Saturday, March 29, 2008

No more Supermom

I definately have a "do it yourself" complex. I always have. It's just part of my independant nature. Being the oldest of 4 kids, I seemed to naturally take charge of stuff and get things done (yes, I know, sometimes I was called bossy). When I went away to college I did everything--from college applications to financial aid to living arrangements all on my own. I enjoy taking care of things.

Fast forward to being a mom. I thrive on being a mom. But, living in So Cal means that I also have to work. I'm thankful to have a schedule that allows me a few weekdays at home with my kids. I really try to give my kids as much of the "stay at home mom" experience that I had growing up. Baking together, park, playdates, etc. It can get exhausting though. Most days I'm home with them, their naptime is my rest time!

For almost a year my husband has worked a second job just to help pay down some debt. He doesn't get home until about 7:30 four nights a week. And his "day job" requires him leaving the house before the girls are awake. So, most of the weekly kid stuff falls to me--which I'm fine with. I love it and I'm appreciative that he's working extra (although he admits my "job" sometimes is harder!).

But here's the deal. The circumstances of our life right now requires an element of "supermom-dom." There are many errands that won't get done unless I do them with 2 kids along. My hubby wouldn't even dream of bathing the 2 kids together--which I do all the time. The list could go on.

I realized this week thought, that I can take my supermom-dom too far. Case in point. I had a 3-day minister's conference to go to out of town this week. There was childcare provided during the main sessions and meeting. So I figured, why not bring the kids. That way I don't lose time with them. Hubby isn't trying to balance kids with his jobs etc.

What was I thinking??? Now--the kids did great. They didn't have normal naps or bedtime, but they didn't really lose it, until the last day. But, it was a chance I could have had some time to myself. In reality, since I'm still nursing, the baby would have come with me--but I could have left Miss Rose at home. Hubby even offered and said he'd work it out--but I refused.

I was so exhausted by the end. Most of the meals we eat at restaurants--which required me getting my vehicle (praise God for valet parking) getting the kids in, putting the stroller in, driving, entertaining kids while we waited for food, finding food they would eat etc. Instead of hopping in a van with my co-workers and enjoying adult conversation.

So, I've learned a lesson. I am a working mom. And sometimes, it's actually better for my kids if I don't try to include them in everything I do. It's something I need to accept. Maybe I'll get to be a stay at home grandma someday!!


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