Bean's Anatomy

I love medical shows.  I remember watching some of the first episodes of ER with my dad and I was a pretty avid fan up until the last few seasons.  I enjoy Gray's Anatomy these days, although sometimes it's more Soap Opera than medical drama.

When watching a medical drama, it's easy to disect it and think "there is no way all that would happen in such a short amount of time, to the same people."

And usually, that's true.

But, may I present to you, a brief outline of an episode of a show I'm calling "Bean's Anatomy" and believe it or not, all of this DID happen in our house this week.

Tuesday night: Small Toddler, spends the wee hours of the morning vomiting in her bed, on the floor, the bathroom, on her father, in her parents bed, etc. 

Wednesday: Mother of said toddler spends the morning at home with the sick child, watching movies and having quiet time.  Also, caring for an infant, who is mellow and doesn't have a large appetite, who has a cold.  Father of said toddler comes home for the afternoon shift.  Toddler seems like she's getting better, until right before bed, when she projectile vomits all over Mother (Father isn't home at this time).  Everyone sleeps well that night, so there is hope that the flu is gone.


Thursday: Oh no, the flu is back with a vengeance.  Toddler spends the morning vomiting any amount of liquid she consumes.  She's burning up with fever, so she's thirsty and can't understand why she can't drink.  A trip to the doctor confirms a bad flu, and although dehydration isn't yet an issue, it could be if things don't turn.  After dinner, you may not belive it, but the Father begins to show signs of the flu, which become full-fledged quickly.  Mother is banished to sleeping on the couch, while sick Toddler and Father are in the bed.  By 1am, everyone is soundly sleeping for the next few hours.

Friday, part 1: Father is weak, Toddler is mellow, Baby is even more mellow.  Kindergartener is also suffering a cold and quite reistant to school.  Mother doesn't have the energy to force the issue and concedes to a family sick day.  Because, you guessed it, Mother isn't feeling too hot herself.  Mother's flu isn't quite as severe as Father's was.  But the heartburn she begins to experience late that night certainly is severe.  Restless, fussy baby is in parents bed, but Mother is writhing in pain on the couch and poor, tired, weak Father is trying to tend her.  Fussy baby finally falls asleep for good.

Friday, part 2: What to do for Mother?  Mylanta isn't working, let's look up home remedies.  How about baking soda and water?  Not bad.  Works a bit.  Oh no, it's back.  Round 2 of baking soda water.  And yet it's back again.  Next up?  A tablespoon of brown sugar; worth a shot, right.  Well, not so much.  The combo, mixed with flu, causes major vomiting, all over the carpet of course.  And what's that mixed in the vomit?  Oh, it looks like blood.  That combined with the intense pain, calls for a trip to the ER, with a call to Super-Grammie to come stay with the sleeping children.

Friday, part 3: A few hours later and Mother is in a bed, with tests being run. The initial assumption is a broken blood vessel from vomiting, but better safe than sorry.  Father stays strong, even his flu-weakened state.  Many vials of blood, a very awful naso-gastric tube and other things not suited for television, the intial diagnosis is confirmed.  All is well and safe and IV meds have helped with the acid and heartburn.

Saturday: Father and Mother arrive back home, minutes before 5am, to Super-Grammie who hasn't slept, but has been cleaning and waiting.  Father sleeps 2 hours, then rises with the munchkins, Mother sleeps 3 hours and rises when the babe does.  Baby, is increasingly uphappy and not showing signs of improvement.  So, a sleep deprived Mother takes the Baby in, who is diagnosed with a double ear infection and eye infections on the side.  Mother feels terrible that she didn't identify this sooner, especially when she finds out Baby has lost almost a pound since her well-baby check 2 weeks prior.  Father dons his Superman cape and rents a Rug Doctor to clean the vomit up, fills prescriptions, runs errands, and cleans house.  He does get a 2hr nap while all the children nap too.  Mother takes a few short naps during the day herself.

Sunday: Things are returning to normal.  Toddler & Baby don't have much of an appetite and low energy.  Mother and Father are looking like they've been on a great diet plan.  Mother though, sounds quite gravely thanks to the damage done by the NG tube experience.  Toddler & Baby are feeling quite bony and need some fattening up!  Mother and Father don't mind this crash diet plan and hope to capitalize on the product.  Oh, and the Kindergartener?  Well, she's a trooper.  She probably does have a treatable infection, but Mother has learned that if she's not running a fever and just needing a lot of tissue, the infection will resolve itself without need of antibiotics, which Mother avoids when possible.  But we are going through a lot of tissue.

Think this would be a believable episode on a medical show?  Perhaps not, but it really happened.  More than you would believe, huh?