Not My Children!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week it's the "Not My Child" edition.

And may I remind you, you can't make this stuff up!

Yesterday while celebrating a special occasion at a friend's home, my children were invited to swim in the pool, which also has a slide.

It was not my risk-taker of a 2yr old who decided to walk down ALL the stairs into the pool, chasing after a toy, without any floaties. She did not begin to go under the water, causing me to walk right into the pool after her, in my clothes, wetting myself to the hips, to pluck her out of danger and place her back into safety, just as she was going under for the second time.

Nor was it my other risk-taker of a 5yr old who decided to go down the rather steep slide on her knees, not five minutes after the stair incident and promptly hit her head on the end of it. Hard. Hard enough to be heard by those around.

It was not this same daughter who wore the same clothes two days in a row after spending the night at Grammie's house. She did not play outside with cousins the first day and then wear the clothes to church and a school BBQ the next day. Not my child. She is very amenable to the decisions I make for her, such as what clothes I pack in her bag.

And now for my favorite moment that couldn't have happened this week...

My 2yr old is not talented enough to shoot a stream of urine right onto her father's crotch, as he lifted her from the toilet to see if she was actually going. Apparently she was. This was not at a baseball game, where Bean had to return to his seat, looking like he had urinated on himself.

Not my children, friends. They practice pool safety, wear clean clothes every day and would never urinate on a parent. No way.

Don't forget...I'm having my first (albeit, small) giveaway. You have until Thursday to enter by posting a comment here.