this day

I have been trying to live by the phrase "embrace this day."  I read it somewhere on the interwebs more than a year ago.  And it keeps coming back to me.

The idea being, I need to live the day, whatever it holds, the good and the bad.  There will be things about each day that I wish were different, there will be challenges and circumstances beyond my control.  But wallowing in self-pity and always looking at the "greener" grass in someone else's life will get me nowhere.

If I trust God, I trust what each day holds.  I need to be able to say, "this is the day the Lord made" even when I don't like what it's the day.  To embrace this day, as well as those days.

You'll be hearing more about this from me soon.

But...today, has been one of "those days".  A day that I struggle to embrace.  A day that threatens to swallow me.

I've had a cold for almost a week now.  Sunday it took my voice, which has been lovely.  I sound like a lifelong smoker today.  Monday I ran a 9.3 mile race.  I enjoyed it, but it was tough due to the cold, difficulty breathing and a very nasty raw piece of foot.  The house is a disaster, because we've been having too much fun this holiday weekend.

I was up at 5am on Monday for my race.  I arrived back home around 9:30am and we headed to Bean's moms condo to swim for a bit.  I tried to nap in the afternoon, but for some reason was only succesful in heavy dozing and daydreaming.

We headed to some friends for a 4th of July tradition of BBQ, sundaes and firework viewing from their front driveway.  Within 30 minutes of arrival, Lily was hit hard with illness.  Again.  Her fever quickly rose and I ran to get some Motrin.  She perked up for a few hours, but was down again later in the evening.

It was a difficult night for her.  Bean and I didn't get much sleep.

VBS started today for the older girls.  I was able to call the doctor office and get them to order bloodwork in light of last months illness episode.  This way I could go to an afternoon appointment with bloodwork results already in.

This was my morning.

Pick up my niece (on my way, so no big deal)
Drop three girls at church for VBS
Drive 20 minutes to lab...stopping off to get cash because I have to pay for parking
Call the DMV 800 number to reschedule an appointment I had this afternoon for my expired license because I needed to bring Lily to the doctor instead.
The lab doesn't have our bloodwork orders
While I'm calling the doctor's office, the DMV calls me back, and it takes FOREVER for her to reschedule my appointment.
Call the doctor office again.  Leave a message.  Call the emergency line, which I guess was for true life-threatening emergencies.  They call me back and I wait on hold again to talk to the nurse.
The doctor hasn't signed the orders, so he does.  grrrrrr
Finally get the bloodwork done.  This was our third visit, and she knows what's coming.  On our way there, in her lethargic voice she said "all better, no doctor."
Take Lily to my mother-in-law's
Race to work for a meeting, for which they are waiting for me
Almost to work and the nurse calls.  Bloodwork is already back and her counts show infection again.
Meeting, coordinating kids for the afternoon, speed through the must-do's for today at work (already a short week with the Monday holiday)
Pick up Lily and spend over an hour at the doctor waiting, talking, getting shots and waiting some more

It has been a difficult day to find gifts.  But I've tried.  I didn't get to eat lunch.  Which resulted in a headache, which I still have.  It's sticky today.  I've had a feverish baby laying on me much of the day.

Oh, did I mention I stunk?  And I was a sticky, sweaty mess myself?  I've been experimenting with wearing deodorant only (no antiperspirant).  Today the deodorant wasn't strong enough.  (thankfully I have back-up antiperspirant in my desk).  It was also the wrong day to wear a skirt.  I'm pretty sure I flashed a few people at the lab when I stood up with my hot, heavy toddler and my skirt was stuck to my skin and all bunched up.   Sorry folks.

A hard day to embrace.

But I have a flexible job that cares about my family and is supportive of my priorities as a mommy.  I was smart enough to request bloodwork first, instead of two visits to the doctor office in one day.  I was really hoping it wouldn't show anything.  But the pattern is the same, and deep down I knew.

I just wish I really knew what was going on.  I wish someone knew.  Toddlers shouldn't get strong bacterial infections 4 weeks apart.  They are doing a few cultures to try and identify the bacteria.  And waiting to see if the antibiotic shots knock down the fever.

Looking back, I see I never posted a true follow-up to last month's illness.  Her urine culture never grew anything.  So the doctor said there was no way of knowing exactly where the bacteria originated from and how long it had been around, since she's been having these monthly fevers almost all year.  Repeat bloodwork was normal, so we thought all was good.  Guess not, because this nasty thing is back.

I just want answers.

Those I can embrace.

Happy long weekend

Practicing Yankee Doodle Dandee for church on Sunday.

All-Star Baseball games, dusty lots & blazing heat.

Sprinklers topped with otter pops.

BBQ and family.

Bathing suits on doorknobs all through the house.







Summer is here. June and most of her gloom are gone. My quarter-Mexican (with a dash of Cherokee) children are bronzing quite nicely.

However this mama is trying to not get pink and achieve a slightly darker shade of white.

I hope you are enjoying your long weekend. Ours is full as always, but we are together and thats what matters most.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

a little easier

It's summertime!

And the living is easy a little easier.

It always happens when summer hits, especially now that I have one child in school.  I ask myself, "why didn't I become a teacher?"  Because being off for the summer, stretching your 9 or 10 months of paychecks into 12 months, sounds pretty nice and doable.  But then I remember what it would mean to teach in a class all day everyday for 9 months, and I'm incredibly thankful to those who are called to be teachers.  Because although I probably would make an okay teacher, it just doesn't sound all that appealing.  Now teaching college students, I could do.  But it doesn't pay enough and it's hard to break into.

But still, in the summertime, the living is a little easier for me, and I appreciate it.

Although I still have to get up 4 days a week and get myself to work, the kids don't need to be up as early.  They can sleep in and just throw on whatever clothes they want.  There is no rush to get Miss Rose to eat breakfast before school.  I don't stress as much about messy hair.  And in our house of curly-heads, there is a lot of that.

On Mondays, the kids are at home with a babysitter.  Tuesdays and Wednesdays they head to Grammie's house for the day where swimming in her condo pool is usually one of the orders of the day.  Sundays is a work day for me, but since Bean is home, there is no rush out the door for them.  Although Bean does have quite the task of readying three girls for church on his own.  They wear jeans and tshirts a lot, but that's ok.

We don't have to rush to eat dinner by 5:30pm, in order to give time for reading, homework, showers and family time and bed by 7:30pm.  The younger girls are still going to bed around 7:30, but we have started letting Miss Rose stay up until 8pm since she now has her own room.  There are a few kids on our street she enjoys playing with who get home a lot later with their single moms and it's nice when she wants to go ride scooters at 6:30pm to say--sure, go for it.


We all love Thursdays.  Finally a morning they can sleep as long as they want.  Although Lily is usually up by 7am and her greeting lately is "hungry."  But we stay in our jammies for a while, I drink a leisurely cup of coffee (or splurge on two) and the girls enjoy a lazy morning of a few shows and running around playing with each other.  They all often end up in their underwear, or shirtless. 


Come mid-August, we will all be ready for more routine again and Miss Rose will need the intellectual stimulation of school.  We'll make sure to hit the beach a few more times and all our local funspots before school starts after Labor Day.


But for now, we're enjoying some easier living.


I'm linking up today with Work, Wife, Mom, Life.  Even if you aren't a working mom, tell me how you're enjoying summer so far.

this & that

It's been six days since I last blogged!  I am inspired during the day for various blog posts, but by the time the evening hits, I'm so tired and have lost all my ideas.

So here's some this & that, also know as micro-blogging :)  (are smiley faces professional in blogging?  Probably not, but I still like typing them)

Miss Rose & Gracie began their second week of swim lessons today.  They are both really enjoying them and Gracie is learning to swim!  Hopefully once her lessons are done we can ditch her floaties for good.  Miss Rose has a pretty strong and broad upper body.  I'd love to have her on a swim team sometime in the next few years and see how she does.  She love the water.  They get to swim at their Grammie's house quite a bit.

Lily is having some potty-training regression right now, which is driving me crazy.  She's been almost fully-trained for a few months now.  After the first few days she didn't have any daytime accidents, starting staying dry during naps and 4-5 nights a week her pull-up is dry.

And now all of the sudden she has had 2 days in a row of naptime accidents and peed in the highchair, on the carpet and the couch.  And I know it's a control issue because one time she told me she wanted to go pee in her highchair and yesterday she told the babysitter it was apple juice in the highchair not pee.  This is a sneaky one.

I am not sure what's causing it.  Nothing has changed.  Hopefully after having several days off in a row later this week I can get her snapped out of it.  That's one of the hard things about being a working mom, you can't deal with this stuff right away.

Bean is out on the town at a punk rock show, re-living the days of his youth.  I've been to a lot of punk rock shows myself.  He doesn't do a lot of fun, social events--so I'm always very happy when he does.  Everyone needs that.

I am SO in on this book series right now.  I confess, I've loved Christian fiction my whole life.  I've always been a reader and I devoured the church library as a girl and continued on.  I read fiction books so fast though, I typically wait until the local library has them and I check them out.

But on my birthday, I splurged for a Kindle version of the first book in the series, which I read on my iPhone Kindle (LOVE!).  And I couldn't wait for the second book, which was just released.  So I bought it from Amazon and it came yesterday.  Maybe I finished reading it tonight.  I bought the actual book and figured I'll try to re-sell it on Amazon .   And now I have to wait until Fall for the next book and March 2012 for the last one.

Karen Kingsbury's tagline is "life-changing fiction" and I can't tell you how many times a Biblical truth or scripture verse from one of her books (or the countless other authors I have read) sticks with me and inspires me.

For instance, Ezra 10:4 is quoted in the book  I just finished and it's really stuck with me.


"Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it.”

It doesn't necessarily apply to any current situation in my life, but it's a great verse and I'll remember it.

Sometime during the night, I got a sore throat.  And it hasn't gone away.  I feel a little under the weather. I really hope I don't get a full blown cold.  Because it's summer, and a cold in the summer is the pits.  And I have a race on Monday that I want to feel good for.

Today I realized I have a long weekend, kind of.  I have church on Sunday, but Monday is a holiday! 

I told myself I'd get to bed early tonight, since Bean isn't home.  He doesn't need as much sleep as me and I always stay up too late with him.

Toodles!

where I'm from

I read this on Stephanie's blog and I was so captivated, I had to join in.

I am from books, from Diet Coke [although not anymore] 
and coonskin caps.
I am from many houses, all made home by family and 
Ancient sheets and towels and rattan furniture.
I am from the roses and homegrown sprouts
I am from waiting until Christmas Eve to get a tree and 
Playing guitar and singing as a family, 
From YZ and Rose and Marie Durfey.
I am from the brutally honest and laughing your way through tragedy.
From "rub a dub dub thanks for the grub" 
and children should be seen and not heard.
I am from grace and forgiveness, from healing and wholeness, 
from friendship and relationship with Jesus and the gift of his Spirit. 
I'm from Seattle, San Diego, Texas and Louisiana, 
Texas Sheet Cake and Cheez-its, black beans and rice
From the family who folded newspapers together, rode bikes and sat on the back of station wagons to deliver them.  
From siblings who share the same nose, 
the same voice and facial expressions, saying both like "bolth"
who share memories and life, but really look nothing alike.  
From grandparents who collected and 
Grandparents who never figured it out.  
I am from miniature doll houses, Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone, 
from Little House On the Prairie and homeschooling.  
From baby dolls, but never Barbies.  
I am from a little girl, full of dreams, plans and desires
Living them out in ways unexpected
Trusting.  Embracing.  Believing.  Hoping.  Dreaming.


If you'd like to join, here's the original and a template.  Link up in the comments on Steph's blog too!

almost wordless wednesday: the fair

{a very loaded down stroller}

{beauty}

Miss Rose was turning their cup SO fast, Gracie looked petrified, although she was having fun.  

We had to yell to Miss Rose to slow it down

{teacups} 

{my girly girl and her necklace and her current favorite outfit, a skirt and matching tank top with Ariel on them}

She really wanted me to go on the ride with her.  Please note my knees out to the side and how squashed she is because these really aren't made for adults.  But she loved having me with her and that's all that mattered.

{go carts}

{how sweet is her smile?}

{we cannot believe how big our skater girl is getting.  she wears that hat almost every day}

And for fun, check out our trip to the Fair in 2008.  I guess I failed to blog the other years.  Interestingly enough, I was very newly pregnant with Lily in these photos--a fact I was completely unaware of and wouldn't learn for another month or so!

micro-blogging

I seem to lack the time and the dedication to keep up with life happenings on this blog.  So here are five micro-blogs.

We went to the fair on Friday and had lots of fun. I love annual events like this. I remember going with my mom when Miss Rose was 3 and Gracie was just an infant. And then they were 4 and 1, and we went as a family for the first time. And I was unknowingly pregnant with Lily at the time. And we've been there every year since.

Sunday was Father's Day. And my 34th birthday. I spoiled Bean and it felt good. I should spoil him more often. But I guess if we both were prone to spoiling the other, we'd be super broke! Maybe we both need to find balance.

Even though Sunday was my birthday, I wanted it to be a special day for Bean, and I spent the morning at church of course. So I took today off for "self-appreciation." I got a mani/pedi, did some shopping, went for a run. A couple bumps in the road made it slightly less than perfect, but it was nice to choose what I wanted to do all day.

I have 34 reasons that show I'm getting older. Feeling older. Acting older. Looking older. I'm working on embracing it, but it's not always my favorite.

Girls are just as crazy as boys. You may think that because we have three girls, that our lives are not as full of chaos, energy and craziness as a family of three boys. I beg to differ with that opinion. Come over some day, when my beautiful daughters are running around our small home playing tag, sliding in their socks on the wood floor, wrestling, yelling, hitting and kicking one another for fun, dancing, stripping down to their panties to do these activities, and the list goes on. My girls are rough and tumble. That's for sure.

I may or may not get to elaborate on these topics.  May not is more likely.