but it runs huge and just fit her this year.

Speaking of Lily.  She really should have been a model for this costume.  I mean, does it get any cuter than this?

 You can't quite tell, but the tights are green and purple striped with a flower on the side.  There are also matching slippers, but we didn't want to ruin them walking outside.  Seriously adorable.

Gracie was in heaven riding this pony.  She had to do it again before the night was over.

Of course Miss Rose looked quite the part as the cowgirl.

Again, no such thing as a perfect picture with 6 kids age 6 and under.  (only the biggest cousin missing in this photo of one side of the family)

And finally, a photo taken by a friend.

It was a fun night and I love my family!

tired and blessed

I am one tired mama. This is one of our marathon weekends.  As much as I try to avoid having a lot going on in a weekend, sometimes it can't be helped.  I'm really working on my attitude and frame of mind about life.  Focusing on some of the thoughts I shared here.  This is the life God has blessed me with, and it is what I make it.

I spent a lot of time last night and this morning cleaning in preparation for Gracie's birthday party.  But that means I have a home, which we actually own.  It means we have plenty of toys, clothes and other belongings to get strewn about our home.

We went to our church Easter Egg hunt, at a local middle school.  I am thankful to be a part of a church that enjoys blessing our community.  We gave away a bike (which my nephew happened to win!), a playstation, ipods and more.  

Shortly after arriving home, it was time for Miss Gracie's 3rd birthday party, about which she was so excited.  I scurried to make the final preparations at home while Bean picked up pizza.  What a blessing to have enough money to have our large family over and feed them lunch. 

After the party (which was a huge hit and will get a post of it's own in the future) and clean-up, kids were down for naps and my sister and I escaped on a spur of the moment shopping trip.  With my sisters help, I actually got a few clothing items, that are in style, that are right for my body, and that fit.  Again, a blessing to have been able to find a little extra money in the budget for clothes.  And a sister that I enjoy spending time with.  

Once dinner was eaten, children were bathed and put to bed, it was time to turn to tomorrow.  I ironed dresses and skirts.  So far, Miss Rose is agreeing to wear a skirt and shirt--approved by her--for Easter.  I certainly hope my practical-dressing, tomboy daughter keeps that courage!!  What a blessing to have three beautiful daughters.  Watching friends go through struggles with infertility, gives new perspective on children.  I am blessed and amazed that I have three daughters to dress for Easter tomorrow.

And then it was assembling Easter baskets.  But it's not about the baskets or the candy or little gifts.  It's about the Savior.  It's about his gift.  I want to teach my children that Easter isn't about new clothes and candy.  It's about new life and the sweetness life with Christ brings. 

So yes, I'm tired.  But I am so, so blessed.

Christmas thoughts

My mind is full of many things. Many thoughts on Christmas and family and Jesus.

I am so aware this year of God's blessings on me and our family. We truly have so much. Not in that we are able to buy gifts for our family, but just the love that we share.

My heart was filled to overflowing tonight at our Christmas Eve service. At one point, the three girls were seated on the pew, sandwiched between Bean and I. The love I have for these girls, and that man, is overwhelming. And only magnified by the love I have for Jesus.

I absolutely love Christmas Eve services. I'm not exactly sure why. I think it's a combination. It's a service that is so full of anticipation, and the sole focus is Jesus and the celebration of his birth, which changed the course of history, and my life.

It's family, all together. No kids in childcare or Sunday School. Sure, they are squirrely and I don't catch every word--but having them in church with me is so special.

It's the music, the songs I love to sing. As I grow older, I learn the words to more Christmas songs, the lesser sung ones. And I'm so moved. This year, O Come, O Come Emmanuel is having an impact on me.

And other thoughts. Bean and I are both off next week. Besides church on Sunday, I have about 10 days off. Which is my first vacation since maternity leave. And maternity leave, especially when recovering from a c-section, isn't a vacation! I'm looking forward to the time with the kids and with Bean. To not having to worry about bottles for the baby. Or Gracie being sad that I have to go to work. To get together with friends and spend time with family.

I may or may not blog much over the next few weeks.

Enjoy this season with your family.

Merry Christmas, from my family, to yours.

an ornament story

There once was a little boy
Who would grow up to love
Those bucking Broncos

There once was a little girl
Who grew up dreaming
Of a true love, and a family
(and cheering for the Bolts)

Years knowing of each other
Music brought them together
And love quickly grew
Their first Christmas together,
A new dating couple

The next Christmas,
A happily married couple

A darling
Brown haired and chocolate eyed
Firstborn

Three years later
A green-eyed pixie
Of fair skin and dark hair

And then a sweet surprise
Another bouncing baby girl
A blue-eyed flower

Sharing a first Christmas
As a family of five

Why I don't buy my kids toys

If I had the time and creative energy there would be an angled photo of wooden cupboard doors right here.

But it's the end of a long day full of work, kids, Christmas trees, fast food dinners, baths, fights over homework and addressing Christmas cards.

So you'll just have to imagine it.

I sometimes dread the "Christmas list" request that inevitably comes this time of year.  Sure, give my kids a Target or Toys R Us ad, and they'll come up with a huge list of toys they want.

But the thing is, I'm their mom.  And I know them better than they know themselves at this point.

My kids don't play with toys.  We have lots of various toys, but in reality they truly are underused.

I know that the toys my kids receive are new and exciting for a week, tops.  Then they find their way to the bottom of the toy baskets, not to be seen or played with for months.  Toys they thought they would love, are hard to use or require parental supervision [which we don't have a lot of time for.]

So what do my kids do?

They play with OUR stuff.  Way more than they play with toys.

We have a tall wooden armoire that currently is in our living room.  It's had a variety of uses over the past years, and this is not it's permanent position, it's just that when we moved bedrooms, our new bedroom doesn't have room for it. The top of it contains Bean's clothes.  The man has a 4-drawer dresser in our room [actually, our dressers are in our closet, that's how small it is.]  He uses two of those drawers.  I'm not sure what's in the other two, clothes he doesn't wear much, but most of his everyday clothes are in the top of the armoire.  The bottom shelves contain various paperwork and personal effects.

A few weeks ago Gracie started putting her babies to bed in the bottom.  And storing toys there.  Anytime she wants a toy that we can't find, we have to remember to look in the armoire, because that's probably where it is.  She opens and closes the doors.  In fact, she also likes to put herself in there, even with the stuff that we have in there.

Even more recently, Miss Rose decided she didn't want to be left out and laid claim to the top.  She's been putting various items of her own in the top, along with Bean's clothes.  She calls it her "locker" and locks it with rubber bands.  Which annoys Bean to no end because he has to take them off to access his clothes.  Last night he exclaimed "really, she has to pick one of the only places in the house that is mine?"

Miss Rose has also developed an affinity for office supplies.  In fact she has shoeboxes full of labels, index cards, postal forms, stickers, folders and various other office supplies that my mom has given her recently.  Her favorite location for her office is our bed.  Maybe because it's higher and at her waist level.  She'll spend an hour, laying out all the supplies in stacks and playing school with them.  Miss Rose is dying for one of those correction tape dispensers.  Guess what she's getting in her stocking?  And I bet it will be one of her favorite gifts.  And cost all of $2.99.

THIS is why I don't buy my kids toys and why I don't need others to either.

My brother in law likes to call me a grinch and tease me about it...but it's the truth.

It is helping with my Christmas shopping this year.  They are each getting one big gift and then several small items--like pajamas, slippers, warm socks, and the usual stocking stuffers.  They'll load it all into the armoire and be happy as clams.

jolly ole saint nick

We don't really do the "Santa" thing in our home.

It wouldn't bother Bean if we did, but he's pretty cool with going with my flow when it comes to stuff like this.

I didn't grow up with the Santa tradition and so it would feel very odd to practice it with my daughters.  Or "perpetuate the lies" as I like to tell Bean sometimes when I'm feeling feisty.

A few years back it was pretty easy.  Presents just came from mom and dad and if Santa was brought up, he was just a character.

Now, as Miss Rose is getting older, she's smarter and is figuring out more of this gig.

In fact, she's decided this year she DOES believe in Santa, and I am not to tell her otherwise.

I hear this is somewhat typical with children this age who haven't been raised with the Santa tradition.

It's quite comical.  She knows Santa is not real, that he's a character some people believe in, and she quite simply wants to believe in him.  Sometimes when we are with other kids she'll say "mama, is Santa real?"  To which I usually respond, "we'll talk about it later."

Miss Rose has recently seen some of the "Santa Clause" movies and so a few times she's asked me questions about Santa, to which I respond, "well, in the movie..."  I think it's quite clever.

Santa won't be delivering any presents to our home.  But something tells me that Miss Rose will still be convinced that some of her gifts came from him.

I'll be enjoying the sitcom situations it creates.  And I promise, if your children believe in Santa, I'll do my best to make sure my daughter preserves their beliefs!

it doesn't get cuter than this

When I was a little girl, I was either playing outside with my brother, or playing inside with my baby dolls.  I only had a few really nice dolls, and they were truly my babies.  Most of the time, I played hospital with them.  But I always had fun dressing them and wrapping them in blankets, just like a real baby.  In fact, I still have those same dolls and some of the clothes I'd use with them.  Sometimes Miss Rose plays with my baby dolls.

So it's no surprise that I have fun dressing my children up.  It's not all frills and lace, but I do labor over what to have them wear for holidays, professional photos and of course Halloween!  I'm actually not the hugest fan of the holiday itself, but since we have an event at church, I'm okay with the kids dressing up and enjoying the candy.  In fact, I like dressing them up.

In just a few more years, they will choose their own costumes, but for now I get to choose two out of three costumes.  This year, with three children, I realized we are quickly moving towards coming up with costumes out of things we already own.  Even bargain hunting and making purchases on ebay, Halloween added up to more than I expected.

It was worth it though.  At least this year.  We had the absolutely cutest girls on Halloween. 

Gracie was so adorable as Minnie Mouse, even if she didn't want to wear her ears.  She has a new love of wearing tights.  In fact, she thinks they are like leggings or pants and can be worn out of the house, with a shirt and shoes.  And her dress, she's wanted to wear it every day since.

Lily was a perfect little ladybug.  Initially I planned on her being a flower, her name being Lily and all.  But the 6-12 month costume I bought, was big enough to fit Gracie.  So I'm saving it for next year.  But my next door neighbor had the ladybug costume and it ended up being perfect.  It actually fed my obsession of all things red for my baby girl!

What can we say about Miss Rose?  She tries to be rough and tumble.  Choosing a policeman costume.  But she just ends up being the most beautiful cop with her curls cascading down her back.  I sometimes threaten to cut her hair when we argue over combing it out, but I'm glad it's so long and beautiful.  I used to have curls like hers.  But the hormones of three pregnancies have relaxed them :(

For the first time in a few years I didn't have a specific role at our Halloween event, which meant I was able to enjoy going around with my kids.

It was the first time Gracie really understood what getting candy was all about and riding the ponies was a huge hit.

And this little girl, just melts my heart with every smile.  She "tries" to smile so big, it just overtakes her face.  I love this little ladybug!

I love being a mom and getting to share these wonderful times with my family.  Such great memories.  I still need to download a great family photo someone snapped of the five of us, so I'll share that in another post.

You have to admit, they are pretty cute!

Christmas At Our House

Although I've had a little more time lately, for some reason I just haven't gotten back into the blogging habit. Probably due to the fact that even though I've had more time, I'm 8 months pregnant, so I'm exhausted by the end of the day, regardless!

We've had a wonderful Christmas. I've had a little extra time off, which has been such a blessing. The holiday season is a busy one when you're in the pastor-business, so having to put in a little less office time has been nice. I actually managed to complete my shopping on Monday and not have to brave the big crowds in those last few days before Christmas. They were bad enough on Monday!

My sisters came "home" (to San Diego) yesterday just in time for the Christmas Eve service. Our whole family went to the service and then we ate spaghetti with homemade sauce after. YUM!

Although we enjoy the gift-giving and receiving, for my family, holidays are all about the food! It has to be homemade or high quality. Bean picked up our 2 pounds of See's Candy yesterday which we promptly broke into while we waiting for the pasta to cook! Christmas morning we made Monkey Bread with homemade biscuit dough (I think the refridgerator biscuits have an aftertaste). Eggs and chorizo are also a staple and beef sausage.

Bean found out about a very authentic mexican food shop that makes amazing tamales for Christmas. He ordered 2 dozen, along with tortillas, beans and rice. Even though we reheated it all today---it was pretty much the best Mexican food EVER! Very authentic and completely delicious. We are pretty sure it's going to be a new holiday tradition.

The girls enjoyed Christmas of course. I was very proud of Miss Rose because she kept a very good attitude, even when her gifts were all opened and was very thankful for everything. My little tomboy's highlight was a nerf dart gun from her uncle. She's a crack up. Gracie is really enjoying a shopping cart and toy vacuum she can push around the house. I'm excited about purging the current toy stash in the packing process since they will be focused on their new stuff.

I can't wait to be back to my regular running routine as Bean got me the Nike+ accessory and another pair of shoes. It will track my runs as well as a variety of other things. Much cheaper than a GPS running device (especially when you have a friend who gets discounts!). Bean only wanted loppers and shears for yardwork at the new house.

Probably my favorite moment of the day though, was when we were putting Miss Rose to bed. She asked to pray (usually Bean or I pray) and her prayer consisted of thanking God for Christmas and all the blessings and gifts and that it was Jesus' Birthday. YES! She gets it!!

I find it pretty amusing that she adamantly doesn't believe in Santa. I wasn't raised with that tradition, so I haven't really pressed it with her. She seems to understand that some kids do believe in Santa though. My favorite moments are when other adults will ask her if she's written him a letter and she'll say (in her sassy voice) "he's not real, he's just a story." I was not the one to make her adamant about it. She chose that stance all on her own!

That is a little picture of Christmas at our house. I hope that Christmas at your house as your kind of wonderful!

Fitness Friday, Halloween & More (photos included!)

I have a little catching up to do, so here goes.

Fitness Friday
I think I missed this post last week due to Halloween. I was busy all day getting ready for our church event. However, I can report that the last two weeks I've stayed on track mostly with my health and fitness.

Well, the week of Halloween contained a bit too much candy consumption. I did exercise 2-3 times however. This week I've really gotten my eating back under control. It seemed that my weight gain was going a bit too fast. Trust me, I eat plenty. But trying not to overdo it.

I've been using Babyfit to track my food and weight. I love that site for having a healthy pregnancy. After entering your health information and pregnancy goals, you can track your weight and see a graph of your gain showing the high and low goals. It really helps me stay in the middle of the two lines. We are borrowing a Weight Watchers scale that I love!

This week I ran 3.5 miles on Monday and Wednesday and I plan to run tomorrow as well. I need to get a maternity belt to give my back and belly some support, but it still feels really good to run!

Halloween
Our church had a fun community event. Miss Rose LOVED it all. She was a very proud "bad pirate who does nothing." My little feminist was insistent that she was a "bad pirate" not a girl pirate. Then she combined that with her version of the Veggie Tales "Pirates Who Don't Do Anything." She told me she did not want to be called beautiful. In fact that night when someone told her she was pretty, she looked at me with eyes that said "see Mom, people always tell me that."

Gracie was okay with the whole package. She was sick and therefore didn't have much energy. She was my little monkey. She has a love for monkies in general and is one too! It wasn't hot that night, but not necessarily cold. Much of the night her costume was unzipped and the legs unbuttoned so she didn't overheat. Gracie had her first lollipop that night, much enjoyed!

Here's a few photos...

















Gracie the Monkey
















Miss Rose the Pirate
















That is the "bad pirate who does nothing."














Unzipped, unbuttoned, eating a lollipop













Bean and his midgets (his favorite endearment these days for the kids)













Mama and her beauties (yes...I have a belly, I'm just hiding it here)


And...here's my official 6-month belly picture. I was being goofy for the camera. This baby really is growing and moving A TON!























Have a wonderful weekend!

Yay for Family Days

This just seems to have been a slow week all around in "bloggy world." I guess with the shortened work week for some and the coming holiday everyone is busy.

We are looking forward to two family days in a row! Miss
Rose is big on schedule and knowing what to expect in the days to come. From before she was two, she'd ask us for the "plan" of a day and we'd have to repeat it several times while she committed it to memory. And if we deviated from the plan...oh we heard about it! Yes--she has the anal retentive side of her father and the control issues of her mother.

It's hard to say when it started, but for a while now we've been referring to days by what Miss Rose is doing. We have "school days", "Grammie days", "Mommy days", "family days", "church days" etc. Usually Friday is a "mommy day" as I'm off so the girls are home with me. Bean works his day job and his evening job on Fridays.

Since tomorrow is a holiday--Bean doesn't have to work either of his jobs--so we get an extra family day. Miss Rose and Gracie are always so excited to see Daddy in the morning, since he usually leaves at 6:30am. We are looking forward to lots of time together on Friday and Saturday.

Gracie is becoming quite the little walker. It also means her falls are harder, and some nights there are quite a few tears. She's so proud of herself though when she walks.

Have a happy 4th of July and I hope you get lots of good family time too.

It's the Holiday Season

But I don't feel so holiday-ish. I have 5 days to get into the Christmas spirit and enjoy it. I think I can do it. Today was my last day of work for 10 days or so. I'm excited about that. I have some weekend stuff, but no office :)

Let's see...I did downsize a lot of toys. I still have too many though. LOL! I'll just keep cycling through every few months and finding stuff to give away. ER doesn't miss anything I've given away.

Diet Coke...I'm down to 1 a day, max of 2. Most days, just 1. I control it, it's not controlling me!!

I told my daughter that we have a vacation coming up--since I don't have to work and she isn't going to daycare next week. She says "no mama. A vacation is when you go somewhere new, not when you stay home." Ah, little minds.

I'm off for another cupcake. Maybe I am in the holiday spirit after all!