the best I can do?

How often do you find yourself thinking, or saying "I'm doing the best I can."

I am pretty sure I both say and think it quite a bit.  Sometimes, it's quite true.

Often I think its how we give ourselves permission to not achieve perfection.  We know perfection is impossible, yet we still want it, or at least the appearance of it.

Other times, we use that phrase as a cop-out, an excuse.  If we say "I'm doing the best I can" no one can really fault us.  They feel pressured to accept it as truth, because "the best I can" is relative, it's not objective.

No one else can tell you what the best you can do is.  They may try, but usually they just say "ok" and leave it at that.

Has anyone ever challenged you though, and said "I think you can do better?"  I don't think anyone has ever challenged me in that way.  It would be difficult to hear, but I'd like to think I'd take inventory and truly investigate if I was doing the best I could.

I'm in the process of reading and teaching the book The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg, and that's exactly what his wife told him.  She approached him with several things she wasn't happy with and he said "I'm doing the best I can" and she said "no, you're not.  You're not living up to what you teach and preach or what you've done in the past."  That incident was one of the factors that lead to the journey which turned into this book.

It really has caused me to stop and think.  I believe I've been accepting too much mediocrity in my life.  Mediocrity that I'm to blame for.  I let things go in the house.  I don't keep up with various cleaning and organizing tasks.  Yes it's true that I'm tired, that I'm busy, that I'm a working mom of young children, that I need to take care of myself.

But truly, these things I leave undone for far too long, take probably a maximum of twenty minutes to complete.  Easily done.  But discipline and a plan is required.

In some respects, I'm NOT doing the best I can, even though I try to pretend I am.  And it's not about perfection or getting things done.  A lot of times, I just forget what needs to be done when I have the time to do it, until it's too late and I'm too tired.  The bottom line is I feel better about myself and better about life in general when I am on top of these basic tasks.

This last week and weekend were pretty out of control.  The little girls were sick and I was trying to get work stuff accomplished from home. Then I taught a class all day Friday and most of Saturday.  When I got home on Saturday we drove 90 miles to one of my best friends baby showers.  Sunday was a busy day at church and I officiated a memorial service in the afternoon and didn't get home until 3:30pm.

I had every reason to sit around on Monday and relax.  But so many areas of my home needed attention. And we were all home and it was a warm, beautiful day.  In actually started on Sunday when I cleaned the kitchen and dining room floors.  Monday I went to work cleaning, purging and organizing in the girls' rooms.  I de-cluttered other parts of the house.  It pretty much took all day, between stops to play with the kids, attend to them, and take care of life as well.

It felt good.  It energized me.  And when I walk into the bedrooms, it's like a breath of fresh air now.  I can say on Monday, I truly did the best I could.

This morning, I got up at 5:15am so that I could run.  Bean had to leave at 6am and I'm needed to be back in the house by then.  Yes, it was early.  But I haven't been running enough and I've been more on edge and tense.  So running early, was my best.

I have a list of forms I'm going to print from Monday Saving Mom and Simple Mom to help me organize.  I love lists and organization, routines and plans. But I've been slacking big time.  It's time to step it up.  I'm going to find what works for me.  I want to do truly do the best I can do.  I don't want to settle for mediocrity any longer.

I'll still have days I slack.  We'll still spend days in our jammies.  But I want to have earned those days.

I want to know I'm truly doing the best I can.  Because I know I'll be happier when I am.

What do you think?  Do you use this as a cop-out sometimes?  Are there any downloads, forms, schedules etc that you find helpful?

clean up, clean up

Do all six-year-olds protest cleaning, or is it just mine?

Because you'd think we were asking her to remodel the house.

She whines and moans and complains.  She "can't" see things that are right in front of her.  She tirades about the unfairness of it all.

Quite frankly, it's exhausting just supervising.  Which is maybe how we go to this point in the first place.  It's much easier to do it ourselves, or just leave it.

This night though, I was going to win the battle.  So I followed her around, instructing her on what needed to be done.  I made her throw away the tiny pieces of paper she had cut, much to her dismay.  She had to pick things up and put them in their rightful place.  I wasn't going to let the 5 markers on the TV cabinet stay there, like I usually do.  We were cleaning up every little thing.

And, she did.  It was a battle though.  Lots of tears and protests.  I had to tell her every little thing to do. 

What kills me, is she is one of the most responsible kids in her classroom.  Always volunteering and helping.  Never giving her teacher trouble.

So I know she has it in her, the potential is there.

Now if I can just muster the energy to go through this tomorrow night. 

Consistency is key, right?

I need your organization tips!!

If you've been reading, you know we recently moved. For good. We bought a home and expect to be here for a long time. There are many great things about our home...and also a few challenges. One of the challenges is the size and layout.



We were in a house that was about 1500 square feet. We had two living areas, one of which we actually lived in (TV, couches etc) and the other was the girls' toys and other stuff (i.e. junk and clutter). The bedrooms were decent sized and each girl had their own room.



Our HOME is a little over 1100 square feet. We have one living area--a combined living room and dining room. The bedrooms are on the smaller side and Miss Rose and Gracie are sharing. The third bedroom is under construction and is being used for storage and baby stuff currently. Hopefully by this summer it will be a functional bedroom.



Bean and I are actually excited about the challenge of living in a smaller space. We didn't utilize the larger space too well. We'd rather have less clutter and a peaceful small home, than a large home full of stuff that is unused. Of course as the kids get older, we'll need less baby/toddler stuff and they will be more of a help in keeping it clean as well.



I desparately don't want a home that is full of clutter. I have a tendency to be a bit of a pack-rat. I like to save things and can be too sentimental. I am always worried that the minute I throw something away, I'll need or want it. In our living room we have one bookcase. Currently it's full of books (surprise, surprise). I plan to rearrange it to hold some baskets and nice storage boxes to help with organization.



How do you keep your home clutter free? How do you organize and store your children's toys? I need to get the girls' room to a point where they will go in there and play--but right now there is no organization to their stuff, so they don't spend much time in there.



I'm at a loss as to what to do with paperwork and bills and mail. We had a large counter in our other house that became a catch-all for this sort of thing. It was actually a huge eyesore and I don't miss having it. But as a working mom of three children, with a husband who has 2 jobs...sometimes I have to stack things up before I can go through them and figure out where they belong.



How do you keep your home clean? According to the counter I have on my blog, there are a lot of people reading it...so come out of the woodwork (even anonymously) and give me your ideas!!

Motivation

It's Thursday night and the house is quiet. I finished putting Miss Rose to bed, Gracie is already down and Bean is at worship practice. There is a WHOLE house calling my name. Calling for me to do the dishes and clean the kitchen. Our wood floors are crying to be swept and cleaned, as is the kitchen linoleum. There is laundry that needs to be done and countless items laying around that need a home.

But I'm tired. It's the "end" of my work week. Wednesday is my marathon days, so by Thursday I am just toast. I actually went to bed a little early last night so I wasn't as tired this morning, but my brain is still fried. The last thing I feel like doing is cleaning.

I seriously lack motivation. And yes--while all of the above about my work week is true...the fact of the matter is, on any given day, at any given time--I lack motivation. There is always something else I'd rather be doing. I'm always fried from dealing with children and want down time. I'm overwhelmed by the tasks. And though it will probably take me less than 30min to complete, that feels like about 5 hours right now.

Let me clarify though...my home is not dirty. It's just messy. I have a real issue with having a dirty home--lots of dust, grime etc. But messy, I guess doesn't bother me so much.

A few years ago I tried out the FlyLady techniques. Me and "flying" just didn't get along. First problem--you're supposed to put on shoes every morning. I live in Southern California. We don't wear shoes very much. Mostly we wear flip flops, but I don't wear them in the house. As a kid I was barefoot outside ALL of the time. In fact Bean jokes with me and my sisters about our "dirty feet" because we never wear shoes. I just couldn't agree with the FlyLady about that one.

I did get good at shining a sink. Our previous house had a stainless steel sink and that thing SHONE...when I decided to go through the whole process. Our kitchen sink now is ceramic. I've taught Bean the art of bleaching it to get it clean...but it doesn't really shine.

The first level of FlyLady is being a "Flybaby." I don't think I ever made it to flybaby status. I created my own new bottom level of "maggot." I have issues with throwing stuff away. I have issues with organization. I save stuff in case I need it...but then when I need it, I can never find it. Bean is a minimalist. I border on pack-rat. Our home needs something in between.

But---I know if I don't get up right now and clean up, Bean will probably go agro when he gets home and do it; well at least the kitchen. And if I put it off until the morning, I will miss out on sweet time with my girls and that just won't do.

Alright...alright...I'm getting up...I'm doing it...

Gotta at least keep my "maggot" status. Don't want to fall down to larvae.